Toilet (Remove filter)

Cultus Decorum

The bladder alarm rings, it’s time to go

No platted legs will dam this river flow

Locate the door, and start to walk

This is when we cease to talk


Brace yourself, we are going in

Assume bland face, we must not grin

Place hand on wood and push the door

And hope no one’s pissed on the floor


Cabin or trough, that is the choice

Are you man or mouse? begs your inner...

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Fake Believe



Fake Believe

I walk these majestic corridors of the huge tower block

Skyscraper clawing down the sky into the earth

Thirty two floors above ground

And ten below where anything goes

Tell me, what’s down there?

Ornate toilets fit for a king

That I use three times a night

When I have a right big shit

And wash my armpits, tonsils and nipples on the bidet


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Standing there silently
Just having a wee
Staring at the wall
‘Cos there's nothing to see
Just wiggling it about
To alter the stream
Peace and tranquility
Is not what it seems
There’s ying and yang 
And other forces at play
The imps are at work
Set to ruin your day
It starts at that moment
When the bladders half empty
Half ...

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Bawdy humourComedyToilet

Pringles' Bladder

Pringles' Bladder
You know what it's like 
Enjoying a beer
The company of mates
Cracking atmosphere
It's a great first pint
You knock it back
And get another in
Whilst enjoying the craic
The drinks just flow
As the night goes on
Round after round
Has been and gone
But your bladder is filling
With the fifth drink
But a trip to the toi...

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