I see what you mean. it is a huge cliches but I feel that each couplet in that is a cliches maybe. When I first wrote that poem I played about with the punctuation but it didn't seem to work in practice. On the page people seemed confused and when I read it out I left a full stop beat.

thanks for your feedback :)

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I liked the enigmatic feel of this poem.

Comment is about three signs (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

And how sorry I was not to be there with you all! Ah, well, next time I hope. Thanks for the poem - it is a little piece of that adventure for us to share with you.

Comment is about coda - hebden bridge (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Elaine - how could I possibly mind you saying that - you are too kind! xx

Comment is about the man from rejerrah (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Enjoyed this piece a lot. Like all of your poems, if you don't mind me saying, there is a lovely soul behind it.

Comment is about the man from rejerrah (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thanks. I was really annoyed I had to leave early on the Tudor night. Oh well, i've got a sabbatical coming up from January to April so I should be able to come down to a few more events. Any you can suggest.

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

Perfectly lovely poem. I also could see this as a piece for children although I enjoyed it too.

Comment is about rainraingoaway (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

"Their love echoes round the oceans" and "and together
they fall into that heavy nothingness" are wonderful lines. A very touching poem.

Comment is about whale music (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Verses 3 to 6 seem to me very strong. But "we are all grown ups" linked to the reference to the woman killed rescuing her dog seems a strong link binding a theme of the poem. Like Ray I don't think you have to have the last 2 lines but you know best what effect you are aiming at so maybe we are just plain wrong!

Comment is about coach E (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I remember sometime around 1970 being asked at school to write a story about what it would be like to be the size of an electron...and some girl in the class got a 'merit', 10 out of ten for a complete load of crap about being able to see people as giants and chairs seeming huge...and I'd written about being in a black void where nothing was visible in any direction and how matter was indivisible from time and space...and I got 3 out of ten for just turning up.

It literally changed my life...I gave up on any teacher actually being able to say anything sensible to me for years..it turned me against the system....because that teacher was just so stupid! (and she didn't like my essay).

Sad innit?

: (

Jxxx

Comment is about Inner Space (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Isobel - spot on! Many thanks for your thoughful and bang on comments on "Post Past"!

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Your poem reminds me of how I never could get to grips with anything scientific.

I like the thoughtfulness of this though Dave and the very positive note you end on. x

Comment is about Inner Space (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hey Ann

Thanks for the lovely comment on Mcdonalds Sky. Anything you reckon I could do better on it.

James :)

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thanks all. It was a bit of a scribble that I put directly up as a blog, so the story telling bits might not sit happily with the "poetic" bits. But it was an interesting journey. Public transport is very conducive to poems!

Comment is about coach E (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Re: your comments on my comments (!) on your poem "Beloved" - I feel the same. Love for a child is something else altogether.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Thank you for your comment on my "Post Past". I must take some time to look at your recent work. I looked at my settings, never having done so before, and saw that, by accident, you were on some kind of excluded list! So sorry - it means I haven't been able to see your recent poems on the blog. I shall rectify that tonight.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Oooh! I like both!

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Continuing to enjoy your poems, Laura. No, I've not written about my "nod of recognition" yet but I am sure it will come along one day - ah, sweet catharsis! x

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

I really love the first four lines. The beginning of the next verse loses momentum for me, but the end comes back strong. Good one!

Comment is about Lazy Sun (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Thanks Elaine.

Comment is about A gardener reminisces. (blog)

Original item by Tim Ellis

Very clever selection of words to convey a lot in a little! Who wants to be a purist - if it works, that's all that matters.

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Yet I guess the point is we use phrases that are sometimes a bit well worn because they work. This poem felt comforting, familiar but yet not completely so because it has your voice, Freda.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Enjoyed this poem, Tim. The wrap of the lines hides, like the "sheen of frost", the tight structure!

Comment is about A gardener reminisces. (blog)

Original item by Tim Ellis

Really enjoyed the ideas you are exploring here.

Comment is about The Written Word (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Absolutley agree with steve here. Spot on. Would love to hear this poem performed. Very powerful.

Comment is about No Call for It (blog)

Original item by Steven Waling

Of all poems concerning war and rememberance so far on the site this month, I find this to be the best, to my taste. It conveys something of what it must have felt like rather than generic-sounding phrases that can be written when looking at war from a distance of time. Very difficult not to be hackneyed when writing on this topic - it has been truly done to death but you have brought some freshness to it here.

Comment is about What am I Knitting? (blog)

That's what is so wonderful about poetry I think and good poetry in particular - it allows the audience to engage in dialogue with the piece, bringing into play their own interpretations. I too love such descriptive poems on nature. Thanks, Janet.

Comment is about Life (blog)

Very beautiful poem. I read it last week when you posted it but have enjoyed reading it again since then. I appreciate that you share your work here. Thanks.

Comment is about Tide Turn (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Yeah, I saw it as part of my English Literature degree.

Any thoughts on my poem's meaning?

Comment is about Fourth Wall of Faustus (blog)

Original item by Ushiku Crisafulli

I'm glad you made the connection of hydrate with tears - that is what I wanted to communicate - the idea that your tears could be used to bring someone back to life - it isn't overkill for me - I like to express myself passionately.
I think deep down I probably was thinking about the love of a mother for a child. I have never loved a partner with this depth - though as I said before, I know such love does exist - I've witnessed it.
Thanks for taking the time to comment and to think deeply about the words - I really appreciate it.
Isobel x

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

I enjoy your poems so much. Not so much the Ps (or Qs) as such wonderful alliteration!

Comment is about Antique Zealot (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

I liked this a lot and, like Cynthia, will re-read it for further enjoyment!

Comment is about WHAT GUIDES THE SPIDER (blog)

Love it. Fave line :"gravity for idiots".

Question the lack of punctuation though. I see that as too much of a blur of words. Punctuation would encourage more readers.

Comment is about venomous (blog)

Funny how poems conjure up different interpretations - I thought of it as mother and child. As you say, it's the wonderful flow of ideas on this site. I am remembering the last one of yours I read - the "Old Oak"! I agree there is nothing wrong with odd and even what at times appear ugly words ("Life sucks")but I wonder is it that in chosing hydrate that it is overly employing the image of tears. Is that why it hasn't struck right for some? Loved this line: "immortalise for me the very bones of you". Really deeply felt poem.

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Isobel

must admit not a fan of archeic language use. Did you see the recent production at The Exchange?

Comment is about Fourth Wall of Faustus (blog)

Original item by Ushiku Crisafulli

Very gentle, thoughtful poem. Sad but tender.

Comment is about Castaway (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

It took a few reads for me to really get into this one. Maybe it's because i'm not a regular traveller on trains.
I love the images in it and particularly the references to cormorants, egrets and the troubled village too.x

Comment is about coach E (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

It always makes me laugh when people say the sun is a male energy. I like to think of her as a Goddess :-)
Nice poem Freda.x

Comment is about Lazy Sun (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Reading this made me feel all knotted up and twisted inside. Not a very nice feeling at all but certainly effective.x

Comment is about venomous (blog)

Hi Andy, thanks very much for your recent comments. Much appreciated.x

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Thanks for comments.
I have to say I wasn't sure it could be acceptable as a poem. It's based on a visualized meditation which might give some idea of what it means to me personally.
I think the dead mouse reflects a part of me that is now dead. I suppose that in itself has several connotations. I left it there as a gentle reminder :-)
Isaiah is a loose reference to seeing the future (my future).
I decided not to elaborate on my vision. Let's just say the future looked bright :-)

Comment is about Clearance Lines (blog)

Hi Cynthia - ta for your comment on Bike. No, I didn't want to change anything either :)

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Very upsetting - losing what would, no doubt, have been your finest work. I get round the problem by only committing to paper (or pc file anyway) my mediocre and rubbish stuff, the works of genius I keep safe in my head.
On the subject of ridiculous and regretted, own fault lost things ... I once got £100 out in American dollars to send to my son (who was living in the US at the time) - and accidentally put it in the paper re-cycling bin - on the day of collection.
xx

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

thanks for all the comments and contributions on this effort

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

yeah, cynthia raises a good point here, Janet.. you've really jumped up several gears here with your writing - just goes to show what a break can do for you from here.. keep em coming as this is top stuff xx

Comment is about Clearance Lines (blog)

excellent, isobel.. am useless at counting dashes on haiku's must admit but there's certainly plenty of SPACE here... lol

nice one xx (Not even had chance to think about my Space poem yet but i do have a title) xx

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

lovely, Ann.. speaking as a person who regularly gets train to and from work and also visiting his other half, i can really see this.

my favourite bit is:

Vacant masts sharp as fish bones,
a soft-blurred horizon alternating
with the shock of sudden tunnels.

but it's a strong poem on the whole.. top one, ann x

Comment is about coach E (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I like it - also prefer the present tense - more immediate.
xx

Comment is about Shoeless (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

I appreciated your comment about the pain in 'Tide Turn' Ann. Some of my poems are a bit raw, I think.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I think Cynthia is right, that there are some fairly cliched phrases here. Thank you for all the comments. I like it for the slightly ghostly voice of it, Myself.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis