Desmond, a philosophical poetic observation on Life with a clear and simple message. Nice work. Tentatively suggest / upon our lives then to ordain/ just to help the rhythm, and re-work the last line. I can't stress enough this is only a suggestion and you may disagree. I think it's more useful to offer constructive criticism than just say nice things all the time. The poem's great - these observations are just about the rhythm.
Comment is about Fates do fall as rain (blog)
Original item by DESMOND CHILDS
Jon, rather than just saying nice things, my honest opinion of this is that there's more work to be done. It seems to require another stanza to give the reader a better idea of what it's about and bring the piece into focus. But as I've just added a bit more to one of my old poems possibly that's the mind-set I'm in at the moment. Poetry is so subjective alas.
John S.
Comment is about Colour - Gold (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
? Gratitude Gaëtane ?
Comment is about Sisters of The Fatherless Tribe (blog)
Original item by Mama Lola
Thank you for your poems and your support, Damon.
Comment is about Mikey V Kinsey (poet profile)
Original item by Mikey V Kinsey
Mae your exchange between Diogenes and Alexander, I used in verse on this site a while ago. It has great resonance and worthy of greater usage.
Tommy
Comment is about The Madman and The Lunatic (blog)
Original item by Mae Foreman
Sun 14th Jul 2019 22:29
Don't argue with bear
but be beware-
it growls and bites
anytime, anywhere!
?
Comment is about Don Matthews (poet profile)
Original item by Don Matthews
Sun 14th Jul 2019 22:20
Thanks Keith.
How's the dog?
for that matter,
how are You?
wink.
Comment is about keith jeffries (poet profile)
Original item by keith jeffries
Sun 14th Jul 2019 22:18
Thanks Martin.
note: Sweaters marked down this week at Walmart!
wink wink
Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)
Original item by Martin Elder
Thanks Rachel. I will have to read the article again as my head is sore and I'm suffering from writing simmilar stuff! please see below.
Higg's Boson
by Tommy Carroll
(125 GeV/c2)
The Boson that is Higgs,
hides when it jiggs,
with an end nearly instant
and the unification of quantum chromodynamics still quite distant
the search for the particle,
was often quite farcical
the technology involved
in the cost that's financial
unlike the thing itself
is massively substantial.
Words and lmage Tommy Carroll
Comment is about Christianity (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Thank you all for your kind words
Comment is about Cait Abbott (poet profile)
Original item by Cait Abbott
No critique of your writing dear Jason! Just the truth that bugs me sometimes, like the deprivation of the "living the dream" for instance! Everybody should have the right to live the dream! ?
Loved the poem in its entirety! One of your best!
x.x.
Mae
Comment is about Atrophy (blog)
Original item by Jason Bayliss
RUN-OUT!!
Comment is about Cricket World Cup. England vs Australia. Sunday England vs NZ. And the Winner Is........ (blog)
Original item by Don Matthews
Thank you so much dear Jason! ? The Dragon spoke wisely once more.
Personally I prefer what the reader reads in my poems over what I write in them! I keep exploiting that poor ingenious, empathetic, insightful reader! And I thank them! Jason, I won't lie, you are one of the best readers of my poems! But on this one all three thrived! Mindy, Martin and as Jason, thank you for your interpretation, it makes my piece a whole lot better than it was when I wrote it!
So thank you all?
Mae
Comment is about The Madman and The Lunatic (blog)
Original item by Mae Foreman
Hi Mart, Purgatory is a place of punishment before being sent through the pearly gates whereas Limbo is a place for those who have died before being Christened but have not sinned. ?
Comment is about Christianity and other myths (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
As ever, I love it Mae. I love for all the reasons already mentioned and also for what it represents within us all.
They say the reader takes from each poem what they will and the thing this speaks of to me, deep down, is the eternal battle within us all between desire and doubt, between lust and fear.
On one hand you have the proud, powerful, bold young emperor, full of potential and blissful ignorance, and on the other you have the, "Wise," old man, who sees the deep consequences of the actions of all and some could argue, is so scared of them, seeks safety by living in an urn.
One, Unfettered by his ignorance and one immobilised by his wisdom.
To me, at a deep level, this is Yin and Yang. The dragons of chaos and order, creativeness and control.
There is a line, a sweet spot between them where they would perfectly complement each other, and much like in each of our lives, it is the eternal, internal balance we seek between the will to fulfill desire and the wisdom to know whether we should or not.
Very clever.
Loved it Mae,
J. x
Comment is about The Madman and The Lunatic (blog)
Original item by Mae Foreman
That's what I love about the group of questions we call professionally, "5WH." When questioning a person, they're the questions we are all aiming at because they're the, "Open," questions, the ones you can't answer with, "Yes," or, "No." And therefore, have to answer, in more detail, (sorry, straying into work there?).
For those that may not know, "5WH," is shorthand for, "Who. What. Where. When. Why. How."
Questions that force you to answer in detail and therefore, pretty much the beginning of all the really, "Big," questions.
Lisa, as ever, you nailed it and demonstrated one of the things I love about your writing, a sharp, incisive mind.
J. x
Comment is about 5WH - Short Poem Challenge (in the Discussions section) (blog)
Original item by Lisa C Bassignani
Dorothy,
I think the discussion area is the place for this topic. This poem came from a thread there. The 5WH challenge. A new discussion can be started if you choose. I just felt compelled to post it here because of all the religious and anti religious stuff that has been put up lately.
Lisa
Comment is about 5WH - Short Poem Challenge (in the Discussions section) (blog)
Original item by Lisa C Bassignani
Philipos
Sun 14th Jul 2019 17:34
Thank you for commenting on Reaching Out Cynthia. Have added a brief lament about it on my recent page. Blessings. P. ?
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thank you so much Martin! I'm happy to hear you picked up on that! Both characters are controversial , I think, in actuality and in my poem. Maybe the man knows less than he thinks, maybe more than a hot blooded youth who wants to prove himself... I like the idea of non resolution and a bitter, non glorious frustrating ending!
Thank you again?
Mae
Comment is about The Madman and The Lunatic (blog)
Original item by Mae Foreman
I like to keep my options open and I encourage others to the same. I certainly mean no offense to any one. We can all politely agree to disagree. There are a lot of poems here about "God" and a lot of poems about "no God". Wars are forever being waged over differences of beliefs. That, to me, makes none of them the "right one." What I wrote are questions we all ask.
Comment is about 5WH - Short Poem Challenge (in the Discussions section) (blog)
Original item by Lisa C Bassignani
I presume by Limbo you mean purgatory that half way house created man. A very adroit observation as always Tommy.
Nice one mate
Comment is about Christianity and other myths (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
I thought this was about Alexander the great as I read it through. I particularly love the fourth stanza which poses the question what does man know. What indeed does he know. I would suggest a lot less than he thinks.
I love the way you have written this Mae with almost a fairy tale like quality to it or perhaps that of an ancient poem.
Very nice
Comment is about The Madman and The Lunatic (blog)
Original item by Mae Foreman
Fabulous poem T W . I love these poems that are considerate in their process, making the reader think about what is being said rather than just a random bunch of words.
Nice one
Comment is about lost and forgotten souls (blog)
Original item by Twilbury Wist
It often makes me wonder if in twenty years time all those with tattoos may reconsider their move into skin art. Particularly those who bear the names of those who are no longer loved ones
Good poem D.K.
Comment is about Fame & Twitter (blog)
Original item by d.knape
Lisa, you will have to embark on a search in order to find the answers which will begin with yourself. Thank you for this. Keith
Comment is about 5WH - Short Poem Challenge (in the Discussions section) (blog)
Original item by Lisa C Bassignani
I absolutely love it particularly the line about grandma smelling of cupboards. I agree with Cynthia in that final line
Nice one
Comment is about Please Please Please Please Please Please (blog)
Original item by branwell kent
I suspect we all play the dance at different times of our life. Some more frequently than others. If only!
Nice one Bob
Comment is about Dancing Check to Check (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
Big questions Lisa. Do you think you might have found the answer or are you still looking.
Nice one
Comment is about 5WH - Short Poem Challenge (in the Discussions section) (blog)
Original item by Lisa C Bassignani
<Deleted User> (22158)
Sun 14th Jul 2019 14:41
This is a great poem that colorfully explains a dance I know too well. Nice one.
Comment is about Dancing Check to Check (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
Great subject - excellent treatment. Age 30 is a bit harsh - sheesh! But maybe not in your specified target arena.
Comment is about Fame & Twitter (blog)
Original item by d.knape
Brilliant. The final line is a knock-out punch.
Comment is about Please Please Please Please Please Please (blog)
Original item by branwell kent
Fantastic! Superb title.
Comment is about Dancing Check to Check (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
Thanks Mindy. Good idea. I have compromised and adjusted accordingly.?
Comment is about Look What They’ve Done to My Town Ma (Homage or apology to Melanie Safka) (blog)
Original item by J R Harris
Me again, ten years later! And look at Kealan, and Janet and Dave! They were such fine friends to share a new 'enterprise' with.
I'm so glad you're still 'on board' too. Where have ten years gone?
Comment is about Christianity and other myths (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Wonderful.
I actually have a recent poem that refers to 'Hiawatha' also. It's finished, but I haven't yet decided to share. Coincidence sometimes boggles my mind! Who else has specifically used 'Hiawatha'! Anywhere! Let alone on WOL! I'm not too sure about using it now. It might look copy-cat. And you know me - HORRORS!
As a teenager, I loved that poem! It's ingrained in my very soul.
How did you bring up 2009? How did I not respond way back then?
Comment is about The Love Making Of Hiawatha (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
To win a game of Limbo
Seek heavenly reward
You gotta stoop real bloody low
And backward go, not forward
Who said anything 'bout religion ?
Comment is about Christianity and other myths (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Holly celebs must wail and weep
To see their fortunes sag
They used to bounce in front so proud
But now sag like a bag
Yes indeed, they wail and weep
"I spent a fortune on them"
Now look what they've gone done to me
No longer shining gems......
Comment is about Fame & Twitter (blog)
Original item by d.knape
cheers keith! always nice to hear my work resonates with people. thats why we write i think
Comment is about kiss boom (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Probably best that I don't discuss my attitude towards religion, but much like Ricky Gervais once said in an interview, "There are a couple of thousand God's around the world and if you're a Christian, for example, you don't believe in 1,999 of them. Well I don't believe in just one more."
J. ?
Comment is about Christianity and other myths (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Limbo..that's the game where you see how low you can go, right?
That's ONE reason why I'm not Catholic anymore!
There's not enough space here to get into all the other reasons.
Rubbish
Comment is about Christianity and other myths (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Stu,
profound with each line a gem.
Thanks, Keith
Comment is about kiss boom (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
d.k.,
The inadequate chase after fame, glitter and twitter. It is all transitory and ends in tears. Good poem.
Thanks
Keith
Comment is about Fame & Twitter (blog)
Original item by d.knape
Philipos
Sun 14th Jul 2019 12:03
Well done Branwell. A very interesting input that. P. ?
Comment is about Please Please Please Please Please Please (blog)
Original item by branwell kent
A bear seeking rare's not a humourous thing
(Sorry dk, humorous is how it should be spelt)
Was apologising to you for my not spelling it 'humorous'
Comment is about d.knape (poet profile)
Original item by d.knape
elPintor
Sun 14th Jul 2019 10:56
What a clever little device, Tommy, that's got me tilting my head )
https://www.sciencealert.com/if-you-thought-quantum-mechanics-was-weird-wait-til-you-check-out-entangled-time?utm_source=pocket-newtab&fbclid=IwAR2PtivP9BQMGIzu5jOB4VCDSYtJomUFAa1c71nWMV6r3dUT8Q6YzyLQ7xE
..just in case you're interested.
Rachel
Comment is about Christianity (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Welcome back JR.
It's called 'progress'......so sad
Comment is about Look What They’ve Done to My Town Ma (Homage or apology to Melanie Safka) (blog)
Original item by J R Harris
I think there's more to this than meets the eye.....
Comment is about 32 Days of Pain (blog)
Original item by Sognare Gloire
elPintor
Mon 15th Jul 2019 10:18
Any number of discussions could spring up from what you've written, here--such are the undercurrents that pervade these ideas.
It is very sad to see the resurgence of outright bigotry to such a degree that the fringe no longer feel the need to hide its face.
I'm posting a link--again )
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuPZr68T_fg
I realize others may not share an interest, but it's hard to resist the opportunity to push a little light through the channel you've opened with your post.
Thanks John,
Rachel
Comment is about TRUMPETRY (blog)
Original item by John Coopey