Rudyard Kooistra on
7 hours ago
The past is haunting:
scars, seeping wounds.
The present is daunting:
deadly viruses, illness, disease,
affecting everything - livelihood,
The future is uncertain:
We ask why:
gleaning truth from ...
Sunday 27th December 2020 7:38 pm
Another song/poem. I wrote, and my sons friend and I recorded, its a bit rough cause it was recorded on his phone, but the words are mine.
My Crazy Diamond
As these words cascade upon the page
I feel a hole inside
Sometimes I shine like you
My crazy diamond.
All my friends say its good to have you back
But I’m not there
I’ll spend another day
Just staring at th...
Thursday 12th November 2020 9:49 pm
A song I wrote a while ago, I played the guitar when I still could, arthritis in my hands has ended that, My cousins son sang and played the Harmonica and clapped.we never sat down and played it just sent stuff back and forth on the internet until we had something he could mix at his studio. Its about my son who died of a rare bone cancer, Ewings Sarcoma at eighteen years of age.
Blues for Davi...
Thursday 12th November 2020 9:35 pm
Showed me how it had been
The laughter and the tears
Rich juices flowing
Lights and tinsel
Greens and reds and silvers
The smell of pine
Needles on the carpet
Arguments and recriminations
Old wounds opened
New wounds pierced
This was how it was
Showed me how it is
Lonely day holy night
The only ...
Sunday 1st November 2020 12:52 pm
Shimmering lights dance in her eyes
Shimmering lights cannot dispel
Like the fire inside my soul
A cold darkness that grasps at my soul
A velvet touch cannot disguise
Persistent beeps, and sanitised smells
Two hearts that yearn to be whole
Infesting a heart that I stole
Beneath the fabric of power and love
Unfaltering floors with a sinister gleam
Monday 12th October 2020 11:08 pm
Would you still love your daughter if she was like me?
Would you give her love and affection?
Even if she was yelling and screaming and being mean?
Or would you turn a blind eye and just say
"Oh, she just wants attention!"
And ignore her cries for help.
Would you still love your daughter if she was like me?
Would you kiss and hold her and tell her everything will be alright?...
Thursday 8th October 2020 1:51 pm
On a flowing river,
Crossing by the Mosis,
Trying to carry out a dozen of pain.
Felling again in your thoughts,
Smelling of the roses,
Standing by your side in your arms.
Would you like,
To me my life,
Crossing the might just for you.
Would you hold and be my soul,
Crossing the river that flows in you.
She said would you hold me,
God has just called me...
Sunday 20th September 2020 6:20 pm
The fading embers of her mind
Drift away to a long-ago time
To shrouded visions of some young girl
A time of wonder, a world to unfurl
Through fields she would dance humming a tune
Losing herself amidst the sweet scent of bloom
A fragrant-filled-feast for her lungs to consume
Within the wonderful freedom of nature's playroom
And as the shimmering Sun went down
She would dance throug...
Thursday 17th September 2020 12:17 pm
As I love,
So I wish to be loved,
As I care,
So I wish to be cared for,
As I tolerate,
So I wish to be tolerated,
I could go on.........
But all these are simply words,
Words with elusive meangs,
And vague interpretations,
And no meaning at all to those who choose not to listen,
To write about love means nothing,
To talk about love means nothing,
Love is an action, a reaction,
Thursday 3rd September 2020 12:23 pm
What I am is wrong,
This is not me,
The entire sum of my life has led me to this fact,
I cannot be who I was, nor who I am,
Not even who I am trying to be,
The end is but a heartbeat away,
And there it will begin,
Life lived as a puppet,
Is life ruled by the puppeteer,
Cut the strings,
To fall to the ground by your own hand,
And then rise of your own accord,
Is what I long for,
Tuesday 1st September 2020 11:17 pm
Pain exists inside the heart
That mourns the missing day
Emptiness, holding all that’s lost,
Fingers white, grasping air, slipping away
Darkness surrounds all we see,
Shadows stolen from what could have been
Extinguish a flame, smoke filling our souls
As expectance is hidden and unseen
Embers remain in the sorrowful ash
As the wind lifts up the light of our e...
Wednesday 12th August 2020 9:09 am
(Inspired by Death With Dignity, Sufjan Stevens)
Stoic and sober silence, I can feel you,
Like a blanket draped 'round me
When I'm down with flu.
Why don't you speak?
Decimated dreams, I can see you
Even in the stark bleak.
The color of coal.
When will you heal?
Whispers of floating phantoms, I can hear you,
When you hover over my cot
And sing a berceuse.
Why did you stop?
Wednesday 22nd July 2020 11:11 am
I awake on a bed of roses,
Whose petals crunch like orphaned autumn leaves.
A ray of sunlight towards me approaches,
Dancing in the light are muddy speckles aplenty.
I can feel the air around me toy with my locks,
Which is as feeble as your grasp on my hand.
But I hold on
To you, this very second, this very moment.
The mere sight of you sugarcoats my disill...
Thursday 9th July 2020 7:07 pm
Jealousy pokes at me
like a schoolyard bully,
as I scroll social media greetings
professing undying love,
to fathers here and above.
I can’t help but feel cheated
to not have a father’s love.
I cringe at the dissonance
between my children
and their father.
How can fate be so cruel,
to curse multiple generations
with dysfunctional fathers....
Monday 22nd June 2020 1:36 am
In the ruins
Of my temple
Once in control
My warmest kiss
In the arms of
To face new growth
The path across
Saturday 13th June 2020 1:22 pm
Elegy For Days Lost
Another day has come and passed
Left pain and sadness in its wake
The seconds, minutes, hours amassed
The sun will give the moon will take
The distant friends the loved ones lost
Amid the times of dread disease
Each family will count the cost
And curse the name of days like these
And yet the sky was clearest blue
I wrote a poem, sang a so...
Sunday 24th May 2020 1:34 pm
I had been her son all my life
But not all of hers
When she started calling me
By her brother’s name
Not my dad’s
Dead for these past 10 years
A stroke will do that to you
Make you forget what you were saying
Struggling to find the rig...
Wednesday 6th May 2020 12:04 pm
Once when I was young I chanced upon a flower
Wild and free it was the most beautiful thing I had seen
And I wanted it for my own
To care for this flower
To show it off to the world
This beautiful flower that was my own
Through spring and summer
I watered, I watched and I helped it to grow
And the flower basked me in its glory as it did so
But I had to le...
Monday 6th April 2020 6:15 pm
Wave after wave of grief washed over me,
sadness so profound
the world seemed desolate and forlorn,
like being exposed to the stinging rain
and blistering wind
on wave crests at the height of a storm
Between bleak crests were moments
of consolation offered by caring friends,
or comforting memories,
perhaps a joke to soften the pain,
like valleys between waves
give some respite
Friday 3rd April 2020 7:40 pm
Echoing words through my head
Of all the sweet things that you said
Of times and memories of what we used to do
Just a little thing to see me through
My dear, it's clear
We aren't what we used to be
My dear, I fear
That’s the way it’s supposed to be
Blurred lines are once again made clear
It’s you with her
And me with him
That’s the way it should be in ...
Tuesday 18th February 2020 3:44 am
The greying morning
Barked like a dog
Trapped in a well
A sound so hollow
It shattered glass
In the cabinet where
She kept her memories
Tied in knots
The braying moon
Shone silver needles
Into the face
Of the weeping child
Screwing its hooks
Into soft flesh
Making the lanterns
Quiver with rage
In the ragged garden
Tuesday 11th February 2020 12:08 am
The rain falls
My soul weeps
All the secrets that we keep
Thursday 23rd January 2020 5:02 am
She was a spectacular tree.
People called her the flame of the forest,
for she was obviously striking, vivid and classy.
I need not narrate the superlative majesty
of the flame – tree, for one time or the other
we have all been breath-taken by her peerless glamor.
What matchless artistry!
I am here to quickly share
my ruminative gloom for that lovely assembly
of flower, leaf and wood, which grandly stood
Wednesday 22nd January 2020 2:44 pm
Is it still love when the cracks fill with lies?
And you know that you shouldn't crave their presence,
But they make you feel alive.
Is it still love when you long to break away?
But the notion of their absence compelles you to stay.
Is it still love when you try to forget?
But nothing will fill the void that they left.
Thursday 9th January 2020 10:21 pm
it’s 6:21 and when I look out my window from the corner of 29D,
there’s a subtle hue of blood orange outlining what looks like the perimeter of
and a breeze of clouds, lighter than feathers, so thin, as if it forgot to carry the mist it was designed to pour tonight
but that’s okay, because it found itself a new purpose:
your shrewd orange spirit is now perf...
Sunday 5th January 2020 6:22 am
We track the oblique, sly fireflies
that keep popping fitfully by.
While life swarms invitingly by the side
we remain rabidly hustling
those brusque cracking stars
...shifty, deceptive, volatile
in onyx-bronze, raven nights
We: the tenderfoot novice
bulldozed on many a graceless trip
half-cocked, peripheral, stoned
and profoundly ill with pitiful
Friday 3rd January 2020 2:57 am