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Progress

Today I made progress

In a different sort of way

It wasn’t real spectacular

But it was a taxing day.

I did a load of laundry

And neglected all my naps,

I sat and did some paperwork

And limited my snacks.

I went outside again today,

To you it isn’t hard,

But I was awful pleased this time:

I got past my front yard.

I didn’t let the hours pass

Without a trifling...

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They

When I built my road
I had all the help in the world
But it was up to me to lay the bricks
And it was that part, that sticks.
I'd pick a stone up in my hand to lay it,
Felt like all I did was betray
Myself and my own destiny,
I'd lay it where They told me.
Then one day I guess I had some sort of grand epiphany
The bricks laid down so gently when I focused on me
And a path began to form,
...

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Letter to the Guys That Try To Date Me

Hey, how about you fucking stop
Turning back the clock
Like daylight savings up in here
And can you stop calling this a queer issue,
We've been here as long as you guys, thank you
And while we're on the subject of phew,
That guy has some thinking to do
How about we talk about this view?
Got safety glass in front of us
Like, we can't see thru the giant printed COVER UP
Guys this is border...

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Corporation Screw You

I wish I had the words
I only got about a third
Of the ones you deserve.
This is our Earth
Not the hero we needed
But the one we succeeded in destroying
A bunch of government corporations enjoying the fruits
Of our labor and dues
Somehow the ones who end up screwed
Pull your weight
Or there's those holy golden gates.
Work makes you free
They preach
Yesteryear or today,
The message st...

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Victim

Quietly they glisten
And ask you to listen
Eyes full of tears and salt water,
Mourning the life she sought after 
Destroyed before her a city razed
Nothing escapes her weary gaze
She tells her tale
Notice how it feels stale
Like old forgotten women
Denied their ticket to your heaven
There's a strange satisfaction
The need to help, to contribute
The need to condescend as well as we do
...

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The Future Has Been Cancelled

Due to fiscal constraints the future has been canceled

We understand many of you had plans, though

And we’re all for refunding our customers, ergo

You’ll receive in the mail compensation

Accurate of course to your personal station

You see due to a breach of our ethics clause

I can’t give you the details, of course--

We’ve wrapped up production on this round of humanity

It t...

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Love it or Leave it

Ready or not?

Seems like a luxury none of us got

As they let us down to rot

That abominable thought

Hate crimes, social justice,

We all can’t seem to get enough of it

Spreading lies in the media

Manufacturing hysteria

Can you see yourself watching

The news on channel four

While SWAT and ICE

And other innocuous words

Knock down your immigrant neighbor’s door

A...

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It wasn’t easy getting here

The street signs looked a little queer

And altogether directions

didn’t seem to me to be very clear

So I steered myself in the direction of help

And resigned myself to a hike because well

What else am I gonna do with myself?

Put my head up on a shelf

The words within me beckoned

And so I went, I reckon

Because old forgotten rhyme

Within ...

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Dating a Friend

There was darkness and then there was you

Though to be sure the light never moved

A warm hearth at the end of a blizzard

A hole in my heart I’d patch over haphazard

Drove me to find you in my soul

Until I filled that gaping hole

With your infinite love and hope

You gave me just enough rope

To pull myself out of abyss

With your own version of selflessness

 

You wait...

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New Boyfriend

Things to Know About Your New Girlfriend

 

I hog the covers when I don’t mean to

I’m pretty chill about the things you do

My hair is never done

Nor my makeup ever worn

And my clothes are messy

I wake up gassy

And my teeth could use a fix

But babe you know

I’ve got room to grow

And we can find our mix

 

I’m never wrong ‘cept when I am,

But point that out an...

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"I Know What Comfort Is"

He said “I know what comfort is”

“It’s the thing that sits

Inside your heart

And makes nary a peep”

And then I began to weep.

He said “I know how pain feels more,
“The closing of all opened doors

Tearing at you desperate for more

Clawing, gnawing, at your hope

Until you feel yourself begin to choke”

 

I said to him “dear let’s not pretend

You and death aren’t more...

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Generations

We’re fed up with this kind of behavior

This toxic ass sludge,

Capitalist favor

It’s the new generation,

A part again of creation

Going back before time,

Let me sink it in with rhyme

We ain’t got the time

To be turning your mess

Of a world on a dime

I cannot stress enough

You ain’t that tough

Ruining the economy

Acting like it was harder for you than it is fo...

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Hurts The Same Way

Men get uptight at women who say

“He railed and bailed,

hit it and quit it”

The man who comes knocking

All sweet at your door rocking

On his toes like he’s excited

She can’t quite pinpoint why she’s so nervous

What’s devastating to her is,

And me is,

Is that we sort of mutually agreed

As human beings

Not to lie to one another

So when you come over

With wine a...

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Death

“Risk is what it means to be human!” she cries.

Her words fall on deaf ears like lies

Why oh why

Would we want the surprise

Of dying in an age

Where death is no gilded cage?

Why would we need a society

In which there is more tragedy?

A deathless life

Akin to strife

She chuckles wryly,

Intones calmly

“Death is what gives meaning to living

And in expiring

Fi...

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Feminism

Feminism builds on needs!
Tell me something, are you freed
From all society’s greed
If you don’t think a woman
Is the same as a human
Where have you been hurt?
Don’t make me your just desserts
Looking at me like something tasty
Feels like your arguments are a little hasty to judge me
Like I’m not somebody
With hopes and dreams and feelings
Why you wiping down that glass ceiling
Sister ...

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Love

She takes her hand off of the door

Doesn’t quite know what all of this is for

Am I going to never want more

She’s silent, mouth and mind

This woman ever kind

And thinks without meaning to

“My life is gone,

All I knew”

And though she fidgets in high heeled shoes

Her hands move to the knob,

Her heart begins to throb

She feels all weak in the knees

Can someone stop...

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Tiny

“Tiny”

This is the word that comes to his mind

He blots at his weary eyes

Almost a year,

He feels a sense of triumph,

A sense of loss,

Of belonging to a cause

To keep this tiny thing from harm

Her eyes are blue

So blue you wouldn’t believe that hue

And he finds that the only thing he can do

Is cry

Asking a million times why

 

Her palms close around his pin...

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Polite Kind

I hope you find I said to him
What you no longer search for
Some peace of mind,
An end to war
I hope that you find,
All this and more,
Along your road so bare.

He smiled and said
I hope you'll be
As honest with others
As you are with me. 
I'll hope you'll fight
For what is wrong
And come into the light.

For I am perhaps a dreamer,
My head held in the clouds,
But his disease is ...

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What Beauty Wrought

One day I looked in the mirror
I think to try and see
My reflection clearer 
She stared back at me and I said
This girl is now dead.

I looked at all the things I hated
Things I made and used
And understated 
I pointed my heart at the glass-

And shot.

They say things only get slower
The day you end your life. 
I found the time still to cower
In front of my aching
Weary soul

T...

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Why I'm Angry

Jesus played you like a harp

Never known a demon quite as sharp

Could you turn it up a notch?

Can’t hear you on your soap box

Wish I heard his love coming from

Coming from you

Should you find a lie of course

Can you read it from atop your high horse?

Biblical buoyancy,

Does it float or does it sink, you see?

What if you would just stop

Stop and hear the truth

Sh...

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The Things We Don't Talk About

How do you know where a story lies
Seems like newspapers fall like flies
Telling people all those lies
Bout blacks Hispanics Asians
What the fuck is this creation
I don’t know what you’ve been told!
This shits getting pretty old!
Tell me once more bout the tragedy
Bout the killing of the kennedys 
How it’s all the same old story
Tell me why we’re still ignoring
Home grown Americans
Let...

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Goodbye Lord

Its been a hard road

You helped me build.

Im grateful.

You got me through

Some dark times.

I thought you a light,

A torch in the darkness,

But really

It was my magic.

My fire.

My light.

 

They told me you were watching

As though it was a comfort.

And I tried

To feel helped

Held

I tried so hard

To give you the love

I was told you created

B...

