dubito ergo sum (Remove filter)

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Drinking In October

It occurred to me

While I was drinking one night in October--

Sometimes I am happy

And sometimes I am sober

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dubito ergo sum

Ill Desire

I am made of ill desire

As the sun is made of fire

And the flames are getting higher

One day I will burn

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dubito ergo sum

Witnesses of Truth

We quarrel o'er which principles are sane

Amid the constant threat of fleeting youth

We argue and deliberate in vain

The dead alone are witnesses of truth

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dubito ergo sum

Guilty

I know I'm not allowed to want you back

But I'm afraid I'm guilty of the crime--

There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

To feel you in my arms just one more time

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dubito ergo sumunrequited love

Freedom

So much is freedom asking of the free

Discernment and accountability

It isn't all we make it out to be--

     Surely not for all it costed me

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dubito ergo sum

The Library

Are mysteries e'en knowable?

Can questions ask themselves?

Will they continue to collect

Like dust upon these shelves?

 

Alone inside this labyrinth

I search the texts for clues--

I bet the quest is worth my time

And every time, I lose

 

With all the sense of idiots

But with the skill of dancers--

So many books have authors penned,

And still so little answers

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dubito ergo sum

Sunsets & Birdsong

It seems as though I wake up

Just to dwell on what is wrong--

Even though each morning

     Without fail--begins with birdsong--

 

I loathe the night when it comes,

For there's day to squander yet!

Even though the ev'ning brings

     Each time--a perfect sunset--

 

The world has routine beauty;

Ev'ry morrow guarantees it--

But I'm the sorry fool who

     In h...

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dubito ergo sumNature

The Willow Tree

it is a strange thing to return home

after years living away

the sun still sets on the same hills

     and rises on the fields the next day

 

the only thing that ever changes

it seems--is this willow tree

in the old backyard

     planted by my father and me

 

the crops mature, but then they're reaped

the grass gets tall, but father mows

the people here are still...

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dubito ergo sumNature

The Mysteries Within Us

I find it strange how much we know

About the universe--

How--in comparison--our knowledge of ourselves

Is worse

 

We have explored the heavens

We have walked upon the moon--

You'd think we'd solve the mysteries within us

Just as soon

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dubito ergo sum

War

I've seen it in my father's eyes

after too many drinks

I've seen its blight in everything

he does and says and thinks

 

          I've seen it in the bloody nose

          that stained my mother's blouse

          I've seen it waged in silence

          in this god-forsaken house

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dubito ergo sum

Face-To-Face

My finest words come out

When I confront things face-to-face;

The more I pencil candidly,

                          The less I will erase

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dubito ergo sum

Challenges

In this life,

You will face challenges

That seem hopeless

And you'll wonder

If--it can be done

How--it can be done

Why--it should be done

But at the end of the day,

The question is not if

Or how, or why--

The question is:

Will you try?

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dubito ergo sum

Medicine

For many kinds of pain

At least there's medicine to take--

To ease the suffering

                To lessen the ache--

 

So why--for heaven's sake--

Of all the cures we've learned to make--

Why is there yet no remedy

                       For heartbreak?

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dubito ergo sum

My Girlfriend

My girlfriend

Is pretty but

She has an attitude

Whenever

I talk to her

She's in a crappy mood

If I had a dime

For every time

She gave me sass

I would buy

A bus ticket

And leave her sorry ass

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dubito ergo sum

Old Wounds

Some years ago you broke my happy heart

Tonight we're kissing in the pouring rain

I thought that opening old wounds would hurt

But living with the scars was the true pain

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dubito ergo sumunrequited love

Innocence Sold

innocence sold

for money

when your purity

was the true gold

   (it's funny

   wouldn't you say?)

how you go and give yourself away

to insecurity

day after day

   and it never gets old

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dubito ergo sum

There Is a Happiness

There is a happiness I covet much

A happiness I see but cannot touch

A happiness placed just beyond my grasp

Which reaching takes more skill than I possess

 

          There is a happiness, without a doubt

          A fortune I can only dream about

          An affluence that causes me to hate

          The lucky few whom God chooses to bless

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dubito ergo sum

I Am Poor

I am poor in more ways

Than I can afford to count

 

I seek acknowledgement

In no judicious amount

 

I hear but don't heed

I lack what I need

 

I require blood

And I bleed

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dubito ergo sum

Lack of Confidence

Should God be real despite unample proof

I'll stand for Him before I stand aloof

If heaven's gates refuse me when I die

Let not my lack of confidence be why

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dubito ergo sum

A Goodbye Unsaid

I waited shy for fear of saying wrong

But never did I fear I'd wait too long

 

                    I must go now to see that other place

                    Where secrets of millennia erase

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dubito ergo sum

The Moment of Death

My breathing slows, my vision blurs

My courage starts to wane--

What happens next is owed and just

And in a way--humane

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dubito ergo sum

Good Times

   Good times

Weren't meant to last--

     I see it now

        For what it was--

Happiness belongs in the past--

   It just does

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dubito ergo sum

Notice (Haiku)

Rain sustains us all

But we don't stop to notice;

We just let it fall.

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dubito ergo sumRain

Belief Is Like a Bird That Nests

Belief is like a bird that nests--

It picks no random tree;

It searches for the truest ones

And chooses carefully

 

The branches of familiar groves

Regard you as a friend--

But on a faith in rotting wood

Doth countenance depend--

 

It seems I have a choice to make

But neither one enthralls--

To diagnose a fleeting truth

That once appears--appalls

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dubito ergo sum

The Roaring Rain Outside

the

roaring rain

          outside--

     the distant duckpond

     gloom

 

the

angry clouds

          sit low

     inexorable--

     blue.

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dubito ergo sumRain

More Important Things

I write when umbrellas open

When I am late for work

When the building is on fire

When the dog needs food

When the party is over

When I should really get moving

 

I write when there are more important things

And there are always always always

More important things--

 

Living in this world

And choosing to write poetry

Makes about as much sense as

Sitting on ...

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dubito ergo sum

Birds

Birds are too familiar

With the freedom they have found

For them to give a flying fuck

What happens on the ground

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dubito ergo sum

The Haze

I imagine living in the haze

          Between dreaming and waking--

The soft noise on the telephone

            Just before she speaks

 

The blank paper beneath the last words of a book

          The snow visible by streetlamps

The world sleeping under the cosmic shroud

            Where starlight leaks

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dubito ergo sum

Until

For most things in life

We either were, or we will

But for the things that we are

     We are only until

 

We fly until we fall

We laugh until we cry

We love until we lose

     We live until we die

 

'Until' is a sad word--

     It signifies temporariness

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dubito ergo sum

The Mirror

We live in a misleading world

Surrounded by disguise;

The mirror is the only thing

That never ever lies

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dubito ergo sum

Talent

Sometimes people have the nerve

To call me 'talented'

And it really pisses me off

 

Talent does not exist

It is a word invented by the untalented

Because they don't understand hard work

 

Skills are earned

With blood and sweat;

No one is born with them

 

The talented are practiced

The untalented are lazy

It's as simple as that

 

Stop blaming fate for...

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dubito ergo sum

Driving

I come alive

     in stray moments--

 

I am driving

Past the neon city light

Listening to noise

Disappearing into night

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dubito ergo sum

I Wish To Be Forgotten

People are obsessed with memory

When loved ones die, we keep their photos

Even after their time,

We try so hard to keep things alive

And it makes me wonder

If it was ever willed by the universe

That we should remember anything at all.

I don't think permanence is natural

I don't want to be remembered forever

I only want to exist

As nature would have it

But I didn't ...

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dubito ergo sum

Some Call It Depression

Some call it 'depression' but

It doesn't help to name it;

I always knew I had it

But at some point I became it

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depressiondubito ergo sum

When I Can't Find the Words

Sometimes I'm unable to write

     And it scares me

Because when I can't find the words

     It feels like I'm dying

 

So I have to remind myself

     That they will come back soon

That it's okay to be silent for a while--

     The key is just to stop trying

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dubito ergo sum

Window Drawing

I remember riding on the train

    chugging slowly through the winter rain

 

                      drawing pictures in the fog

                        on the car windows

 

         through the

              wooden shades

 

 and the nice old lady

     gave me a broken candy cane

 

                          why are candy canes

                            always...

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dubito ergo sum

Motherly Love

In the fifth grade, I told my teacher a lie

     And she called my mother

And I remember thinking,

     'I'm gonna die'

 

When I arrived home

     Mother gave me that look--

The one that says,

     'You're about to get a licking'

 

And I got it,

     And it hurt bad,

And when it was over

     She told me:

 

'Boy, if I ever catch you

     Telling anot...

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dubito ergo sum

My Poetry Is Not Dark

One time in school

I was writing a poem about

How I wanted to drown

 

A teacher saw it

And had the nerve to tell me

She thought my poetry was too dark

 

I couldn't help but laugh

If only she could see the things

That I choose NOT to write down

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dubito ergo sum

The Things We Fall

We fall in love

We fall asleep

We fall ill

The things we fall

Are not of our free will

 

We fall apart

We fall quiet

We fall prey

The things we fall

Are hard for us to say

 

We fall down

We fall short

We fall behind

The things we fall

Are what define mankind

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dubito ergo sum

Dying Stars

I know it's vain to wish upon a star

But don't our wishes make us who we are?

It's weird to think how old the starlight is

Took years and years and then some to arrive

Sometimes I wonder if the stars I see

Are in the sky above me still alive

I knew a star once

She shone in my dark nights

Guided me when I was lost

My wish was to know her

But like many distant stars

...

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dubito ergo sum

Laken

I once knew a girl

Named Laken

Who kissed me in the first grade

I've never met another girl named Laken

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dubito ergo sum

My Roommate

My roommate's kinda fat

     But he doesn't seem to care

He eats and eats and eats

     Then falls asleep in his chair

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dubito ergo sum

Congratulations

To be an artist

Is a painful thing

Because your success

Depends on your suffering

 

To be an artist

Means to hurt professionally.

Should the suffering cease,

Art becomes impossible

 

People think art takes trying

But trying is wrong.

Art is not the product of effort

Nor is it inspired by choice

 

If you have to try

You're not an artist.

True art i...

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dubito ergo sum

Half My Brain

Half my brain says,

'Life is 10% circumstance

And 90% attitude'

 

The other half says,

'Stop trying to analyze things--

It's pointless'

 

So I stop thinking

And keep drinking

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dubito ergo sum

My Thoughts

My head is not a safe place to be

Unfortunately I cannot leave

I am not my body

I am not my words or my actions

Or my success or failure

Or my hopes or dreams

I am only my thoughts

And the true measure of my happiness

Is how well I manage to hide from them

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dubito ergo sum

Going

You are going soon

Going far away

 

Your bags are in the car

Your plane leaves at dawn

 

But you tell me 'don't be sad'

You are still here today

 

And that's the thing about going--

It means you're not yet gone

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dubito ergo sumpain

Inside Some Books

Inside some books

Are spaces bigger than this world

Yet one can fit in your hands

Hundreds can fit on a shelf

You can get lost in them

Or you can find yourself

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dubito ergo sum

A Moment With True Friends

I'd rather have a moment with true friends

Than live a lonely life that never ends

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dubito ergo sumfriendship

Where the Pines Bend

My home

Is where the pines bend

 

Where the snow flies

And the wolf hides

 

Where the light dies

And the sky weeps

 

Where the bravest of beasts all flee

But I come out to see

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dubito ergo sumNature

Flies

Flies aren't worthy of their name

There are lots of things that fly

And we chose this wingèd nuisance why?

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dubito ergo sum

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