Depression (Remove filter)
The Inner Feeling
The inner feeling
In which they are hidden
There’s no power of healing
The things that are forbidden
A little, tiny, very small
Peeking through the wall
Short, not very tall
The most whimsical of us all
Power we cannot see
The ghastly things are up for a walk
The prisoners are we
Suddenly we’re not able to talk
A dried fiend,
A false end,
At...
Saturday 13th April 2024 10:27 am
The Loss
Every loss is felt
Just as a ripple is spelt in water
Ever decreasing, calming asunder
A clock ticks in a house even emptier than before
The dark lingers in a hall still and sure
The cat rules now
Wondering why and how
Water weeps from a pungent wound
Never to be cleaned but to neglect and fester
Such a thought no beautiful sight could hinder
Leaving the los...
Monday 8th April 2024 3:25 pm
My Love Is For Me, Not For You
Roses are red, violets are blue,
When I think of your love for me, I lose love for you.
What does my love feel like to me?
Being surrounded by beauty that only I can see.
Hidden behind my smile is someone fragile, flawed, and easily broken.
I showed you all of my healed scars and one by one you ripped them back open.
Again and again, my mind retreats to happier days while I ...
Wednesday 27th March 2024 1:03 am
Coming To Grips
Sitting here thinking, another week gone.
Another small increment moved from the fire.
It feels like it does when you’re just waking up,
half grasping consciousness, half in the mire.
When you’re not quite sure if it’s real or a dream,
the one where no matter your efforts you fail.
In total frustration you claw just to move,
and in the struggle, you miss the details
...
Thursday 21st March 2024 1:22 am
unachievable dreams
didn't wake up with the intention of being bad
I don't know why there's a pit in my stomach when no one is dead
run around my house and verbally beat up my dad
the screams sound bloodshed
he says, "there's so much you wanna do"
and i obvert my eyes
wait around for a mental break-through
and make unachievable plans doing the highs
i wanna be a savior
and get th...
Friday 15th March 2024 2:39 am
In Case I Lose This Fight
I almost killed myself tonight,
I ran out of reasons to live and reasons to fight.
Each day is a battle just to survive,
How is it that I am expected to thrive?
The loneliness in this house is overbearing,
I feel like a fool for even caring.
All I need is to be loved and feel wanted,
But my reality is the opposite while my brain is haunted.
Nothing I say or do wil...
Friday 15th March 2024 1:43 am
When The Darkness Falls
It’s colder now and seems somehow
more empty than before.
I wish I’d known the future then,
and what it held in store.
No longer is there will of heart
to venture form these walls,
and so I sit alone inside…
when the darkness falls.
Each stone hand crafted for the cause
to block away the pain.
The mortar mixed to guarantee
no feeling will remain.
A mist ens...
Friday 15th March 2024 1:24 am
chronic pain
i'm sick of doing the best i can
because it isn't ever enough
if I can't be good,
what's the point of being here at all?
I never sleep well anymore
even though I tell the doctors I sleep fine
I just stare at the ceiling
and live through the lives of others
sit in class with an ache behind my eyes
I can't even tell if the pain is real
excedrin can only do so much
and I think my toler...
Thursday 14th March 2024 1:25 pm
supporting the economy
my worth is always fluctuating
you talk to me like I'm worth nothing
but when it's past nine pm I'm priceless
I can't tell if I'm a commodity
you told me you liked me out of the blue
it was almost out of impulse
like that pretty journal, you bought but never used
both are just things that are nice to have around
you didn't need to do that
you had plenty of things at home stuffed in yo...
Thursday 14th March 2024 1:23 pm
the moon and the sun
you told me i’d only fail
laugh at my hopes and dreams
you act as if i’m frail
there’s often reoccurring themes
you know i’m not dumb
it’s just that you don’t care
so don’t ask me for gum
and don’t you give me that stare
i don’t know how we ever got along
we’re opposites like the moon and the sun
you probably think you’re the moon, but i think that you’re...
Thursday 14th March 2024 1:21 pm
Freefall
Sat through another non-eventful free fall through the ceiling
while trying hard to feel something despite the way I'm feeling.
Trying hard to find my way back to the time of when
I didn't have to sit in this damn chair time and again.
For every day now seems a bit more like the day before.
Just like a cross between a treadmill and revolving door,
where weeks and m...
Monday 26th February 2024 2:14 am
Exit
It’s finally the day to come,
blood mixing in.
Flows like a river
through oceans of sin.
Long past the point
where the numbness was new.
Long past believing
that anything’s true.
Steel against flint,
only flash in this night.
Desperate to see
but it only ignites,
the gasoline soaked
twisted rags in my soul.
No way to stop it
and nowhere t...
Saturday 24th February 2024 1:32 am
Days End
The days don’t seem to give a damn,
they march in step of time.
They stare ahead with eyes of steel
while never breaking line.
They torture me with disregard,
they tread upon my soul.
They seem so unaware I’m here,
they simply come and go.
I once believed the day would come,
I hoped that it would give
the thing that I was searching for -
a reason I should...
Friday 23rd February 2024 1:44 am
Lightening
Lightening burns and strains my mind
Freezes my thoughts like a photo
Open to think again
Alive again to life ever after
For now at least
Lifting me from depressions hungry jaw
Sunday 4th February 2024 9:11 am
Sorrow's Bounty
In a world of plenty, where joy should reign,
A soul wanders lost, drowning in pain.
He has it all, or so it seems,
Yet inside, he's adrift in shattered dreams.
Possessions many, but feelings in drought,
Tears concealed, smiles worn throughout.
Once in a while, breaks down unseen,
In the quiet ache, where joy's been.
Everything's there, yet nothing to hold,
A ...
Friday 19th January 2024 5:35 pm
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