HI Melissa, I really enjoyed your poem. You always craft them so well. So full of deep thoughts. It really shows what kind of person you are and that you have a heart of gold! take care clarissa

Comment is about Fine Line (blog)

HI Louise, this is great! Boy I remember those days, they do change and it seems better. Its like being on a never ending roller coaster, being a parent. Enjoy all of it, the good times are better and worth it all.great poem!

Comment is about New Arrival (blog)

Original item by Louise Fazackerley

HI Louise, I enjoyed this poem of yours very much. It reminded me of my own times with my kids when they were little. Its ok to cry when your a Mom, I call it a "Mommy Moment" we love them so much and crave our time with them. Fond memories forever. Great poem!

Comment is about A Walk in the Park (blog)

Original item by Louise Fazackerley

HI Alex, interesting poem. You really thought alot about this subject. I do understand the draw for men to watch porn.But to be obsessed with it is a problem.At a point in life some time in the future, you may find it was a waste of time and possible money.We all have this animal inside, but the key is to control it and not let it dominate you. There really is so much to life that has nothing to do with sex. I think you understand that. Good write!

Comment is about Pornography (blog)

Original item by alex iamb

HI alex, thats really good, you speak very fast and I could understand every word.One tip, you dont need to date girls that are shallow, she should like you for who you are, not how much you make. nice work

Comment is about Break Up In Two Breaths (blog)

Original item by alex iamb

Its lovely to see someone having so much fun with rhyme. Beautiful stuff. Daisy Chain Summer especially.

Comment is about Louise Fazackerley (poet profile)

Original item by Louise Fazackerley

*fun*

Comment is about alex iamb (poet profile)

Original item by alex iamb

i like your intelligent-yet-smutty vibe going on. and all the wordplay is fun to read. yes, wordplay is my idea of un :-)

Comment is about alex iamb (poet profile)

Original item by alex iamb

Alison, when will you put new stuff up? I all love these, but speshly Loss on Paper. I want to read more of your words! :-)

sally

Comment is about Alison Mary Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

hiya jeff. yep, it's the one i did at 'poetry brew'. i'm a bit ambivalent about it myself- i think it's more for on the stage than on the page :-)

Comment is about New Arrival (blog)

Original item by Louise Fazackerley

ah, wow. i like your work. i'm happy in your cooking story and ashamed of myself with your chicken poem. may have to come along to one of your events :-)

Comment is about Dominic Berry (poet profile)

Original item by Dominic Berry

Hey, great minds think alike.
Only i'll take my water in the mornin'.
probly with a couple of aspirin.
Cheers.

Comment is about Beijing calling (blog)

Hi Antonio, this is excellent, some great lines here and some well raised issues brought to the fore and summarised well in your lines which are very well linked.

I couldn't believe the news (well I could) where the woman had her house knocked down to make way for some facilities and wasn't even compensated, thats the Olympic spirit!!!

Thanks for your comments on my seasons poem especially getting over the cliche of the subject. I know what you mean about starting in January but in my usual depressing way I did want to start with life and end with death while the seasons start again. cheers Jeff

Comment is about Beijing calling (blog)

Not only is this very up to date, which admittedly is not unusual for you. But its pretty fast too.
I think this is one of the best you done in a while.
Lots o love and i'll open another bottle beer to celebrate with you.
J. xxx

Comment is about Beijing calling (blog)

They get you thinking those walks in the park! Good stuff, interesting last two lines, Jeff

Comment is about A Walk in the Park (blog)

Original item by Louise Fazackerley

Hi Louise, very nice, if its the same one that you did at wigan in the cafe, liked it then, Jeff

Comment is about New Arrival (blog)

Original item by Louise Fazackerley

Hi Melissa, love this, so many challenging thoughts skilfully put -

Some play the soldier,
saving lives,
but are they truly rewarded
or left behind?

How true and all we can think is why to all of this. I'm writing something with a similar thought behind it, poem quite different though. But yes, enjoyed this, will read it again!

Thanks for your kind comment about my 'Seasons' poem. I'm sorry Melissa but I've changed the photo while I was amending some of the words after feedback! You will see why if you have another look, I've improved poem and pic is more reflective, Jeff X

Comment is about Fine Line (blog)

This is quite fast paced and very funny in parts.
I love the honesty in the whole of that last stanza.
Most of us can connect with it, i'm sure.
I'm a bit unsure of the word "dichotomy" though, in the context in which you've used it.
It seemed to jump off the page at me and screamed,"i shouldn't be here."

