I love rasberries I can almost taste them, Carole

Comment is about Raspberry fib (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

I think you are missing something. You need something before the 'Guilt hangs there like the moon'. Something oblique but poignant.

Comment is about Sometimes (extended rhyming mix) (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

Yes... I like this version even better. : )

Comment is about Sometimes (extended rhyming mix) (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

Just tweaked my poem based on yours, and others, feedback. Thank you for your generous and well expressed opinions. I really do wish I had your more carefree attitude. Your poems are brill. Thanks.

Jxx

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

I've tweaked it a bit (fnarr, fnarr) based on feedback...all of which was really helpful and considerate. Hope I've not ripped its heart out....I got rid of the moaning Greek chorus singing to the Moon...and left it to the imagination...also kicked out most of the 'scientific' bit...had to keep in 'topography'....you gotta leave the odd challenge in. Thank you everyone for your helpful input. I really mean that. You've been lovely.

Thanks

Jxxx

Comment is about Sometimes (extended rhyming mix) (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

Fabulously evocative. I wonder how much better it could be if you dared to rhyme it less? There are some lovely metaphors in there...and the 'drone' of fear is..well, just a superb description.

Jxx

Comment is about Brimming (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

I think this is probably the best poem i've read of yours on here.
Some great lines and imagery.
Well done with the rhyming scheme too.x

Comment is about Sometimes (extended rhyming mix) (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

hello me luvly!I don,t know where to start in thanking you-you have been so kind enough to read so many of my pooims-big big thanks Lynn-really am sorry to read about your tootsie struggling-now if I was your neighbour,I would look after you so well-in between the bouts of drunkeness,fighting,backyard rave ups at three in the morning-haha! no I really could do so much-and all for just £25 an hour-lol! aw take it easy chuck! keep me posted on progress Lynn-be very careful! Stef-xxps-I hope you are training Benji to fetch!

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Unfortunately there must be memories evoked for many people as well as relating to some today.
It's one of those poems that will sadly live on in years to come.

That makes it a damn good write in my opinion. It isn't easy writing about issues of life but you do it well.x

Comment is about Brimming (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Thank you so much Elaine for your kindness in commenting on 'Jacks passing'and'within the nowhere crowd'rest assured my little efforts come from being inspired by the likes of your good self and brilliant work-thank you-Stef.

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

Made me smile too, Dave. Your boundaries seem about right to me! ;)

Comment is about Pink (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi and thanks for your comment and enquiry with suggestions on my 'Madness' poem.

I wondered whether the word 'mocking' should actually be repeated as it is intended to mean the voices were crude and mocking as well as mocking everything that made any sense.
Hope that makes sense :-)

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

Absolutely brilliant, John, love it!

Comment is about Chinese Buffet - As Much As You Can Eat (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I like this very much, Larisa. Thank you also for commenting on mine. Love, Lynn x

Comment is about It's Never Late (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Greg, many thanks for the encouraging words - will read your work when I have the time - best regards - Philipos

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

I would agree with many of Laura's comments. There is some great imagery in here and I love the use of the moon to represent guilt and tie into the whole sexuality theme - even to its colour.

Like Laura, I wasn't sure about the geography through to topography bit. I liked the idea of the 'output' mirroring the moon and singing to its sister in the sky, though.

I also like the inclusion of guilt in the poem. It adds to the mood of the poem - without the guilt it is just any old shag - it doesn't have the same potency and foreboding.

I'm not sure about the 'what have we done, what have we done line' I think you could have placed something more subtle there which could have run into the 'Guilt hangs there...like the moon'

Comment is about Sometimes (extended rhyming mix) (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

For some reason I always get these odd links coming to mind when reading your poems! This time it's Neil Young and Syd Barrett's "Vegetable Man." Sorry! But seriously, this really made me smile. Brill!

Comment is about Pink (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

This was a "wow" poem for me - I loved it and felt the listing perfectly echoes the layers whilst the perceived jumble really didn't strike me that way, it is literally what it is like to dig deep down. I love the choice of words - I love the richness and evocative power of technical or scientific words: eg. "Igneous, calcareous, metamorphic". x

Comment is about stratigraphy (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Incidentally, I love the attractive picture which drew me inexorably towards your poem!

Comment is about Pink (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Dave
I used to have pink lunes, in the days when the flare was wider than the waistband. I was pretty cool, man.

Comment is about Pink (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

How lovely - I love the "my two humans". You have captured the essence of what it is to be a cat, I am sure - at least that's how we think it looks to them!

Comment is about Amber (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Loved this - you painted a picture with words and the image of the words too - in the last line the word "flashed" in red is the robin. How very clever, succinct and effective.

Comment is about november robin (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Lovely, Ann - poem and photo. I really feel here that shock one feels as a parent sometimes: the shock of the wave that could have drowned, the fear that sometimes leads us to smack or shout and then also the shock of seeing your child grow old too. And the fear that never goes away - "make sure I die first". No, smacking never worked for me - all he did was smack me back!! Well, he was quite young. I'm afraid my raised voice is enough...! x

Comment is about daughter (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Really good stuff - in other words we mess ourselves up. Some fantastic lines and images. I love a good rant - go for it!

Comment is about (blog)

Lettuces on crackerjack? WRONG! about as wrong as the spelling of BUSTLE! lol! 3 CABBAGES dropped and contestant was out-now you know how much of a fossil I am! Stefan...2 cabbages-

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Laura - being listening to that Neutral Milk Hotel Album tonight on the way back from work. Its a complex multilayered thing isn't it. I will give it time to grow on me. Some of my top ten albums were never instant favourites so there's still a chance, Win xx

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Yes, quite agree with all of this - very true to life, wrapped around that little finger - so am I too! These man-child things! Yes I am looking forward to unbroken sleep too! But, will we ever get it I ask?! Even when away they creep into your thoughts..! x

Comment is about Made of Love (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I think there can be a number of readings of this: madness, bereavement are alternative states conjoured up by the poem. I hope you don't mind me asking - would you look at lines 4 & 5 of verse 3? It could be that I am missing it but the line ending on mocking halted the meaning which I took to mean "mocking everything that made any sense." My point is, should there be a pause between "mocking" and "everything..."? I love the "Wintry day in early May" and the "Standing in the centre..". Also, like Isobel, I like the lines 1 and 2 of verse 2. x

Comment is about Madness (blog)

Yes indeed chaps! My bustle is completely made of varying types of lettuce! I used to be on Crackerjack you know!

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Yes indeed chaps! My bustle is completely made of varying types of lettuce! I used to be on Crackerjack you know!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

hey yourself john(Ann just carry on regardless)I,m so 'green' with envy at your very clever joke that you may have driven me to the hedge!(brilliant! can we have comments on joke kerwality?)this soldier on the battlefield says to comrade-I would rather be in bed with a big busty blonde and a book-comes the reply-must be some read!-first soldier-who said I can read-bum bum!-Steffal Brush-xx(payment to Ann for loan of space John-don,t worry!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

If you spoke this off the cuff with no words, you should be so proud of yourself. You capture the atmoshere so well. I would agree with the others re your voice and performance - you have a lovely voice and tone - very mellow and soft.

I never read this initially cos there were no words. I like to see written words - you should have added them later!

Comment is about space (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

really really lovely clever poem-excellent lines-as for me,my nickname is the 'blundering oaf'-lol! thanks love-Stefan-xx

Comment is about F&M Nouns In Russian (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

great little poem-young man! theres so much to help you keep young on the net-i.e-botox! lol!cheers shipmate-Stef-no kisses even though we are both 'sailors!lol+1

Comment is about The World Grew Younger (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

really good poem Pete! remind me to show you my yeti impression sometime! exfoliation? I call it 'de-fluffing'-except for my chrome dome-who loves ya baby!

Comment is about real men have body hair (blog)

Could have been worse John - could have been a rocket! (Type of posh lettuce for all you plebs out there!)

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Quote 're your poets image-how did the lady in the pik manage to get a garden to grow out of her posterior?' Quote.

Hey, Stefan, I reckon that's just the tip of the iceberg! : )Jx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Dear dearie of the BUSTLE-since I recently joined the beasthood-sorry priesthood I have decided to delete all blasphemous poems and rude comments in order to be assured of a glorious entry into paradise-you can laugh-you are laughing are you not? not? oh goodbye then Mrs Chips-Father Wilde(the better)...tea hee n toast-xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hee hee, sure you are right, Banksy!

Comment is about Hallux Valgus (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Oh - and as for 'meagre'? What planet is it you're living on?! It's great in many ways - I thought mine was a bit crap tbh!

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Howdy

So, this feels like a 'sister' companion to what I interpreted as a male orgasm.

I like the juxtaposition of the moon in this - as an actual daylight moon (helping to signify the affair/snatched opportunity in the daytime, which must be at the heart of this orgasm, or why the guilt), and as a signifier of the physicality of an orgasm.

Loving the whole moon concept actually - works great as an analogy to female sexuality anyway, linked as it is to the cycle.

The moonshards/shattered galaxies lines work brilliantly as analogies of what I would term 'gush' ;)


Am not so sure about the pouring through the geography of least resistance...perhaps it's the 'pouring' I'm not so fond of. I can see what you're getting at, but it seems a little...scientific? Maybe?

I wish there wasn't any guilt though - wasted bloody emotion that one is

Comment is about Sometimes (extended rhyming mix) (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

Regarding orgasms....I'd be interested in your views on my more meagre offering. : )

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

This made me laugh (with a rolling of the eyes)... so you to say such things!

Mais ne t'inquiètes pas mon amour...
Je t'aime comme tu es.
xxxxx

Comment is about real men have body hair (blog)

It really is Hebden Bridge? That's spooky!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

A true belly laugh, John

Comment is about Chinese Buffet - As Much As You Can Eat (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Very funny - should perform well. On the whole male body hair doesn't bother me, I must admit - though huge tufts of it coming from the ear, aren't that attractive. Much harder being a woman, I think. Don't know many men who can tolerate body hair on a woman.

Comment is about real men have body hair (blog)

have deleted me'otel pooim-was too naughty-I,ll explain it to you when you get older-I may have been called to the headmasters orifice-(I mean office) over it-tee hee...S+W-ps-re your poets image-how did the lady in the pik manage to get a garden to grow out of her posterior?

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hey thanks for your comment on the orgasm poem - I'm really glad you liked it :)

Acrostic, eh? I didn't even know it was a recognised form. I was just messing about!

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

(bi-metallic strip) = thermostat. 2 pieces of metal with different properties, when heated expand at different rates causing the metal to bend, which then opens or closes the electrical contact. All houses with some form of electrically controlled heating will have one.

Comment is about Setting fire to a hundred and one things of love (blog)

Win, many thanks on recent comments, super to see you / interact again after my time away

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes