Poetry Blog by branwell kent
My grandad was struck by a lightening bolt,
My grandma consumed by a whale,
My Great Uncle Barney died in a tsunami,
My Aunt Danielle in a gale.
My daddy was hit by a meteorite
My mummy went missing at sea,
My brother and sister were killed by a twister,
I wonder what's waiting for me.
An alien abducted my wife and her mother
And three or four first cousins too,
Thursday 18th July 2019 10:44 pm
My wife and I experiment
To keep that loving feeling,
Last night we did it upside down
While hanging from a ceiling.
My uncle came in halfway through
And caught us in flagrante,
"That looks like fun," he commented,
"I'll try it with your Auntie."
Wednesday 17th July 2019 10:49 am
One evening in winter we walked in the snow,
It seemed so romantic, but wouldn't you know,
The next day I found her confined to her bed,
With rheumatic fever and cold in the head.
For six weeks she lay on the threshold of death
A pale sickly figure all gasping for breath,
And though she recovered for me it was worse
For when she was better she married her nurse.
Tuesday 16th July 2019 11:22 am
Mummy, my leg hurts,
Can I have some sweets?
I don't want to go to grandma's house,
She smells of cupboards.
Why isn't Auntie May married,
Is it because of her nose?
Billy Jenkins has one,
And he's dyslexic.
I went in the bath yesterday
Go and look at the soap.
It was an accident,
I was trying to mend it.
He's not my real dad.
Sunday 14th July 2019 11:52 am
Last night the nightingale woke me,
Singing alone on a branch of a tree
In the garden so dark and so dim;
His heavenly voice seemed to come from up high,
And his message of love permeated the sky,
And I have to admit I'd a tear in my eye
When I shot him.
Saturday 13th July 2019 7:38 pm
I'm tired of being friendly
I'm tired of being polite
I'm tired of people liking me
And thinking I'm all right...
I wanna be a rottweiler.
I'm tired of being innocuous
I'm tired of being small
I'm tired of being frightening
To nobody at all...
I wanna be a rottweiler.
I'm tired of being an idiot
I'm tired of being a wuss
I'm tired of being some...
Friday 12th July 2019 10:37 pm
Her eyes are scary monsters
Gorging on my helplessness,
No matter where I run to
They're always right behind.
Others never see these beasts,
She hides them within shadows,
Then brings them out to taunt me
Whenever we're alone.
I can feel them when we kiss,
Rejoicing in their power,
Controlling me completely
As I once hoped they might.
Eyes I first...
Friday 12th July 2019 5:05 pm
Wam-bam, clatter-clatter, splish-splash, dong;
Ha-ha, oops-a-daisy, cling-clang-clong;
Wibble-wobble, wibble-wobble, more, more, more...
What in God's name are they doing next door?
Friday 12th July 2019 2:20 am
Thursday 11th July 2019 7:20 pm
Bloody, Dreadful, Shite.
Thursday 11th July 2019 12:46 am
Long for her aggressively
Think of her obsessively
Watch her possessively
Imagine her terrifically.
Search for her endlessly
Bump into her knowingly
Smile at her desperately
Leave her depressingly.
Gaze at her longingly
Stare at her fixatedly
Frown on her objectively
Dream of her disgustingly.
Know her only passingly
With her only fleetingly...
Wednesday 10th July 2019 4:28 pm
My father is the brother of my stepson,
My sister is my nephew's second wife,
My daughter is the auntie of my grandad,
I have a very complicated life.
My in-laws are the children of my cousin,
My grandson is the husband of my gran,
My uncle is the uncle of my uncle,
I think this means I'm married to my nan.
Tuesday 9th July 2019 9:49 pm
We never walked this way together,
We never sat down here to chat,
We never spoke of future plans,
Of hopes and dreams and things like that.
We never caught the last bus home,
We never shared a cigarette,
We never kissed at your front door...
In fact we never even met.
But if we had, oh if we had,
Who knows what things we could've done,
Monday 8th July 2019 7:53 pm
There are currently twenty-three men hitchhiking across America
Seventeen climbing Mount Everest
Twelve trekking to the South Pole
Nine doing missionary work in Papua New Guinea
Six sailing down the Orinoco river
Four living with undiscovered African tribes
Two hacking through the Brazilian rain forests
And one playing the piano in a Peruvian brothel,
All trying desperately...
Saturday 6th July 2019 10:14 pm