Oh well. I do like this one too.
Janet.x

Comment is about alex iamb's big I thank you (blog)

Original item by alex iamb

Some twins were raped, left for dead in a park
But we've engineered mice that glow in the dark!

Sums it up and I think you're right for a lot of papers, what really gets on my wick is the pathetic puns they use for headlines, some so bad I wouldn't have bothered!

Well done some good lines, cheers Jeff

Comment is about My Tabloid Hell (blog)

Original item by alex iamb

TK. a new name for the devil.
Yeah, i like this poem too.
I can picture this being read out loud at an open-mic event. Good show!
Janet.x

Comment is about The Trouble With Tk (blog)

Original item by alex iamb

Very funny, can imagine you in the shop! Get yourself to CA Alex! cheers

Comment is about Cocaine and Crossword Puzzles (blog)

Original item by alex iamb

Hi Alex, like this, bet its good live, let me know if you need a hand when the grape peelin nubile asians turn up, cheers Jeff

Comment is about alex iamb's big I thank you (blog)

Original item by alex iamb

Hello,
I stopped buying tabloid newspapers years ago.
Partly because of the reasons you've expressed so well in your poem, and partly because even our local newspapers focus more on what's going on down in the south rather than in our own districts.
Most of 'em are not much more interesting than a magazine gossip column.

Whooh! thanks for allowing me to get that off me chest.
Janet.x

Comment is about My Tabloid Hell (blog)

Original item by alex iamb

Thank you, everyone for all your wonderful comments. :)

Comment is about Across The Page (blog)

Cheers. Viva 2008, hope everyone has a great year!

Comment is about Duffy (poet profile)

Original item by Duffy

That's the beauty of poetry - it's subjective. To me, I enjoyed those lines. Work on the rest!
Only joking Phil. This is light hearted fun that would work fine in performance. Speaking of which, you were noted for your absence at Wigan's last open mic event.C'mon, you know it makes sense. See you on the 14th?

Comment is about City my City (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

Hi Philip, If you'd left the 4th line without the disappointed bit and dropped the specsaver line, this would be even more humorous than it already is.
In my very wombly experience and opinion.

Thanks, Janet.x

Comment is about City my City (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

Hi, My mum's still with us, she used to knit all our woolly jumpers in winter, even worked on a wool stall, so got it at discount prices too.
Trouble came when i wanted to knit my own, as she is left handed to my right.
Her auntie was a great one for the horses.
Picked in the top 3 every time.
Mmm, must remember to try and contact her from spirit.
Great memory jerker, Janet.x

Comment is about Knitting (blog)

Original item by Malpoet

Hi Antonioni,
Thanks for your comments on my blog entry 'Helpless'
I've tried one sonnet and it was not easy. perhaps I'll post it for your opinion. I enjoyed the image you created from the pictures on your daughter's wall. I liked the last line too.

Comment is about Stars stuck (blog)

My mum never knitted but your poem made me think of her. She liked her woodbine too, a long time ago. The last two lines say it all Thank you.

Comment is about Knitting (blog)

Original item by Malpoet

Wobble, Thanks Darren but I think I'll stick with it. I see what you mean, connotations of Rowan-Atkinson, who knows how to make wobble work his mouth, but the line -You wobble between parallel worlds - I like the sound the words make together in this line. I found this reference in wiktionary, 'The Earth wobbles slowly on its axis' and - Intransitive verb - To vacillate in one's opinions. - I'm wobbling between the Liberals and the Greens.
and in wikepedia, 'Milankovitch wobble, the change in the axial tilt, axial precession and orbital eccentricity of the earth over long periods' this made me happy with the word in the poem. No tuts and groans though. I love your comments and am very grateful for the advice and interest. I've learnt from it Thank you, please continue.

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Hi Richard,
Sorry about the misinterpretation of your poem.
I read it 3 times and got the same feeling each time. It was as if he enjoys the silence of being alone but she simply feels lonely.
The bereft feeling i got was whenever he was about to leave.
I've just read it again and felt the same. Perhaps it's the punctuation or the way it's laid out on the page, but i'm certainly not the one to ask how it would read any differently.
Maybe other poets would see what is intended. But that's the beauty of good poetry. Each person who reads it will "see" something different, depending on how it relates to them.
Love Janet.x

Comment is about Richard Brooks (poet profile)

Original item by Richard Brooks

This is a great piece delivered with your usual wry observations. The last two lines, and their simplicity, say so much in just five words.

