I almost killed myself tonight,

I ran out of reasons to live and reasons to fight.

Each day is a battle just to survive,

How is it that I am expected to thrive?

 

The loneliness in this house is overbearing,

I feel like a fool for even caring.

All I need is to be loved and feel wanted,

But my reality is the opposite while my brain is haunted.

 

Nothing I say or do will ever be enough,

But still, I try to act like I’m tough…deep down inside I think we both know it’s a bluff.

I feel broken and empty all of the time,

I’m screaming from the top of my lungs how I feel but all that’s heard is “I’m fine”.

 

With no end in sight, I don’t know what else to do,

I feel like life is giving me the final “fuck you”.

Is this all I will ever be?

The girl who craves things that will never come to be.

 

Maybe it’s me and I don’t deserve meaningful connection.

My life is moving in the wrong direction.

I have never been loved, that much is clear,

What the fuck am I even doing here?

 

I can’t take this life anymore constantly coming in last,

Maybe I’ll matter more once I become a memory in the past.

I sit here alone holding the broken pieces of myself together on this dark night,

Please know that I tried…in case I lose this fight.