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Congratulations

Martha married a millionaire instead of marrying me.

Many would say she got it right, and I would quite agree,

I wouldn't dream of dissing her or taking her to task,

I, too, would marry a millionaire if only one would ask.

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What A Dick

Two highwaymen on Hampstead Heath

   Compared their evening's lot:

"I robbed a royal," said the first,

   "And this is what I got:

A thousand pounds, a golden ring,

   An antique silver cup..."

To which the second smiled and said,

   "That's great...Now stick 'em up."

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