Simple and subtle with some winning lines Tom. Captivating.
Ray
Comment is about 'Courtyard in Snow' by Tom Harding is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Thanks David for going the extra mile in interpretation. All highly valid when turned over. I saw the doc that Colin mentioned, and it disturbed me rather, with the perverse fancies of Hitchcock clearly revealed. I thought I would try to neutralize that by ridiculing it - hence Michael. The film was a shock for me at the age of 16 !
Glad I stirred you up Hannah! Not sure if IS exists, but it should. I do mimicry quite a lot. Thanks for looking in.
Thanks Suki. I didn't realize how the addition of "fat controller" would add an ingredient. Glad that worked.
Blimey, Col. Scary French! Yes the doc. got me thinking. Very interesting , do watch it. Note the comment about filming in black and white and why...
Grateful to you: Tommy, David and Pat additionally.
Ray with love to all.
Comment is about PSYCHO DRAMA (blog)
Original item by ray pool
<Deleted User> (18980)
Fri 16th Mar 2018 15:42
Consistent Hugh...exactly the same standard as previous entries.
Comment is about It wasn't my dog! (blog)
Original item by hugh
your words that relate you make sound mesmerizing but painfully put there bc you feel it too. i enjoy reading your poems a lot! i hope you don’t stop just keep doing this for you bc it may help other ppl too
Comment is about Momma, I Can't Knock Them Out. (blog)
Original item by Nick
These lines evoke the constant pitch and sway between
what is desired and what is offered - and who, if guilt be
attached, is to blame for the outcome? The film world
has the reputation of the "casting couch" in offering and obtaining advantage to interested parties of both sexes.
The old stars, long gone, have alluded to the process and
it's now part of Hollywood folklore, whatever degree it
reached in practice. They in their turn appear to have
treated it with amused indifference on the basis that real
talent never needs it and those who recognise real talent
never use it. The crimes that may be involved are
subject to being submerged under the weight of the
"hindsight" complaints that see financial opportunity and
this is a very obvious danger to obtaining justice for the victims of defined criminal behaviour who seek proper and just redress.
Comment is about (blog)
Original item by Amanda Evans
Cheers Cynth.
Yeh, I think it's the sound of 'blindfold' that I like more than anything. I agree, it's doubling up. I will consider removing it, thanks for the suggestion.
Vision - I'll keep that in though, as it's not exactly the same doubling up as previously, it's slightly different again.
Comment is about Wilfully Blind (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
I like this a lot, Laura. You are so good. I make a bold suggestion because we know each other, with great respect.
Would you consider removing a couple of words like:
'He sticks the blinkers on
Counts out the sorrows ... '
The 'blindfold' idea is clear already, and the mouthing of that word itself is almost a shuffle in a sharp step.
'And sees with one eye only' is hugely impactive, IMO, needing no further embellishment of the same idea and that word with a 'sshh' sound like a motor stopping.
But, perhaps, that is exactly what you intended; you're that skilled.
Comment is about Wilfully Blind (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Sharply pointed and deeply inserted.
Comment is about The Codes (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
Oh I do like this. The repetition of that line - is this a 'form' poem? I'm crap at recognising any form.
It feels biblical to me, almost godlike in its authoritarian narrative.
That second line is pure killer. One I wish I'd written myself.
Comment is about Don't Hesitate Til You Know (blog)
Original item by Adam Whitworth
Thank you for your contribution, Colin.
That remark made to Brian was flippant and dismissive, and springs from having to explain myself, my language, my opinions, my everything to men for years and years, in the face of constant disapproval for not fitting into the mould of what a woman 'should be'. It gets incredibly tiresome and frustrating, so sometimes I resort to one-liners. The hypocrisy in the statement of the use of every other swear word being acceptable but this one not (some kind of silent, invisible and unpredictable pre-judgement) irked me too.
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
<Deleted User> (18980)
Thu 15th Mar 2018 17:30
when I start I just can't stop ? do you like it doh ..lol
Comment is about America (blog)
Original item by Lisa Donohoe
<Deleted User> (16099)
Thu 15th Mar 2018 15:24
from the first few lines I was hoping this piece was about you-you are a beautiful woman of words indeed, and naked with you in heart and mind would be a gentle and loving grace come true...
