Why does it terrify me so?

For sometime I had to battle my own mind.
To reach out and tear myself away.
To seek my hidden truths.

To find what it is that I'm seeking,
What is needed of me.
What I'm needing to do,
To uncover the mess in my head.

I exists in a place of solitude now.
Where not many would find me.
However sometimes, I'm conflicted.
As theres two inside me.

Psychological battles,
The thoughts of betrayals,
The losses I've had,
A strong soul that prevailed.

Right now I'm untouchable,
Bulletproof,
Top of the food chain,
Who can now stop me?

Hmph....

Nobody can,
I make sure of it.
Not another person will see me weak,
Something I won't take lightly.

The moments of rage I'm having,
Circulating through me, like my own blood.
However I've come to conclude I should embrace it rather,
Than thinking that its just a fucking curse.

Fuck the opinions of others,
I honestly don't really care.
I lose no sleep on those people.
Whether they say I'm a sweet man.
Or I'm a cold hearted prick.
Either way you should really listen, to those people.

I act accordingly,
So beleive what they say.
But in the end,
I really couldn't care less either way.

But why am I so terrified to open up?
Why does it terrify me so?
The answers I actually know.
But to come to terms with it all.

I know exactly why it terrifies me.
I can't bring myself to explain,
Maybe in the last few months, parts of me died.
Of course I would not be the same.

Until I can open up,
I'll just take each day in its stride.
But still some people don't understand,
Theres no hiding the truth, in the eyes.

It's always in the fucking eyes...


◄ Before I'm put to rest

Adam and Selina Part.1 (poetic story) ►

Comments

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Jordyn Elizabeth

Fri 31st Jul 2020 01:41

I loved this piece.

-J

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Hamzah Aslam

Thu 2nd Jul 2020 12:32

Moon.girl through weakness comes strength, but you're right. The eyes are the gates to your soul and the mental scars you have are where the light shines through 🤗. Thank you for your kind words and Po my mannnn

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Paul Sayer

Wed 1st Jul 2020 14:23

You are a man.

Bluesky.girl

Wed 1st Jul 2020 13:58

There's nothing that can terrify a person with strength and power. You are one of them. What's in the heart reflects in the eye. Settle the heart, eyes will shine bright.
Food for heart: Remembrance of God. That's it.

Genuinely good. Can feel the emotional words vibes.

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