This is an interesting poem. I've read this poem a few times and its words have a deep meaning. One thing was the last verse has me a bit confused. I think that it just need a slight change and it will flow wonderfully keep the deep meaning intact.
Comment is about For rest. (blog)
Original item by Agony Aiane
Thanks for looking in Rose.You're right, loved ones are in our hearts no matter where we are. In the case of my car I've always thought of it as a special place because I'm in a very special kind of mood when I'm driving alone. It takes me 45 minutes each way to work and I do lots of my writing there either in my mind or blabbering into an old fashioned tape recorder. When I'm in that introspective sort of mood that's just when I feel my old Dad's closeness,Steve
Comment is about Dad and My Car (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Harry,
Another comment before I've had time to thank you for the first one.
Thank you so much for your wonderful critique(s) of My Bullet.
I tried to play down the glory side of war as you percieved, in a way that Wilfred Owen and others have done and examine the after effects.
(hence the references to Tennyson's Charge of the Light Brigade, which I undestand he wrote as Poet Laureate)
I am honoured that you enjoyed it and that you must have read it more than once.
We do say shuffeling where I come from.
I read this poem at our poetry evening in Wigan last month, along with a poem by Leslie Coulson (Who Made The Law?) It was a respectful evening at The Old Courts, as The Tudor closed down. If you get the chance come up to our new venue. It would be good to meet up again.
Best wishes and thanks again
Dave
Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Thanks Harry (twice) and Cynthia.
I value your comments. I am a little out of my comfort zone here but your words are very much appreciated.
Dave
With Regard to Windows 8.1 Ditch it and upgrade to Windows 10 when it comes out. They are going back to the traditional desktop, I hear.
:-)
Comment is about My Bullet (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
cheers tina, to see the full horror/comedy of this you have to google and watch 'the nutribullet show'. i was speechless!!
cheers for the comment btw
daz
Comment is about Talkin' late night, buy it now, extended warranty, consumer durable blues. (blog)
Original item by dazzer
Hi Lynn, thanks for your comment. :)
On the topic of another dog, I think that will wait a little while - we might decide to move again early next year, so it would make sense to postpone acquiring another woofer until then.
The idea of being a little way outside of town appeals, not 'out in the sticks' again, but just far enough to make dog walks a rural path rather than pounding pavements, hehe.
Keep smiling :) Dave
Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Sex - or none - can be termed tragic
If you doubt it read this bit of magic!
A priceless poignant piece of poesy from the
master (but not at Hogwarts!)
:-))
Comment is about HARRY POETER (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Hello Dave, sorry for the delay in answering, but thank you for your kind comments on 'Doggy Walk'.
How is the warming towards another dog going, or do you have one yet? x
Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Dunn
So well said, Tina, I'm in complete agreement on all points.
Comment is about Black Friday Stampede (blog)
Original item by tina
Hahah I love the "steaming mopping sex machine" line. I enjoyed reading this x
Comment is about Talkin' late night, buy it now, extended warranty, consumer durable blues. (blog)
Original item by dazzer
Thanks Darren, I will have a read of yours now x
Comment is about Black Friday Stampede (blog)
Original item by tina
nice one tina, reflects my views on the stampede too. the aftermath im sure would have been hundreds of people with moderately priced end of line electrical goods!! i have a similar poem on a similar subject. daz
Comment is about Black Friday Stampede (blog)
Original item by tina
Interesting points Harry
The capitalisation, I guess, are because each sentence start is a footstep or a stamp so it's to stress words or ideas as they role
This makes the poems jerky which maybe are the cogs whirring, wondering about the 'why'
There isn't really much happiness or delight in my poetry, it's a voice toying with the facts like a rubik's cube, trying to make the sides match to make some sense of why things work this way with no real idea why the colours are as they are or why the shape is round but feels square ...
that's probably not much help is it?
I'm glad you enjoyed thinking about this one though
Comment is about The Fall (blog)
Original item by Twilbury Wist
<Deleted User> (9882)
Tue 2nd Dec 2014 10:20
Very nice poem Steve.Personally,I don,t need to be in a car to see my Father (in spirit)He,s always the passenger-in my heart..sniff sniff.x
Comment is about Dad and My Car (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
<Deleted User> (9882)
Tue 2nd Dec 2014 10:16
Preeti Sinha
Tue 2nd Dec 2014 04:17
Brilliant! I can visualize your frustration....
Comment is about Scribble (blog)
Original item by UInk
"Ere you...in the EU!"
JP...
Thanks for taking the trouble to comment. You
will have no doubt about my view of that
bottomless pit across the Channel.
Keep persevering! Good humour and an ability to
indulge in some self-deprecation can be in
short supply amongst some of the serious posts.
Comment is about Jack purvis (poet profile)
Original item by Jack purvis
Thanks Tommy (hope thats a good thing!) Steve
Comment is about Dad and My Car (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Twilbury,
Most of your poems (like your profile `Pocket` one) seem to operate by contradicting their own terms (perhaps not `Sheepless`). I`ve
come across this kind before and wonder why the
poets seem to take pleasure in it and don`t seem to express more surprise...I think I mean: Why do they seem so happy about the fact of it, and never seem to wonder about the why of it?
On the form: I could guess that the `thinness` of the lines and non punctuation might perhaps be to `rattle` the contradictions on briskly... but why
the capitalisation?
It was enjoyable thinking about this one.
Comment is about The Fall (blog)
Original item by Twilbury Wist
This is a hard one to comment on. Just wanted you to know that it moved me, very much.
You express yourself beautifully.
Comment is about last out of Pandora's box (and last to die) (blog)
Original item by steve pottinger
cheers for reading jack, as you can see you can now take part in 24/7 spendathon from the comfort of your own front room covered in pringle crumbs and smelling slightly of desperation.
Comment is about Talkin' late night, buy it now, extended warranty, consumer durable blues. (blog)
Original item by dazzer
GRAY,
I like that:
`Skateboarding between
The truth and lies`
Comment is about Waiting for Nancy 11 (blog)
Original item by Gray Nicholls
Dave,
Looked at this again trying to sus out why I used the word `humbly`.
Obviously the: `not the glorious hero` bit, but I think more...the remembrance ceremonies are also solemn events but they miss out what your poem is `saying` - the sheer unreasonableness of human beings killing each other en mass. It is unusual (and humble) in sharing the guilt and pleading for forgiveness.
It expresses a universal `reasoning why` that must (should?) have been pondered after all the `bravery` stuff had died down.
Technically,
I forgot to mention the alliteration and double beat on the ff`s in line fourteen, and the (ironical?) double play on `pals`.
You should be proud of this one.
Comment is about My Bullet (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
I'm generally optimistic by nature, but every now and then there are days when I think 'stuff this for a game of soldiers'. This is a poem about one of those days.
Comment is about last out of Pandora's box (and last to die) (blog)
Original item by steve pottinger
: ) has the feel of 'Driving in my car ' by Madness. Tommy
Comment is about Dad and My Car (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Hello. Annie! Thank you for your kind words. xx
Comment is about Judi Strega (poet profile)
Original item by Judi Strega
What a truly excellent interview, and an important one for the live poetry movement, given that Maggie runs one such night, AND has won a major 'proper' poetry award; and an important one in terms of its resonance for so many parents.
Comment is about The Write Out Loud interview: Ted Hughes award winner Maggie Sawkins (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
<Deleted User> (9882)
Mon 1st Dec 2014 09:42
Hi Steve-cheers for liking my I.D...x
Comment is about Steve Higgins (poet profile)
Original item by Steve Higgins
<Deleted User> (9882)
Mon 1st Dec 2014 09:42
Hi Steve-cheers for liking my I.D...x
Comment is about Steve Higgins (poet profile)
Original item by Steve Higgins
The monster with, we never hide from. We must conquer and endure.
Comment is about The Monster (blog)
Original item by Spoken_Thoughts
So deserved- so pleased for you all xxxx
Comment is about Commonword has arts grant restored after appeal (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
A lovers' encounter given the frisson of
a proper poetic depiction - with some
memorable lines to make us realise it.
Comment is about The Night Battle (blog)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Pertinent for Black Friday
Comment is about Talkin' late night, buy it now, extended warranty, consumer durable blues. (blog)
Original item by dazzer
Enjoyed this rhyming narrative
Comment is about Dumping a fantasy (blog)
Original item by Alexander Hume
What an intriguing idea Alexandra. Likening the loss of identity and birthright expressed so cleverly. Well thought out.
Graham
Comment is about Blood thief (blog)
Original item by Alexandra K. Parapadakis
thanks so much for your kind comments on 'Arroyo' David - really pleased you liked it. I'm trying to concentrate a bit more on form and style following the WW1 stuff - so hopefully it should take me in some interesting directions :-) hope you are well and lining up a great Christmas - take care mate - Ian
Comment is about David Blake (poet profile)
Original item by David Blake
I think Jeremy Paxman is going to be far too busy writing his memoirs - he's just got been given a three book deal - to worry too much about poetry in the forseeable future. But who knows.
Comment is about The Write Out Loud interview: Ted Hughes award winner Maggie Sawkins (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Such a strange loss, and even stranger finding. Tommy
Comment is about The Dream (blog)
Original item by Shirley Smothers
UInk
Wed 3rd Dec 2014 02:20
This is a colourful poem. I love the use of analgises
Comment is about Autumn (blog)
Original item by Agony Aiane