I met her one night at a nightclub

      And ended up walking her home,

She asked what I thought of her haircut

     I said it could do with a comb.

 

She invited me in for a coffee

      I said 'Have you got any tea?'

She told me she fancied a cuddle

      And plonked herself down on my knee.

 

She nuzzled my neck on the sofa

      And started caressing my thigh,

I got up and moved to an armchair,

      She looked like she wanted to cry.

 

She said she got terribly lonely

      And bored in that big empty flat,

I said she should buy a canary

     Or rabbit or something like that.

 

She said she'd been dumped by her husband

      Without doing anything wrong,

"We'd only been married a fortnight..."

      I wondered what took him so long.

 

She said "Do you find me attractive?

       D'you think I'm a good looking girl?"

And while I was trying to answer

      She got up and gave me a twirl.

 

She lifted her skirts as she shimmied

      She looked to have powerful thighs,

She started removing her stockings,

      I wanted to poke out my eyes.

 

She led me upstairs to the bedroom

      And said we were gonna have fun;

I lay back and thought about England

      Until it was over and done.

 

I woke up at six in the morning

      And sneakily snook out the door,

I felt like a fool and a fondling..

      Yet quickly returned for some more.