I've never seen the lady who I'm guessing still provides the microwaved meals but I can only imagine the photo is an accurate likeness.
When I fart
Most guys think it’s a disgrace
But you thought it was funny when I shoved them in your face
You’d grade them on a scale of 1-10
And I’d argue that I deserved more
Then you’d blast one back in my direction
Trying to better my score
Your van had a Duke’s of Hazard horn
You had Pat and Mick on your cassette recorder
We’d do donoughts in your Sierra and go to strip clubs together
And you were hung like a donkey with a growth disorder
We’d drink beer, go to gigs and spend days in bed
I’d never been this happy before
But once everything was sacrificed coz we couldn’t be apart
The only sign that you cared was a fist through the door
Home town pressures, a necessity to please
To stupid to see someone else’s opportune
120 miles coz she couldn’t start her car
Who the fuck wears highlighter on a Sunday afternoon?
I never cared if she won, you threw it all away
I walked off and turned to French Vermouth
Underestimated, but I’d never be that weak
Damage was done regardless of the truth
You come round for your stuff
And I take the piss
No sympathy for your tears.
But we had it so good…..
So I pull you in for a kiss
I don’t think I care
It doesn’t enter my head
Until I feel tears streaming down your face whilst we’re in bed.
The last night I woke up still in your grip
You’re happy back together until I need you there
Found suddenly broken, in a desperate mess
But it’s too much commitment for you to care
We don’t laugh anymore
And you’re void of compassion
The last 6 months held together purely by passion.
We’ve gone our separate ways
Everyone’s a winner
Fake tan on your bed sheets
And a microwaved meal for your Christmas dinner