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David Gabriel Caplan

Updated: Wed, 6 Feb 2019 01:36 am

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I have lived and worked in Scotland, Australia and, for the past 35 years in Canterbury, South East England. I write what I like to read, and therefore read what I like to write; but no matter how much 'serious' material I write I inevitably swing back to humour as my first and greatest love. Limericks give me the most pleasure and scope, and also the excuse for a certain amount of naughtiness as is expected in this genre. But rest assured anything I submit on this site will be comparatively tame, at least by my standards! Having grown up on a self-inflicted diet of Edward Lear, Ogden Nash & Lewis Carroll, I love to explore the bounds of madness in some of my writings, and have also readily taken to Flash Fiction as an alternative means of expression.


NATIONAL LOTTERY Suppose I won the lottery And suddenly were rich It would change my wife forever; I'd divorce the nagging bitch All my old acquaintances I hadn't seen for years Would be suddenly 'just passing' And invite me out for beers And what about that bastard Who borrowed my new drill At last he would return it And explain he'd been quite ill My family would rally Distant cousins, unknown nieces Spouting sentimental bullshit About picking up the pieces I'd be offered fast-track entry Through the gates of Heaven's door If I gave the church my money I could live for evermore I would find it so amusing How me.....a piece of trash Could cause the world around me To degrade itself for cash. ---------------------------

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

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Marianne May

Mon 20th Jul 2020 05:38

Hello! Salamat sa comment sa akong tula nga, "Salom". Do you happen to be Bisaya? Nice meeting you in this platform! All the best in your artistry!


Wed 20th Feb 2019 14:03

Enjoyed your clever response to "Men Without Women".
So true. Especially enjoyed the Toilet Seat remark.

For some reason I am not getting my notifications from
WOL so I did not know you responded. Sorry bout that.

<Deleted User> (21422)

Fri 1st Feb 2019 19:01

Nice to meet you David...wonderful comment..."here is probably there". I loved National Lottery-spot on!?


Wed 30th Jan 2019 04:09

anyone named Gabriel
must have
Angelic daughters.

Big Sal

Fri 25th Jan 2019 20:37

You’re one of the only consistent limerick writers on the site, David, and humoUr is always a welcome sight.?

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Shuchi Batra

Wed 23rd Jan 2019 05:42

Oh my god.. your sample is one of the best depiction of the world where we all live in..


Mon 21st Jan 2019 11:44

Love hides within our families
its whereabouts might surprise us,
when we find love, don't let it go
the prize is loving kindness.

<Deleted User> (18980)

Fri 18th Jan 2019 09:37


I apologise, I just realised my comment should have said ' as long as it's not funnier than mine'. Judging from your Lottery sample I have good competition.

Thank you for your comment on my profile re Westonbirt Arboretum. It started as a serious piece about the beauty of the trees but I couldn't resist some observational humour (with 2 U's).

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Dave Caplan

Thu 17th Jan 2019 13:25

Thank you for your support guys.

That was a bit of a sideways compliment Brian, but I accept it in good spirit.

I agree...we do need more humour.
The challenge will be to take it to the limit without openly offending anyone.

<Deleted User> (18980)

Thu 17th Jan 2019 00:06

David - we need more humour on this site. Bring it on, as it's not funnier than my stuff!

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