we all have bits a tad imperfect,

(dark specs hide my killer squint)

other embarassments of mine

so many they're not fit to print

Beverley liked to hum during sex,,

she kept goats and preferred oral,

tight bandages on both big toes,

her orgasms were strictly choral

middle-aged smoke screens hide

natural signs of wear and tear,

I left Sue's bewigged head alon...

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Pam's very nice so far as she goes

The kind of looks I usually admire

A few quid in the bank is a help

Yet she doesn't set my heart on fire

Nancy on the other hand is poor

She's no Monroe or Lana Turner

More a down-market Bette Davis

A plain Jane, and a bit of a yearner

Just how do you weigh up women?

What should go into the scales?

Why can't I be spontaneou...

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