Poetry Blog by branwell kent
Do.RoThy on Silly Rhyme (8 days ago)
Do.RoThy on Another Bad Joke (11 days ago)
Candy came from Kathmandu
Caught a cold and said achoo,
Mandy came from Mogadishu
Caught a cold and said atishoo
When you catch a cold are you
Katachoo or Mogatishoo?
Monday 30th March 2020 7:47 pm
Although her name is Lotty
I call my girlfriend Spotty
My pals all think I'm dotty
But they've not seen her botty.
Sunday 29th March 2020 3:29 am
My giddy aunt is getting giddier and giddier,
Her sillyness is simply incessant;
She's constantly sniggling and wriggling and giggling,
What I need is an auntie-depressant.
Thursday 26th March 2020 2:10 am
Today I'm going nowhere, today I'm staying in,
Today I'm going to dedicate to drinking lots of gin;
It may not make me happy, it may not make me wise,
And yet I'm going to drink it till it comes out of my eyes.
Tuesday 24th March 2020 11:47 pm
There must be something left to say,
Some little tale to tell,
About Miss Charlotte April May
And how she used to smell.
From fully fifty feet away
The stench was overpowering,
Because Miss Charlotte April May
Had never thought of showering.
And she was only eight as well,
A fact that made us sick,
She must've worked as hard as hell
Tuesday 24th March 2020 3:02 am
I once went to bed with a girl from Brazil
Who said I was clumsy and lacking in skill,
But after much practice I tried her again
And second time round I got ten out of ten.
Saturday 21st March 2020 2:37 am
I found a giant oyster and inside a giant pearl,
I had it made into a brooch and gave it to my girl,
She thanked me for it kindly, but by five o' clock that day
She'd pawned it at a pawn shop and had pissed off to LA.
Sunday 15th March 2020 10:45 pm
Tessa wears crocodile shoes,
Tessa wears crocodile shirts,
Tessa wears crocodile trousers and jackets
And crocodile stockings and skirts,
Yes, you can say what you like about Tessa,
But you have to admit she's a snappy dresser.
Thursday 12th March 2020 2:36 am
When a hippo meets a hippo
Coming through the swamp,
The other creatures stand well back
In case they start to romp.
For when they do the mud and slime
Go flying through the air,
When a hippo meets a hippo
You're better off elsewhere.
Wednesday 11th March 2020 1:18 am
Tonight you and I are entirely alone,
I've unplugged the telly and switched off the phone,
We're nice and secluded away from the rabble...
So what do you say to some serious Scrabble?
Monday 9th March 2020 2:08 am
The grave was overgrown with grass, it lacked a single flower,
We tended it and tidied it, it took almost an hour.
We tarried then to think of him while he was still alive,
And then we did a salsa and a samba and a jive.
Sunday 8th March 2020 12:24 am
My octopus didn't come home last night,
I don't know where he could be;
He only popped out for a packet of fags
And some kippers for his tea.
I'm sure there's a sensible reason for it,
Something dull and banal,
Yet even so I've been to the police,
And asked them to drag the canal.
Thursday 5th March 2020 11:20 pm
Once when I was younger,
I accidentally kicked my football
Through the bathroom winder.
My mother went ballistic,
And after slapping me about a bit,
Said if I ever did it again
She'd have my guts for garters.
I thought she was exaggerating,
Using the threat of extreme force as a deterrent;
But I was wrong;
For sure enough, the next time it happened,
Saturday 22nd February 2020 1:14 am
The Earth is slowly dying and we're the ones to blame,
We curse the politicians, but we're really all the same.
We need to stop polluting, we need to do it soon,
Either that or find a way of living on the moon.
Friday 21st February 2020 2:18 am
I've brought you this dead canary.
Who's your favourite serial killer?
I'm wearing the knickers I stole off your washing line.
Guess where I've had your name tattooed.
Sunday 16th February 2020 12:25 am
Having broken both legs when he fell down the stairs
He crawled his way back to the top of the flight,
Then fell down again in pretend unawares,
And as he was hoping this made them all right.
Friday 24th January 2020 12:42 am
We met in a nightclub, I bought her some whisky,
And asked if she'd like to come back to my boat.
She smiled and her answer was funny and frisky:
"All right, you can have me, I'll go get my coat."
We'd only just done when the cock started crowing,
And up jumped the woman and sadly did say:
"I love you, my dear, but I'll have to be going,
For like it or not it's my wedding...
Friday 10th January 2020 2:18 am