First you have milk, then curds and whey
Leave a while longer…..then cheese; Hurray!
The one sure thing to make me elated
Be it sliced, cubed, crumbled or grated
Yes, when it comes to cheese I get very excited
Like when Gary Hooper scores for Scunthorpe United
I’m going to have cheese cake on my wedding day
But best of all is when the photographer will say:
‘Everyone say cheese’ and I will go mental!
My husband will be like ‘Could you have shouted any louder?’
But I won’t hear him coz I’ll be yelling ‘Rockfort, Camembert,
And I am definitely going to wear a veil
So I can hide behind it and nibble on Wenslydale
Last night I updated my status on Twitter
‘I’m microwaving cheese inside a wholemeal Pitta’
Then I’m going to a fancy dress party – come as a famous cheese
It’s at the Hilton
My friend is going as Edam Maria, I’m going as Paris Stilton.
You can eat it with ease
Can be enjoyed by GPs and Amputees
Asylum seekers and Refugees
You can eat whilst listening to Fur Elise,
The Bee Gees or Alicia Keys
Or whilst watching a film starring actor John Cleese
You can snack whist hanging from a circus trapeze
Or wearing your favourite dungarees
Nibble whilst strolling along Salford Quays,
Holidaying in the
Or even the luxurious
Oh cheese, cheese, it’s the bees knees
More valuable than Oprah Winfreys golf tees
Better for you than any vitamin by Seven Seas
A bigger thrill than having a sneeze,
Watching several grand prixs
Or seeing John Prescott doing a strip tease.
Cheese smells finer than the finest bottom breeze
Makes you happier than monkeys in trees
Goes with any of Ainsley’s recipes
And comforts you after any number of catastrophes.
But limit your intake before catching some Z’s
And avoid whilst trying out new settees
Unless you go armed with a can of Frebreeze
But offer my
I’m going to hoist annual cheddar Jamborees
With free Bousin and no entry fees
My Mum Denise thinks I have a disease
But I do not care – I just love cheese.