Pam's very nice so far as she goes

The kind of looks I usually admire

A few quid in the bank is a help

Yet she doesn't set my heart on fire

Nancy on the other hand is poor

She's no Monroe or Lana Turner

More a down-market Bette Davis

A plain Jane, and a bit of a yearner

Just how do you weigh up women?

What should go into the scales?

Why can't I be spontaneou...

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