Profile image

Jane C. Steele

Tue 10th Oct 2017 11:51

It would have been nice had you acknowledged the author’s name on the title.
Jane Steele

Comment is about Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Garden by Jane C. Steele in Lily Blossom Florist, poems in shops at Marsden Jazz Festival, part of Marsden the Poetry Village (photo)

Original item by Marsden the Poetry Village

Profile image

raypool

Tue 10th Oct 2017 11:49

Thanks for stopping by Hannah, I appreciate your reading as I equally enjoy your work. Personally I try to avoid any destruction of living things - then again I am not vegetarian so there's a dilemma.

Thanks David; that line you mention I was pleased with . In browsing through gun magazines you get a flavour of this and the ritualistic process - nothing changes! I think there can usually be a back story that chimes if you open out the thoughts. The idea of an awareness of danger is itself compelling especially where creatures have advanced protection systems.
Thanks for liking Kevin!

Cheers and thank you all.

Ray

Comment is about HUNTERS' MOON (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 10th Oct 2017 11:44

Much enjoyed - concept and execution.

I'm going to risk a small suggestion. Would you even consider omitting 'naked' in the last line? I've reread it several times, and I think it might be one word too many, maybe one 'n' too much. I feel 'nape' implies 'naked' quite strongly, all by itself, and the repeated 'long a sound' gives it a braying quality, while 'nape of my neck' almost feels like a 'nuzzle', which I think you intend.

This opinion is offered with respect and sincerity, because I really like it. If you hate such comments, just say so.

Comment is about Exquisite Vision (blog)

Original item by Lan

Profile image

raypool

Tue 10th Oct 2017 11:37

A wonderful trip into the possible with that tug of war feeling about it. Very enjoyable read with a sense of the dramatic Hannah. My older brother is the personification of the traveller, always restless and drawn back to revisit earlier visits. He is now 83, so this lends an extra punch to the poem for me. I like the comparison with a dance too.
Congratulations .

Ray

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Helen Elliott

Tue 10th Oct 2017 07:25

Thanks Tony 😊

Comment is about Groundhog Day (blog)

Original item by Helen

Profile image

Raj Ferds

Tue 10th Oct 2017 06:38

I love the way it ends Justine. Funky and upbeat.
Don't let them get you down. That's the clear message from this poem. Nice one.

Raj

Comment is about The Way He Makes Me Feel (blog)

Original item by Justine Chapman

Ryn

Tue 10th Oct 2017 03:32

Really good! It makes you think and wonder.

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Philip Stevens

Tue 10th Oct 2017 00:52

The spirit is cleansed

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Joy

Profile image

Philip Stevens

Tue 10th Oct 2017 00:50

I am now in oct 2018... what a journey ...

"Who knows what the new day brings and how the imagination will unfold "

Comment is about How to approach a new year (blog)

Original item by Joy

Dalan Jahan

Mon 9th Oct 2017 22:49

What a nice poem it is !
Thanks poet for your great poem.

Comment is about A Moment Of Peace (blog)

Original item by Anna Marie Grinter

Dalan Jahan

Mon 9th Oct 2017 22:36

He has gone this way
Dalan Jahan

Long-term wounds
He has gone this way
How many shades of flowers are inclined
He has walked far and wide in faraway places.
Crowded petals broke
He never hurts for him
Hemant's looted mall
The emotional emotional stroke
Somebody in the mind of the thought, did not rush
But how many times have they gone this way?

Every time in the darkness of gulf
He picked up, austere eye
Book far away from the road left
She was crying so loudly
The tree star gazes wet the eyes.


There were guests who were guests
They were sunflower arriving songs
It was a great day to celebrate every day
All of you are sunflower
He seems to have just gone this way.

Dalan jahan
Bangladesh
O9/10/2017

Comment is about Poem (blog)

Original item by Dalan Jahan

Linton Hercules

Mon 9th Oct 2017 22:18

Comments and advice gratefully received Cynthia.

