If you titled it "WInter Haikus" I don't see why not. We're all fairly liberal with form these days.

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Hi John, thankyou. Railway station platforms can be joyous, lonely, exciting, painful places. Win x

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

is it still a haiku if you do more than one verse of the form ?

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Yes it fits form. It's a really cool idea. Maybe you should expand the sentiment into a longer piece.

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

tried again

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Hello Win
Just re-read Walking Away from Platform 6 in Along the Iron Veins.
You are there on merit.

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hello Dave
Thanks for your thoughts on Sleep Easy. There's a row of 13 graves in St Mary's Cemetery in Hucknall where I'm from. They're the graves of Polish Airmen who inspired the poem. (So far as I know there is no Tadeus Makulski or Zigmunt Kovacs among them).

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

seasons, birds, flowers etc yes. I got the shoeless joke! :-) Win. P.S. You could have 'A barefoot footstep' or something like that

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

well i did think about the joining up thing , and as it was an exercise in trying to do it win i think it does matter , and as for the subject matter being sad ,, its not sad at all ,, its a joke about my name and i heard that you are supposed to include a season

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

I like the poem, though I thought it was more prosaic in some parts than necessary. The light of language remains almost unknown - really!I'd have thought that because of the Internet it was now easier to access the written word than ever before.

Comment is about The Written Word (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

thx... re ghazals... they have already being corrupted beyond recognition. look up 'Bastard Ghazals' it it a recognised term! x

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Carole, well traditionally (as far as a haiku in English can be traditional?) it doesn't as there is enjambment between the 1st and 2nd lines. but thats only important if it's important to you. Win X

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Well you follow the 5,7,5 syllable structure Shoeless so it is a haiku. I personally don't like split sentences but that is just me - plenty of folk on here use them. I would probably say 'standing there barefoot' or something like that. The other sentences stand well enough on their own.
It is a bleak one but works well.

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Je l'aime bien, Carole...
C'est joli, et même un peu triste si on veut...

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Ta for your comments on the knitting poem. I'd rather not qualify my intents but if people are asking/wondering it seems churlish.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I realise that Win - I was just pulling your leg cos you are a good sport and don't seem to mind us doing that. Trouble with tinternet is that you often wonder afterwards if people are taking you seriously. Ghazals - I thought that was an animal? I shall have to look into it and see what I can do to corrupt things...

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Good one. Maybe "We all feel Extra special in coach E"? The 4 lines from "The ribs....turkey" are terrific, as is "Vacant masts sharp as fish bones". I think you'd have a better ending without the last 2 lines.

Comment is about coach E (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

go on , does it follow form i dont know , i looked at wiki and felt a little pale :)

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Aha... I was trying to say... well done, an interesting angle on the traditional haiku form, I am not at all protective of it. You can have as many syllables as you like on my part LOL. just an observation. Don't get me started on ghazals however! Win x

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

just another day on our rail network eh! nice observations Ann. Are there red sandstone cliffs in Dawlish Warren? liked the turkey ribs. Win x

Comment is about coach E (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

oh very very clever! Odessa Lady-well done! love-Stefan-xx

Comment is about The Days I Drink (rzhepick) (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Breakfast haiku

A jug of milk and
One bowl of Readybrek and
Two spoons a warm glow

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Could the world really stand up to all our 'through the mangle' poetry? I doubt it Dave but it might be funny in a black kind of way.

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Aaaah - thanks for your comments folks - was feeling fed up this week-end but your comments have cheered me up - or was it the the 2 glasses of red?
I see you are shaping up to be a Haiku poet Francine! You'll have to take Winston on - clash of the titans! I always feel guilty when I post a haiku - especially when it gets a lot of comments - it is so easy to write. It is nice to do something restful for a change though. xx let the good will of Merlot spill around to one and all xx

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Je l'aime, Isobel.

Those who break the 'rules'
Envious imitation
Are those who follow



The space between us
To break away and feel free
Kills the love we have

; )

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I think books probably are slowly on the way out. To people of our age (I assume you're of a similar vintage Cynthia) this seems a shame, but children today are growing up reading from a screen as naturally as from paper. It's not necessarily a bad thing though - sites like this show that poetry can thrive on the internet, and I'm sure when paper was first invented many people said, "but it's just not the same as a stone tablet!"

Comment is about The Written Word (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Ah yes, great minds think alike it seems...! Evocative and provocative. I like the experiments with layout and font sizes.

Comment is about The Rustle of Autumn (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks Cynthia. I wrote it a few weeks ago because the BBC Autumnwatch programme was asking for autumn themed poems for their website, but it doesn't look as if they're going to broadcast any of them now, so I thought I'd share it on WOL instead.

Comment is about A gardener reminisces. (blog)

Original item by Tim Ellis

That's possible Ann - getting scattier all the time. Thanks for commenting, everyone - it's been a consolation (sniff, reaches for hanky). And thanks for refraining from cracks about laundry and men "boldly going where no man has gone before".

PS last mangle I saw was in a museum. What about 'Through the mangle' as a competition theme?