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Godreligionatheism

$200/month

$200/mo
Is what they think
My suffering is worth
And I'm grateful.

$200/mo 
Pays the bills
Buys me food,
With a little
Left over,
For fun.

My fiancé 
Gets $700/mo
For his own pain.
$700 + $200 = $900
Dollars to pay
To live.

We fixed the heat,
We bought to eat,
And cigarettes 
Exist again.

From a month where
We didn't know
How it was
Going to happen,
To a month
Wher...

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He Saw

I don't know why you love me,
For I barely love myself.
I don't understand the look in your eyes,
Or the shelf you place me on.

What have I done to inspire
Your love with burning radiance?
And what have I done to deserve,
Your understanding?

You saw me
When others thought they had.
You looked at me
And saw who I see
And I was terrified,
Because I don't like her.
But you did.

Y...

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Living With Roommates

Wake up,
Winter morning,
Gorgeous;
And then it hits.

Budget
Disability
Rent
AppointmentsGroceriesHygiene--

Breathe.
It's okay,
Especially when
It's not. 

I do my ritual.
I like my ritual.
My ritual calms me.
I say my mantra:
"This too shall pass"
And inside I cry out,
Outside I smile.

Your discomfort 
Is palpable.
What indeed
Would you do
Differently?

Anxiety and ...

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Imitation and Perception

I languish in lack
Abound in absence
And my visage 
Reflects yours
If anything at all.
Imitation is flattery,
Say those 
Who know nothing
Of either.
Perhaps,
My emotionless adoration
Exists in your vision,
Beautifully speculative and subjective.

Who exists in terms of self?
Without an other,
Familiarity is absurd.
Who can know
What he always sees?
In this way,
I present myself...

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BPDimitationperception

Psychiatric Lingo

How can I explain to you,
A sunset through dead trees?
Yet,
You want my symptoms 
Explained to you
In words.

If I could see red,
And you only grey,
How could I explain vibrancy?
You call it mania.
Sir, 
You don't understand.

You say
"Everyone gets anxious"
But I think you mean "nervous"?
I feel like
It'd be more treatable
By modern medicine,
If it happened to
Rich
White
Me...

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Bipolarpsychiatrypsychiatrists

Colors Of Public Assistance

Grey
Is the color
Of power.
You can see this:
Office buildings are grey.
Cubicles are grey. 
Money, two letters off.

White is the color of peace,
And hope, 
And the color of the linoleum 
Where they take pieces of you
And put it on a card.

Brown
Is the faces 
Of most I see.
It's interesting how color
Affects so much.

Black, 
Their smiles. 
The screen,
The air.

I think,
...

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Disabilityfood stampsDSHSEBT

Department of Social and Health Services

Sitting in a plastic chair,
Waiting for a person
To tell me
If I can afford
This month

How did I
Get here?
I had dreams.
I had goals. 
And so did
Everyone in this room.

The wait
Kills
The screams of bored children
Pop my peace
And I wonder
Why?
It's a simple enough question.

Why me?
Why here? 
Why now?
God,
I suppose. 
His laughter feels
Like nails
Pounded into nails...

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DisabilityDSHSbipolar

Disability Timeline pt. 2

War is waged
With soldiers
But mostly money.
Isn't that
What old men
With both
Say?

I fight the World War of my life,
And yet,
And Yet.
I see neither approach 
On the horizon 
And I wonder
How long
I'll keep looking.

Your promises mean nothing,
Because that
Is what I've got
To show for them.

I implore,
Don't get my hopes up
Again this time.
Say "no" if you want.
Accord...

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Disabilitygovernment assistancebipolar

Disability Timeline pt. 1

Ask for help,
They say
With quiet judgmental rebuke
So I ask
And then I plead
And deafness
Greets his friend
Stagnation.

Today
Means tomorrow.
Tomorrow,
Next week.
I have yet to see
What
"Within the year"
Means,
And it's been Two.

Each letter,
A careful trapeze,
Am I too sick?
Not sick enough?
The war waged on 
In my body.
They promised me
Soldiers
"Within the year."

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mental illnessdisabilitygovernment assistancebipolar

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