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After Work

After Work

Events happened they did their activities

From basketball to hiking to soccer

Via drinking to eating to fucking

It was the same as any other job

Time to destress from the stressful job

Even if pushing their bodies to the limit

Hike a five hundred metre peak after shift

Or drink a dozen beers with vodka chasers

Takes the stress of the job away

What is your a...

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After Workcall centredown time

The Return

The Return

The Fake God was back on the prod floor

He sat in his old chair told the old jokes

His old support team sat or stood smiling

Most of them were happy their master was back

Tho one or two wore frowns or did fake smiles

One guy previously said he wasn’t happy

He wanted the Fake Boss out for good

Now he was back for good or till next time

When he bucked the metrix...

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bent managerkicked out now returnscall centre

Not Hopping

 

 

Not Hopping

Some trainers in the BPO industry

Have worked in 20 or 30 different places

Brian met 2 or more such trainers

Both had worked in dozens of centres

Between a month’s training and years

Finally settling down to train others

Being hoppers no more job to job

Instilling their skills info knowledge

With wisdom guidance mind set

It takes skill to be a tr...

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trainershoppercall centre

Change Time

Change Time
Do some reps miss the selling?
When they’re between call centre jobs
Not able to close a sale for B2B
Or get a Sirius XM radio upgrade
What of reps doing tech support
Fixing broken TVs and infra-red heaters

Same shit different shift on and on
Dial dial inbound joy call queuing
Sup call where’s your TL?
They’re MIA having a secret smoke
While the reps struggle on
This shif...

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salestech supportcall centre

Kookie

Kookie

The job got really kookie

2 almost sales in a day

Both failed at the VT stage

1 was the wrong business name

Plus a scheduled meeting

1 was a customer sick of holding

Who chatted with his pal

The calls added to a prior 1

This cx wanted the service

On a future date not today

Call me back in a week

2 sales that never were

A 3rd if the cx still agrees

...

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sales jobodd feelingscall centre

Mr Fraudy

Mr Fraudy

They talk about bringing back the corrupt boss

The camp is divided down the middle

Some for the boss the arse lickers

Some not for the boss the honest ones

A right storm is brewing!

 

The mango tree and cig area

Plus toilets and canteen buzzed

The old fraudy manager will return

If he does then I will go to war

 

Start off with a Messenger GC

So all...

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fraudcrooked managercall centre

haiku

It all happens there/work in a call centre job/go do what you want

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call centrework ethicsfree will

Night Day Educate

Night Day Educate

Brian worked on 2 very different education accounts

One was UK based with 6 main call drivers

3 of these had sub topics of varied concerns

He took calls off teachers needing help

He was trained on all 6 main concerns

But only took calls on 3 of them

47% of the reps resigned    

The other account was very different

Like comparing a bicycle to a truck

...

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call centreeducation accountsservice

branded

The call centre rep/was branded on his top arm/it hurt for six months

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brandingagentcall centre

Tea Biscuits

Tea Biscuits

The call centre rep turned the gal's life upside down

She was state apparatus gal married to a serving cop

The rep was a historical Soviet communist

He called the gal to see how she was his calls were ignored

It came out she fled to her relative away from the city

6 months pregnant by the red rep plus 3 kids with the cop

His calls and texts went thru to the cop di...

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call centredifferent agentscommunism

Times Over

Times Over
The Fake God gloated and said
'Hey mate I win this round and for good'
He nodded and replied yes you win here
But not for good tho I'll accept the NTE
No disputes as numbers don't lie
Yes boss I know I failed in sales
Do what you will transfer or fire me
I'll transfer you to collections
Brian went on to say why did you
Follow me four times over Asia?
I worked in Bangkok and M...

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surreal situationsstrange bosscall centresatire

Now Different

Now Different

He once wondered if there was a rep

Who actually wore different coloured footwear?

He wondered this for years a stupid thought

And then there he was a rep in different shoes!

The rep appeared to be a narcissist by image

With one arm fully tattooed and tied back hair

An air of importance surrounded him

He wasn't a manager or boss just a rep

Not necessarily b...

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quirkydifferent trainerscall centre

Big Fat 0

Big Fat 0

The rep ended the year with 0 sales

There were 10 selling reps in total

9 got sales and 1 didn’t get any

The other 9 got between 1 and 11

Number 10 rep was pegged at 0

He got 7 sales in October

And 5 in November but before then

Both August and September were 0

Why are the rep’s sales up and down?

He doesn’t know and does his best

He would have 2 or 3 but ...

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salescall centrebad metrics

Chalk Times

Chalk Times

The reps wondered what the chalk marks were in the office

On a couple of work stations in the coaching office

On the managers desk in the sleeping quarters

In the rest room by the gym area and other places

It was where their randy coach had bonked 3 other agents!

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call centreeroticbonking

Managers’ Monday

Managers’ Monday

The agents dial the leads and opportunities to try to get sales

One rep has 77 manual dials and no more

Another had 47 manual dials plus 340 outbound dials

Others have similar numbers none under 200

The 88 rep got beasted off his sup for laziness

And was made to promise to step up and do more calls

Each agent had to count then report the call numbers

The TL...

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salescall centrepressure

Power Mad

Power Mad

The power mad manager threatened to fire the worker

Who made a customer’s account so he could get the sale

This never happened for the manager saw it happen

Cancelled the new account almost fired the worker

Never said well done for using initiative or adeptness

He was power tripping made an example of him

Nobody will create a new account without my Yes!

Even if it...

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salespower tripping bosscall centre

Same Song

Same Song

The song is the same on this account

Quite similar to the song on your account

Our beat is different you’ve more bass

The words are the same you relate

A song about a job where all isn’t fine

It was at first then it changed

The reasons don’t matter what does

Is the fact you get it my feelings

My sentiment to the bosses

Who treat us like cannon fodder

Food...

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call centrejob stressburn out

Moral Corruption

 

 

Moral Corruption

There was once a boss who was so vain

With long hair like a girl

He ran his fingers thru this

And swished his tail and his locks

Oh look such a pretty Alpha male boss

With all the selling skills and power

He had a 2nd in command a lieutenant

Whose position was higher than his chair

Both used a 3 step selling technique

It got good results for...

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corruptcall centremanagers

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