All feedback welcomed on my work too πŸ˜ƒ

Comment is about Linton Hercules (poet profile)

Original item by Linton Hercules

Profile image

AM Cash

Mon 9th Oct 2017 21:44

Sometimes you need space x

Comment is about I Failed, Miserably (blog)

Original item by Michaela Sheldon

Sarina Aviles

Mon 9th Oct 2017 20:20

I can feel the pain and the sadness in your poem. Much like I am going through at the moment. I wish I could make my pain go away. 😒

Comment is about White popcorn skies / the nowhere poems (blog)

Original item by david patrick simon

Profile image

Greg Freeman

Mon 9th Oct 2017 19:29

It was indeed good to see you all at Marsden, Nigel - and your special T-shirt, too. Thanks to you all for coming - and good to hear one of John's poster poems, too. Pictures should be up here some time tomorrow. Greg

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Mon 9th Oct 2017 16:18

An alternative title could have been "Home and Away", since, to adapt an old phrase "Home and away, it is the
best sort of this style of writing".

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Wolfgar Miere

Mon 9th Oct 2017 15:08

Wonderfully lyrical writing Graham, cobwebs as trampolines and leaves as sheltering school children, great images.

I do enjoy autumn though, watching everything get stripped away.

David.

Comment is about Rime with Reasons (blog)

Original item by Graham Sherwood

Profile image

Nigel Astell

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:56

I hope - - -

Paul and Lynda can make it tonight with a van full of Lynda's new book!

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Nigel Astell

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:53

Good to see

The Stockport Crowd

Myself
Martin
Andy N
A M Cash and
Dorinda

at the Marsden Poetry Jam

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:46

Great poem, worthy winner. Fab - look forward to much more of your work Hannah.

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:44

Hey Hannah

Many thanks for your comments on my last two poems. Yeh, they are both about him. I expect I'll be writing a few more before the year is out, too.

Comment is about Hannah Collins (poet profile)

Original item by Hannah Collins

Profile image

Nigel Astell

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:40

Taken your advice Ray and put in bloodpath instead

Comment is about Traumatised (blog)

Original item by Nigel Astell

Profile image

Nigel Astell

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:19

Normal Comes Calling

Nights draw in
sleep comes natural
your mind awakes
it takes you
to somewhere else
unlimited thoughts travel
imagine how you
feel when normal
then comes calling.

The theme for tonight is - - - strange dreams

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Wolfgar Miere

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:10

Lovely.

Comment is about southdown road (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

patricia Hughes

Mon 9th Oct 2017 13:07

This is a clever and wonderful poem,takes me back to my childhood too.

Comment is about southdown road (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Profile image

Colin Hill

Mon 9th Oct 2017 11:52

well done Hannah on POTW. I have enjoyed reading your poetry since you joined Wol back in August I believe. It has also been a pleasure to see you develop your own individual writing style and themes. I sincerely hope that journey will continue to develop and expand in the future both here on WoL and in other literary areas. All the very best, Colin.

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

patricia Hughes

Mon 9th Oct 2017 10:56

Beautiful.

Comment is about The Traveller (blog)

Original item by Hannah Collins

Profile image

Connorlannes

Mon 9th Oct 2017 10:48

Really lovely imagery in this piece. I am indeed a fan!

Comment is about Dubai (blog)

Original item by jan oskar hansen

Profile image

Colin Hill

Mon 9th Oct 2017 10:42

excellent Hannah.

Comment is about Mail Order Bride (blog)

Original item by Hannah Collins

Profile image

Colin Hill

Mon 9th Oct 2017 10:29

you've just described a whole chunk of my childhood Martin - especially the hiding behind the sofa during Dr Who. Mum was usually doing the ironing. Col.

Comment is about southdown road (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Profile image

Colin Hill

Mon 9th Oct 2017 09:47

a future folly to man's greed and lust for riches and power. I would rather read your poetry Jan than visit Dubai.

Comment is about Dubai (blog)

Original item by jan oskar hansen

Profile image

Wolfgar Miere

Mon 9th Oct 2017 08:27

Great stuff Ray,

I really like "While fur frets in the burrow"

I think there is so much going on in here, from the hunter and the hunted point of veiw.

I can very much relate to the first two verses and the almost worshipful treatment of instruments of the kill, this is a very real emotion which portrays a reliance on something for which survival is dependent, some men even give their weapons a name, their relationship becomes that complex (and possibly unhealthily distorted)

I realize your piece depicts the hunting of game, but it seems to be a very malleable metaphor.

The last verse relates the almost resigned inevitability of the prey, that come the "Hunters Moon" they will fall foul.

Really good, and a great reading.

David.

Comment is about HUNTERS' MOON (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Profile image

Wolfgar Miere

Mon 9th Oct 2017 08:17

Congratulations Hannah,

I enjoyed this when I first read it, a worthy POTW.

David.

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

lynn hahn

Mon 9th Oct 2017 02:41

I am so glad you left a comment my blog. I love your story telling style. Gonna spend some time reading more.

Comment is about The Traveller (blog)

Original item by Hannah Collins

Profile image

lynn hahn

Mon 9th Oct 2017 02:36

This is so wonderful. Life can be so decided for some. You captured this reality so well.

Comment is about Mail Order Bride (blog)

Original item by Hannah Collins

Profile image

lynn hahn

Mon 9th Oct 2017 02:32

Glad you were able to gleam something from the poem. I always learn useful information from our Write Out Loud family

Comment is about OPEN UMBRELLA (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

Profile image

Martin Elder

Sun 8th Oct 2017 22:59

This certainly has more than a hint of a romantic feel about it, and who wouldn't want to be following the traveller. It really sounds like fun. great poem Hannah. I was drawn in from the start. Congratulations on POTW.

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

kJ Walker

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:36

Congratulations on POTW. I loved this especially the ending.it left me wondering who was the biggest romancer.
Cheers Kevin

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

keith jeffries

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:22

Martin, Thank you for commenting on my poem Depression. It is much appreciated. Keith

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Profile image

keith jeffries

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:20

Jon, Thanking for you kind comments on my latest poem Depression. Much appreciated. Keith

Comment is about Jon Darby (poet profile)

Original item by Jon Darby

Profile image

Hannah Collins

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:16

I found this poem so moving.
I fear for the creatures because they know it all.
A great work.

Comment is about HUNTERS' MOON (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Profile image

Hannah Collins

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:08

When I read it I thought it might be about your father. Poignant, lovely.

Comment is about Tai Chi (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Profile image

Hannah Collins

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:06

I found this very moving. Beautiful writing.

Hannah

Comment is about No Sacrifice (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Profile image

Hannah Collins

Sun 8th Oct 2017 20:50

Really enjoyed. Every line has something to offer.

Comment is about OPEN UMBRELLA (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

Profile image

Hannah Collins

Sun 8th Oct 2017 20:43

I have never met any mail order brides or their husbands but I saw a small paragraph in a newspaper about it and somehow the poem came to me.
Thanks so much for the comments.

Comment is about Mail Order Bride (blog)

Original item by Hannah Collins

patricia Hughes

Sun 8th Oct 2017 20:42

I love it,tackles a difficult subject in style.

Comment is about Mail Order Bride (blog)

Original item by Hannah Collins

DESMOND CHILDS

Sun 8th Oct 2017 20:00

Thank you Cynthia and Martin for your kind and encouraging comments on my poem, your comments are always appreciated. Thanks.

Comment is about The Pinnacle of it all (blog)

Original item by DESMOND CHILDS

Profile image

carol falaki

Sun 8th Oct 2017 19:57

I'm delighted and looking forward to reading the poem posters πŸ˜ƒ

Comment is about Marsden's Poster Poems competition - here are the winners! (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

kJ Walker

Sun 8th Oct 2017 19:22

Hi Hannah, thanks for taking the time to comment on my latest bit of nonsense. Glad you enjoyed it
Cheers Kevin

Comment is about Hannah Collins (poet profile)

Original item by Hannah Collins

More Comments

◄ Prev123 … 209210211212213 … 224 … 448 … 672 … 896 … 1120 … 1344 … 1568 … 1792 … 2016 … 223722382239Next ►

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message