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I like this Ann. The pace of the poem is just right for the reflective yet alert mood which a train journey can create. I'm sure I'm not the only reader whose mind goes back to journeys taken. That's sad about the woman killed - it sometimes happens when dogs fall in water as well. Deserving of a poem in itself.

Comment is about coach E (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I like these Cornwall-Paddington poems! The third stanza is the best, full of sharp observation, the cormorants, the egrets and the wreck, and the killer line: "It always was a troubled village." !! Just shows, you always get good poems from trains ...

Comment is about coach E (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

oops! sorry Janet-I was only referring you to laughter-with no intention of belittling this lovely poem

Comment is about Clearance Lines (blog)

Hi there. Thanks for your message of support re WOL. And yes, I did tag my poem with 'hedonism' didn't I? I guess I was thinking of it as a kind of fun abandonment; a lapse in rigidity, both formal and sexual. It's not a life philosophy of mine, by the way. The poem is purely hypothetical.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Ah yes Stef.. but you confused me with the reference because it really isn't relevant for this poem. Thank you for the explanation though :-)

Comment is about Clearance Lines (blog)

hi again Janet-you mean to tell me you have never read the chronicles of narnia?(the Lion,the witch and the WARDROBE! my previous spelling of the lions name was meant to be pronounced in a posh way..h'aslan..lol!..Aslan-enjoyed the poem of course as I do with all your work-thank you-Stef-xx

Comment is about Clearance Lines (blog)

Lovely Freda. Fantastic imagery going on here.
'I scramble down long screes of cloud
and wrap my fear in fine spun shroud.
Super lines.x

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Maybe the latest discussion thread wheedled its way into this one Winston. There is a shift from me to you :-)

I love it Isobel. Hope you tagged it for the comp. As far as i can see there's no rules to say you can't post another one and enter it at a later date.x

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Cynthia, thanks for comment on my poem 'Clearance Lines.'
These days i would rather allow the readers to come to their own conclusions when reading my stuff and love reading their own interpretations of it for comparison to my own but..seeing as you asked for a little more...

It's actually based on the visions in a meditation and quite personal to me in the sense of past, present and future.
I think the dead mouse is me :-)
The rest is de-clutter of stuff/baggage :-)
Isaiah in this particular case is a loose reference to becoming a seer or seeing the future.(my future)
I decided not to embellish on anything else i saw ahead of me. Let's just say the future looks bright :-)

I'm thoroughly enjoying this phase of short poems for however long it lasts and really appreciate your input.x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I wouldn't change it Isobel, I think it's great. xx

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I think this is charming as it gallops along in rhyme and rhythm, and it makes an serious social point in a comic way. Well done.

Comment is about Outdated (blog)

Original item by Dorinda MacDowell

Tim, this is really good. The rhyme scheme is so effortless it slipped by me the first time as I read just for the pleasure of your chosen words and the cadence of your lines. A sonnet no less! I, too, am an ardent admirer of naked trees. If it interests you at all, you could check out The Rustle of Autumn, probably October or November, 2009.

Comment is about A gardener reminisces. (blog)

Original item by Tim Ellis

Good afternoon Freda-this poem has a very angelical feel to it-beautiful-thank you-

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Great imagery, full of innate ideas. There is a lot to know about Isaiah. A brilliant word; please elaborate just a bit. I can hardly believe you are the same writer as a year ago.

Comment is about Clearance Lines (blog)

I love the title Freda. The whole thing has a hymn like quality for me.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

It is lovely to see someone embracing rhyme though Freda. It gives a lovely flow to the poem which echoes the bird in flight, I feel.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

I think this poem has a good feel, with some lovely phrases, but I also feel that it limps into some very average language and imagery, like a kite not quite lifted up, struggling for the upper drafts.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Ha - rules are there to be broken Win and someone has to evolve poetry formats - why not me?
This still feels a bit nothingy to me - possibly cos it's haiku. I tried to write a proper poem about space but decided not to inflict it on you...
I may try adding some verses to this instead - if I can find the words.

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

It's the physical writing of Lawrence that I appreciate so much, his language and style. He could talk lengthily about phoniness because he was a prime example himself, analysis gone nuts; he must have known this even as he wrote, in a kind of supreme self-irony. But he had insights of the human condition and of cultural changes. I often wondered if he were really homosexual. Frieda sure kept him on his 'manly' toes. I suppose good writers must be complex; otherwise how do they relate to such a cross-section of life? Feminism is a many-faceted idea, in my opinion too often reduced for soapbox purposes to vacuous simplicity. It's good to talk to you. I loved meeting you at Hebden Bridge.

Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)

Original item by Freda Davis

As many WOL friends have begun to suspect, I would now jump right in to contest the last stanza, praising the unparalleled value of 'pots' and 'tools' to our understanding of human development. I would be my own adversary - good brain tickling.

Comment is about The Written Word (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Very Emily Bronteish this, for me, Freda. I was there on the moors above Haworth. Enjoyed it.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis