McGregor was a genius
  But now alas he's dead,
Bedazzled by his brilliance
  He quickly lost his head.
He built himself a teleport
  And travelled back in time
To when the Earth was entering
  It's Mesozoic prime.

And there he saw fantastic sights
  Of pre-historic life,
But in his lust for evidence
  To take back to his wife,
He proved himself an idiot
  Like many of his sex
By p...

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I woke up this morning at quarter to nine
And made myself breakfast of waffles and wine,
This unhealthy mixture went straight to my head
So after six helpings I went back to bed.

I woke up again at a quarter to three
And after my lunch it was time for my tea
And after my tea I was feeling so ill
I spent the night crying and writing a will. 
 

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Her name was Susannah, we went to the fair,

And while on the waltzers I puked in her hair;

She cried like a baby and all I could do

Was say I was sorry and buy her shampoo.

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