Comment is about Tree (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Cheers Martin, anyone can see that you are an erudite chap with taste. ;- )
Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)
Original item by Martin Elder
Cheers Martin, anyone can see that you are an erudite chap with taste. ;- )
Comment is about Inebriation or where's the wall? (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
<Deleted User> (18980)
Thu 15th Mar 2018 14:52
Blooming heck Lisa...leave a few issues for the rest of us!
Comment is about America (blog)
Original item by Lisa Donohoe
Different strokes for different folks then eh? Generations apart!
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
'let alone a woman', Graham? Oh dear. I'm going to choose to laugh at that, and remind myself of the generational gap between us. As for hackneyed, well, does farting ever lose its humour? Not for me it doesn't. Some things don't get old.
Good point well made, Stu. I just checked. Yeh, interesting. And yet there have been three objections to the usage on my poem.
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
perhaps pillory was a little pre-emptive on my part. pardon this particular use of pillory.
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
An opinion is a far cry from pillory Stu! Once again I repeat my first para:
"Oh dear, once again the furore over the use of a certain offensive word is quite likely to overshadow the whole piece".
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
i so rarely get involved in these things, but cant help but suggest those offended type the word cunt in to the search bar at the top of the page and scroll through the myriad uses of the word both in the titles of pieces and in the works themselves. so far i've read four pieces with the word in the title and the poem itself, nowhere to be found, however, is any complaint of any kind. it can't have become offensive all of a sudden can it?
there are many instances of shock value on WOL, I myself have utilised both the damning word and other techniques to get my point across and have never faced criticism.
i do find it odd that this piece has become subject to such pillory.
thats all i have to say on the matter though as, as i said, i never get involved in this sort of stuff. live life and be happy thats what i say.
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Ah! yes CBT, you've committed the cardinal WOL sin. Now no-one will bother to read your previous effort Poets in Poetry! Naughty girl ?.
Comment is about Tree (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Oh dear, once again the furore over the use of a certain offensive word is quite likely to overshadow the whole piece.
For my two-pennyworth, the C-word is a particularly ugly word, one that I wouldn't expect a man to use, let alone a woman, in such a serious piece as this.
I think the play on the C-word and Mr Hunt is also too hackneyed now to be effective.
Reading this several times, my view is that if the offending lines were removed it wouldn't reduce the piece at all.
The subject is a very clever balancing act between the banality of everyday life and the "wonder" of what's out there and how etc???
I hope more people read it fully. On my second reading I ignored the offending lines and enjoyed it even more.
Good work
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
? brilliant
Comment is about Start Over Again. (This is A Song.) (blog)
Original item by Damon Blackery
OK, I'll not do this again. Two days in a row - not my style at all. I'm not sure what's the matter with me today. Hope I'm not dead tomorrow. But I just have to post it.
Maybe it's the death of Steve Hawking. That could be it.
Comment is about Tree (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
And thanks once more, Hannah ? You have been busy! ? I'm very glad you enjoyed it. I took his most well-known quote and played with time on some of the lines, and interjected them with other ideas. I like it too, so much so that I'm going to use it as the pivotal poem in my next book ?
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Well Colin, I think the word I finally selected is the correct choice. It’s a shame you couldn’t look up from your feet, as it were, either to continue reading and/or to recognise the intelligent structure of the poem, playing as it does with ideas of time and effect using one of SH’s most well-known quotes, using themes integral to his life’s work. I’m pretty sure SH would approve, given the fierce battle he was engaged with against JH and the creeping privatisation of the NHS. I could have said it’s a divisive word for a divisive figure, but I can’t actually think of anyone who defends him and his policies. Your reaction is interesting, however, in that it mirrors my reaction to said figure - revulsion. A repulsive word (for you) for a repulsive person. That fits nicely, as another aspect in defence of the choice.
There are a wealth of poems and songs to do with the person referred to, all of which make the joke about not actually saying the rhyming word. Indeed, the Commoners Choir sing the most perfect example of that:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhH5zOPHxg4
In the words of John Cooper Clarke,
“What kind of creature bore you
Was it some kind of bat?
They can't find a good word for you
But I can…”
Etc
Your objection reminds me of the time when a promoter booked me for a gig and then told me not to do any ‘sweary poems’. I wrote this poem in response:
Alphabetic gang fight
offends with every twist
of this liberated tongue.
My organ will defy,
decline your regimental
right and wrong;
inclined to lick around
all the edges of the words
that you label as ‘profane’.
Likes to spit out sonics
thick with breaches
of vernacular.
‘Acceptability’
not integral to its means.
Loves the kick of fuck on teeth,
the sibilance of pissing,
can curl a prudish lip
which will never feel the joy
of a cunt upon the tongue,
or the diction of a prick.
This ‘vulgarity’?
Profanity is what you see.
Dirty words are what you hear.
Allow yourself to take offence,
enraged at one arrangement
of our common written signs.
My organ of delight
is designed to lick around
all the edges of all words,
not to tick your boxes
of allowed and disallowed.
Whose mouth is this anyway?
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Hey again Hannah!
I would 100% recommend you read the Nancy Stout book. If you're struggling for funds, I could always post my copy to you ?
It's quite amazing how much she contributed, and yet we know next to nothing about her.
Comment is about Celia in Silhouette (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Thanks Hannah - glad you enjoyed it ?
Comment is about Happy Valentine's! (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
<Deleted User> (18980)
Thu 15th Mar 2018 09:30
Damon Don't sell your soul to the devil...the exchange rate is awful ?
Comment is about Second of Clarity (blog)
Original item by Damon Blackery
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 15th Mar 2018 08:29
and there is always someone else having a much worse day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1n357nxofU
Comment is about Bad Day (blog)
Original item by Natalie Rupik
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 15th Mar 2018 08:09
Love! Love! Love! The conversational style as if to oneself but also hoping someone else is listening works very well. We are indeed 'on the precious side' and it doesn't hurt for us to step back and laugh at ourselves once in a while. The underlying theme for me is inclusiveness and togetherness that poetry can bring, as summed up so neatly in these lines:
'That 'someone else - one person else -
Might see as I see, think as I think
Understand what I'm trying to understand.'
Thanks for posting Cynthia.
Colin.
Comment is about Poets and Poetry (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 15th Mar 2018 07:55
excellent idea for a poem 220 and the 'paper cuts in deeper places' is perfectly placed there in the middle. Col.
Comment is about Paper Mache’ (blog)
Original item by 220August
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 15th Mar 2018 07:49
Top stuff Michael and you have the pundits pondering. I'm guessing you watched the recent doc on the making of said shower scene? It's on my catch-up to-do list so no spoilers please although I have a good idea how it turned out. CUT!
"Psycho Drama
Qu'est-ce que c'est
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better
Run run run run run run run away oh oh"
Col.
Comment is about PSYCHO DRAMA (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Hi Ray,
Like David, this poem works as a grotesque comedy ~ a parody of sorts. Then, there's a deeper aspect: Illuminati initiation; intimations of blackmail, or just resignation to Hollywood-style seediness.
Lovely reading too.
Cheers, Suki
Comment is about PSYCHO DRAMA (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Hi there Stu,
Cynthia says it perfectly. You say so much with so few words. An excellent poem.
Suki
Comment is about he must be full by now (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Hi Cynthia,
The first verse on its own is a very fine poem. Lovely.
Thanks for sharing.
Suki
Comment is about Poets and Poetry (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Big Sal
Wed 14th Mar 2018 22:33
Mightier than the sword, and more effective than a thousand rounds of ordnance in the right hands.
Comment is about The Tongue (blog)
Original item by Nessa
Big Sal
Wed 14th Mar 2018 22:27
Big Sal
Wed 14th Mar 2018 22:18
<Deleted User> (18118)
Wed 14th Mar 2018 19:35
<Deleted User> (18118)
Wed 14th Mar 2018 19:33
Beautiful.
Loved reading this.
Hannah
Comment is about In The Empty Space (blog)
Original item by Mahika
Rey
Fri 16th Mar 2018 22:28
Thank you, Hope! <3
Comment is about Ode to the Living Dead (blog)
Original item by Rey