Hahaha... indeed, you should not be drinking it ; )

Comment is about I can't have my cornflakes and Uri Gellar has dissapeared (blog)

Crazy funny : )

Comment is about Jamima (blog)

Hmmm... tu cries bien aussi ; )

Comment is about these things I despise (blog)

Incroyable...
tu sais vraiment comment raconter une histoire...

Comment is about Vietnam Diary (blog)

Not sure i can totally understand this poem - only surmise but perhaps you didn't really want it understood.

Comment is about the limpets kiss (blog)

These lines really stood out for me...
et je comprends tout à fait...

'I’m not that simple.
proud to be complicated
quite proud limited people quite understand
about my quite straight poetry'

Comment is about superb world of positivity (blog)

Ooh là là... j'aime ça aussi Pate...
j'ai plein de choses à dire, mais pas écrit dans un message...

Comment is about wrong side of thirty (blog)

I absolutely love this Pete... very perceptive.

Comment is about Concorde over St Catherine s Dock 1981 (blog)

J'aime beaucoup ce poème... surtout ces lignes:

'yet strength asked I push forward
into the dapples ahead
as though my purpose
was to seek out
rather than recluse
I felt cured
and recalled the words that said
to occupy myself living
to fix thought on growth
to be honest on the oath of who I am
despite the ones
that distract
wasting effort
trying to derail
for the light she sends,
like always,
prevails.

I surface refreshed
hoping the moment will endure
I look out for the storms

take her warmth with me.'

Très inspirant...

Comment is about swimming underwater (blog)

Hi - I'm just following Francine round - she normally leads me to a good one! This is brilliant - brilliance is close to insanity or so they say - do you have any experience? Have heard it live but enjoyed it more on this recording cos it was slower and I could hear the words better - no background noise so i could appreciate the work and the cleverness of it all. Live it was another half funny/half serious rant. On this recording you can appreciate the full sadness and horror of it.
Isobel

Comment is about Dreams of leaving (audio version with rant) (blog)

I remember reading this as well... you are amazing...

Comment is about my ten minutes is up (audio only) (blog)

I read this earlier, and listening to you Pete just blows me away...
so much passion in your delivery... made me cry...

Comment is about Dreams of leaving (audio version with rant) (blog)

this would work well as a performance poem for the obvious anger and aggression that it seems to be an outlet for.
for the written version you could possible alienate some readers with he swearing, have you thought of using other words that imply the same, this way we could prob know what you mean and let our minds internally 'swear'

sometimes raw aggression is necessary to reflect the real you but you could scare people away from what are honest insights into your frustration.

You are dealing with the authority figure and I think you could tap into this. All of us im sure have had problems with authority figures, I certainly have, so by tapping into the the elements we all encounter you could get more people on board.

the reference to 'school bully and slimming world' begins a story into possible child hood traumas and again, this could be explored.

Its one of those poems (I feel) that goes clearer when performed (not that it aint clear)

the power aspect, you could expand on this.

Just some ideas

Comment is about First Taste of Power (blog)

Thanks all. I like the way most of the women focused on the incongruity of the last three lines to the rest of the poem, and most of the men just thought: Oh-ho! Dangerous nutter alert!"

Nabila, I'm way too influenced by early Eliot with regard to form - but this one's jerky even by that measure, but I'm not sure I'd change it. The stanzas are effectively paragraphs dedicated to separate points and the rhythms there, but is feathered in places. The line breaks are just wherever my little finger decided to hit a carriage return.

Malcolm - well spotted on the typo but I would have to consult Lynne Truss!

Comment is about If we did (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

This is really very good. Very much enjoyed it.

"and if I had the heavens’ embroidered cloths,

they’d be riddled with the heavens’s most rapacious moths"

These two lines are excellent. Did we really have to have the second 's' in heaven in the second line?

Comment is about If we did (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

Hi Dermot,
This was an alarmingly uncomfortable read - and I mean that in a good way, as I presume that's what your intention was! I liked (if that's the right expression) the way, without actually describing him, it painted a portrait of "Barry" in my mind. I'm glad you chose that name for your protagonist (no offence intended to any Barry reading this) as it would be the last on my list of alternative names for myself - simply because to me it screams nondescript! (Not that Anthony is anything extraordinary.) Clever and thought-provoking.
Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about If we did (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

p.s. I like your cat - he looks extremely smug and contented! (In the way that only cats seem to able to manage!)

Comment is about the limpets kiss (blog)

Hi Pete,

I'm not sure I've got this one fully yet - it seems like a poem that needs to sink in and be revisited a few times to fully appreciate. I loved the title - very apt and definitely drew me in. There are some cracking phrases and images here:

"finding difficulty in go away words"


"he gathered courage together
and touched without an invite"

"told him that
in school was shown
about holes and pegs
unaware of latents who beg
for something different"

and the closing lines:

"his ascending hands
soft as any mothers, looking sad
like a first son leaving home."

add a very delicate and poignant tenderness. I will return to re-read this several times.

Regards,

A.E.

Comment is about the limpets kiss (blog)

Yes the ending is very shocking and makes you wince and want to turn away. I'm glad you explained yourself Dermot - it is so much clearer now. This is a very masculine poem - a woman would have written about the same theme so differently and not worried about letting people read her soul. You obviously do so we shouldn't pry any further. An excellent poem which really works although it also disturbs.

Comment is about If we did (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

Love this!

Comment is about in peru feeling melancholy (blog)

Original item by Emma Roy- Williams

Hi there,
Not seen you on here for a while - been busy?
Thanks for your comments on 'Muse...', glad you liked it.
Cx

Comment is about Joshua Van-Cook (poet profile)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

Beautiful poem Joshua... I especially like the last verse:

'As through the lush national parks we go,
Some relief when you need the quick-turning world to slow,
Don't give a shrug or dismissive sigh,
No one cares for, those for whom,
Flaws are all, So lonesome, they reside in the gloom,
This is life'

I often go to the beach or park for inspiration... to get away and feel free...

Comment is about This is Life (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

Thanks Dan,
Again this was a poem of spontenaiety, I just wrote it as it came to mind. I was quite happy with it, glad to know it met your seal of approval too.

Comment is about This is Life (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

There's good comic imagery in this ... the 'ever changing moods' of relationships, eh? Nice one Isobel.

Comment is about Mixer Tap Madness (blog)

Original item by Isobel

'bliss was him tucked up
domestic pup, she shall train
he shall fit in and feign
as he plays her into shape'

Oh, eck. Maybe this is what marriage is all about. Pete, I have a great pic that I took through a cake shop window in Chester, of marzipan newlyweds. The couple have incredible expressions on their faces. It would make a good illustration for this poem. If I can work out how to access Facebook I'll post it to ye.

Comment is about the wedding men (blog)

very touching and truthful

Comment is about The Leather Belt (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Wonderful....I have something very similar : )

Comment is about The Leather Belt (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

We need to remind ourselves that POTM is the choice of ONE person. I have seen and analysed many poems like the above in anthologies....nothing wrong with being simple : )

From one publishing house to another, choice, interest, style , readership and quality varies and from my conversations with editors in these organisations, I have learned that it is all very subjective. So, when I receive a rejection slip, it often means that my poem was not suitable (in terms of taste).

The same is happening here. We do not really have any objective points to follow in order to choose a poem - which opens it up to criticism, which is not a bad thing, but it is the choice of ONE individual.

I still see the poem as a simple observation. Also, the question of what constitutes a poem has been raised ......what is poetry these days anyway? It is so diverse in terms of style now and that is the richness of contemporary writing. Look at John Cooper Clarke, a highly skilled performer whose work is very simple yet carries a strong rhythm and rhyme and he is often criticised for being less of a page poet. For those who admire him, he is a sociological commentator and much needed in the poetry world....

The verses of the Quran are poetic and I use it to form the basis of some of my poems - I see that as poetry ( and I know I will be criticised for saying that by fundamentalists : )


This, for me is a glimpse of a world I do not know, so has enriched my thoughts, not greatly, but delicately..

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Well, what a fuss, eh? Brill!
Thank you, Julia, for choosing this simple, inoffensive :-) poem. Thanks, too, to Alex and all your critics and supporters for this absolutely fascinating set of exchanges.
Mal, your thoughts about translation are worthy of a separate debate, topical, too, as we have just had a small grnat to do some translation work with francophone African migrants. I was advised some time ago to consider whether Apollinaire was better in the French and whether translation does it justice. It doesn't, but then I can only read Yehuda Amichai and Neruda in translation, and am grateful that I can.
Moxy, I agree with you that Alex's <<...reworking of Apollinaire changed a delicate observational poem into something voyeuristic and lecherous>>
Yes, I liked it for that, too.
I am sorry if Alex feels criticised by some self-confessed-naif critique, but it has sparked some real quality debate, innit?
Poem of the month? Well, we could have an audience vote and have debates about how democratic it is to get all your online friends to vote for you, thus skewing the result.
But, sure let's have a debate about how (or if, Peter) we continue with POTM, or of the week as some have asked.
Thank you, for your kind comments, Malcolm, about my ditty. A bit Tourettish, really.
Enjoy!

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

I agree with Christine, Winston and Malpoet. Anthony's response was obviously considered, passionate, genuine and not intended to be rude. It just wasn't the response you expected or hoped for. As for Anthony's 'poetic education' which you mock as clumsy and inaccurate phrasing, may I respecfully point out that Hesiod wrote at great length about 'poetic education.' Besides, it was blatantly obvious what he meant and your derision seems a tad supercilious. For my part I found your reworking of Apollinaire changed a delicate observational poem into something voyeuristic and lecherous.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Sounds full of life, in a weird way. Like it is very much real to you, all that is said within the poem.

I don't think you are getting married, do you know somebody that is? The reason I ask is because it looks like it was written because you are either thinking about a friend or observing them in the lead-up to a wedding. Or maybe it is forcing you to question things for yourself?

Anyway, I enjoyed it and think you are very good.

Comment is about the wedding men (blog)

I have read Anthony Emmerson's review again. It is not rude. There is some mild irony in it, but primarily it is doing the poem the justice of detailed analysis by a poet who is interested in poetry and cares about what they are reading and writing.

The fact that a poem is published by a magazine is something for which the poet can reasonably feel pride and I would not want to take that away, but I am afraid that it means nothing other than that the editor considers it suitable content for their publication. It does not validate the poem in any way.

Now that I have been told the relationship to Apollinaire it diminishes the poem for me and I am afraid there is no other way of saying it, but it diminishes the author for engaging in such an exercise.

I have explained a number of times on this site why I do not feel that translation of poetry works well or serves much purpose. What is worse, and why I have criticised Pound, Eliot and others, is to try to establish a kind of superiority over others by a pretentious use of references that are well known to a 'cognoscenti' group of like minded poets, but meaningless to others.

This poem is doing exactly that. Apollinaire was one of those artists who was interesting, died tragically and had very 'good' connections. This gives him a glamour beyond the worth of his artistic creation. As I have discovered over the last couple of days his poetry has been repeatedly reworked and translated along with huge amounts of discussion about the merits of different translation approaches. The same stuff as we have covered here quite thoroughly. Should there be literal word substitution, should you recreate rhyme and metre to the sacrifice of precision in meaning, etc. A lot of this stuff has nothing to do with the enjoyment of poetry. It is a kind of 'mine is bigger than yours' among a clique who do this stuff.

'On a theme of Apollinaire' has just taken the trivial observation by Apollinaire of the coincidence of buttons missing from a coat and the Mennonite refusal to use buttons and added a play on purple. I cannot help but see the main purpose of the poem being to tell us that its author knew 'Annie' by Apollinaire. It is clear from Julia Deakin's words introducing her choice that she does not know this. Quite enough for some readers of Poetry Review to snigger behind thier hands and rejoice in their superior knowledge.

I have learned more about Apollinaire and his followers than I want to know while spending a few days that might have been better used writing; and enjoying poetry which grew out of the original thoughts of the author.

All credit to Julia who picked a poem that caught her imagination. To me it is a pity that it didn't prove to be quite as worthy. On the positive side it did generate Julian's excellent response. His poem is worth returning to to see the many precise and well worked links he made. Parody is more powerful than pretention.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

I have considered Christine Dawson's comment and take on board what she has said. I have absolutely no doubt that her French is superior to mine (I wouldn't dare try to speak it in public). But, yes, I do find Mr Emmerson's comments rude; his rhetorical comment that he is 'badly in need of some poetic education' fools no one. And does he really mean 'poetic education'? That would provide for some amusement. I can imagine an incidence of 'poetic education' of physics, for example.
Sufficient to say that Poetry Review considered my poem worth publishing. I commend that venerable journal to Mr Emmerson.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Je comprends complètement ce que tu voulais dire par ce poème....
C'est triste, mais très bien écrit avec beaucoup de sensibilité...

Comment is about the limpets kiss (blog)

Alors là je ne vous crois pas du tout!
Ce ne pourrait pas être la conjecture!
Vous plaisantez... n'est-ce pas?

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Jeeeeeesh!!!!!!!!!!! this is a powerhouse list of poetry.
Awesome and some blinding couplets, I gotta re read theres tons to take in, superb, instant appeal.
I'm on board here. Just great!

Comment is about Chris Jam (poet profile)

Original item by Chris Jam

wow, so clear. sorry for your pain Mike. well expressed.

Comment is about The Wire Hanger (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

It is a real pleasure listening to your words. Also a pleasure to note that there are still those left with an independent voice. Something that is fast becoming eradicated from these soils. Speaking of soils, since Bush 2 Gulf 2, and that not be a football score, the world is fast destroying itself. Lobbyists are only given faint acknowledgment and, interestingly, percieved by many through the powers of a dictatorial media; as insignificant. This is all known by yourself, what isn't yet know as public knowledge, is a real, genuine philosophy that all can adapt to, that will provide lasting solutions. Unless of course, you have the answer. For it seems, idealism is never given the chance it deserves. Nice poetry. Keen to hear more.
mike

Comment is about StaRK iraQ (blog)

Original item by Chris Jam

I got to be frank about this, not only am I still hurt about it, but I wouldnt want anyone to go through it. It is quite simple really. My parents used to punish us unnecessarily with belts and wire hangers. The wire hanger was used on me, as well as the belt, the belt was used on my fellow siblings. It is a response to a poem about a nostalgic view of urban classes, a veiw that i far from share. The important thing to note, is that this type of learnt behaviour by parents who grew up in a country recovering from the second world war, carried the punishments that their parents meated out on them, upon their own children. There is a reference to learnt behaviour, that many in the working classes are still exhibiting and, protracting. At the end of this, although one could say one is assassinating ones parents, it is there, to bring about, a change in how we punish children. if enough people shout about the problems they now have because of the violence taken out on them as children, then the government 'may', and i use the term lightly (unfortuantely), bring about a social conscience that will address this issue. If we take a closer look at sweden, we can see how their society has developed for the better, with a no hitting policy in place to protect children. A final comment, my parents were brutal, and i, along with my fellow siblings are scarred in some particular way. I have to a certain extent forgiven them, but i know i would never do such things.
Mike

Comment is about The Wire Hanger (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

"Check for scars,

marvel at the process of killing hearts

without experiencing the pain,

then snub the victim - dead. "

a superb verse, song lyrical.

frantic frustration the stomping of fire, yes you kill fire and it is cathartic, cleansing.

the fire and the hurt heart juxtaposition works for me.

I notice elements were on your mind with fire and icing

how did you recall the six years old, was there an event in your life/subjects life?

I love the title too. Wire hanger can be interpreted different ways, the worry has thinned the man-coat hanger stylee, or he is hangin on the wire (phone) line, expecting a call? Wishing for this love thing to resolve?

so many questions
the style is always Mike Robinson(Waite)

Comment is about The Wire Hanger (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Hi Alex

Well... This is a run away train. Ihave been following the thread without commenting (As I am sure many have). I felt compelled to join in tonight as amongst the humour and appreciation expressed in the discussion was also analysis. Considered analysis at that by A.E. Quite a few people (All from different backgrounds,some academic and some not) have disected my work and I believe it is the better for it.
I liked your poem Alex, for me it did the two simple things that all good poetry does. It painted a strong picture and made me think.
Keep posting Winston

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Hi Pete
I'm having a gender problem here ..??. perhaps it doesn't matter.. abused abuser and fear.. well handled..sensitive,
the bristle of his beard
a feeling I always feared
and such reservation confirmed
could not contain my wince and squirm
Gus

Comment is about the limpets kiss (blog)

I actually think to myself, shock n horror. The poem itself brings the reader in and you begin to smile, that is until the end. In all honesty, although i realize that this reaction was what you intended, it lost its credibility by favouring contoversiality. It leaves you feeling rather bitter, for having been drawn in, in the first place. i feel its a dark play of ones psychology, and although a very mature piece, im lost within the context it is said, or suggested it is written. Very thought provoking, but very dangerous.

Comment is about If we did (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

I like this one Yosh, i like the many references to nature and, its simplicity.
Mike

Comment is about SOMETHING LOVELY....(short poem) (blog)

I dont know anyone who can defiet the ageing process. Would we want to???

Comment is about Mirror (blog)

Hi Pete, I like this poem for its intellect, sensitivity and insight. You can almost feel the anguish of a person misunderstood and taken for granted by a protagonist skilled in manipulation of a fragile. Although there is sensitivity there, i can almost feel the anger too, and ultimatley, a kind of resignation not necessarily wanted. Very thoughtful. Nice one blue.
Mike

Comment is about the limpets kiss (blog)

I'm at a loss as to understand why Anthony Emmerson's remarks appear rude? They seem to me just to express his opinion, an opinion which appears to have been considered carefully.
What qualifications are needed now to comment? I am reasonably educated, and I speak French, is that sufficient?

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Thanks for the information Alex. Now that I understand the Apollinaire link I'm afraid it doesn't give me a more favourable view.

Apollinaire's poem is not great and I do not see that the theme was developed beneficially

I have spent a lot of time wading through English translations of Apollinaire's poems. I have learned a lot more about him and his love for Annie Playden, but I do not think that translating all his work was a particular service to poetry.

To think that having a couple of buttons missing from your coat made you almost a Mennonite just about sums up this work. I don't feel greatly enriched by my increased knowledge of an English view of Apollinaire.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Hi Alex
I dont think that M Emmerson was being rude, a lot of us are uneducated on here and are looking to learn, myself included, I have spent a long time reading thru this thread as Im sure has Mr Emmerson. The ability to comment is a feature available on 'poem of month' in order to express different view points. I cant see where Mr Emmerson is being rude. He has offered up a fair critique. A large portion of which I agree with. This does not make me rude or dislike your poem, it just means im trying to, perhaps I just dont like this style. A lot dont like my style, heck my poem of month was rubbish, I was shocked it was picked and wished upon something better, I was lucky but I felt I deserved to be dissected the same way your poem has. I think you may hold the record for most replied poem / discussed, that is a victory and must mean something

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Here is the Apollinaire:
'Annie'

On the coast of Texas
Between Mobile and Galveston there is
A great big garden overgrown with roses
It also contains a villa
Which is one great rose

Often a woman walks
In the garden all alone
And when I pass on the lime-tree-bordered road
We look at each other

Since this woman belongs to the Mennonite sect
Her rose-trees have no buds and her clothes no buttons
There are two missing from my jacket
This lady and I are almost of the same religion
...
Translated by Oliver Bernard

Dudley Fitts has the last verse as:
As this woman is a Mennonite
Her rosebushes and her frocks are buttonless
There are two missing from my coat
The lady and I profess almost the same rite
...

Apollinaire has the original as:
Comme cette femme est mennonite
Ses rosiers et ses vetements n'ont pas de boutons
Il en manque deux a mon veston
La dame et moi suivons presque le meme rite
...
(Please excuse the lack of accents as I cannot locate the symbol insert function using this response box).

Please note that my poem is On a THEME of Apollinaire; it is not AFTER Apollinaire.

As far as Monsieur Emmerson is concerned, perhaps he has not heard of vers libre or even syllabics (used with some freedom here). As for prose, I wonder if he has read any of the prose poems of Apollinaire or Baudelaire? But then other readers will no doubt say 'Je te l'avais bien dit!' pointing to the gratuitous rudeness of M. Emmerson's comments, a sure mark of the uneducated.

Alex Smith


Alex Smith

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)