Comment is about Knitting (blog)

Original item by Malpoet

I will have to have another look Richard when I'm on train, it was highlighting dyslexia in some context but can't remember if it was just raising awareness.

Good to hear you're back look forward to more of your work, and will appreciate your comments. Didn't know you did films as well, nice one! cheers Jeff

Comment is about Dsyelxic? I tihnk not! (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Hiya Carol,
I really felt this poem quite strongly.
Having lived with an alcoholic for several years, any addiction causes these feelings of bitterness, hopelessness and helplessness when the addicted seems to want to give up being as they are but seemingly do not give it any real effort.
Thoughtfully written but hard hitting truth also.
Thankyou, it reminded me of some very hard times but also made me realize how much i've managed to forgive.
Love Janet.xx

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Hi Antonioni, for a minute there i thought you'd been to Madame Tussauds.
No offence to your daughter.
Great rhythm once again, good stuff. Keep 'em comin' as they say in the carry on movies.
Love Janet.xxx

Comment is about Stars stuck (blog)

Ha ha, even though i know it's not funny for a dyslexic.
" it took me a while to figure out "strange,"
but strnage this one definitely is.
Janet.x

Comment is about Dsyelxic? I tihnk not! (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Hi Richard,
There are parts of your poem where i became, not a little confused.
"Your loneliness is my bliss,, cos you're feeling alone, i enjoy your kiss." These words make sense in that one persons being alone can be bliss for another, probably due to not getting enough time for self.

The 2 small stanzas, somehow left me bereft.
The sealed envelope sends shivers down my spine but the ending is fabulous.

Great to see you back. love Janet.xx

Comment is about As I Leave (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

thanks for the comments Jeff, I guess I had writers block of some kind, need to start writing films again for when I return to uni so been trying to turn to this writing more and been reading and stuff. I'll catch up on your poems soon, what adverts are these? Take care

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Hi Richard, how's it going? What you been up to, not heard from you for a while?

Did you see my poems for July. The last one, about the man in the moon, was for my daughter, but the other two are very deep, the first one 'When will it pass' is personal.

Appreciate your thoughts if you haven't seen them, cheers Jeff

Comment is about Richard Brooks (poet profile)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Hi Richard, on yer bike! I wondered where you had been!! Good fun, cheers Jeff

There's been some similar dyslexic adverts on the train station.

Comment is about Dsyelxic? I tihnk not! (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Hi Richard!

We sit and try to figure out what it all means
how far does the universe go
will a parallel universe allow us to live out our dreams?

Brilliant, been thinking the same thing, only got frustrated and wished I hadn't bothered!

This is a great poem, too many good things to list, lovely lines though very thoughtful and very poignant, great stuff Jeff

Comment is about As I Leave (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Nice one Ant, I think they'd be struggling! Although I'm sure there'd ahve been something else, but maybe different people, who knows, cheers Jeff

Comment is about Stars stuck (blog)

Hi Carol, this is powerful stuff, and like Mel says its not preaching, more showing frustration about someone not doing what they really need to do, maybe to save their life?

Broken promises, excuses etc yes, it all sounds familiar to me, but there comes a time when one can only go so low, and while it can be heart breaking for those on the outside, hopefully the one on the inside will pull through, they just can't give up hope and they will do it.

Brilliantly written some very thought provoking lines to think about, best wishes Jeff

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

...and doing it is not the same as doing it right!

Hi Carol. There is a frustration and anger coating these words, which itself seems to suggest a personal experience of somebody close. It's disturbing how, even today, we cannot utter the word 'drugs' without it conjuring up all kinds of negative images. In your poem you have managed to say many things about a users mentality without even mentioning drugs at all. This technique - i like.However, you have a wonderful skill of including solitary words that stand out when I read your work. Is this intentional!?
In this case it's the word 'wobble'. There are no written rules, but 'wobble' has too much of a comedy onamatopeic (?) feeling to it. It belongs in jelly poems or juvenile poems about large breasts or other bits that are likely to do nothing else but wobble, if they are abused and not something as serious as this subject is usually considered. Unless of course, I have mis-read what it is that you're trying to say.
There are many poets on this site. Many of the female poets are exceptional and regularly produce work that I really do enjoy reading and there are those that are worth (in my opinion) commenting upon and offering advice. Unless of course, you believe Oscar Wilde's ideology about advice!
So, I would have another look at 'wobble' and ask yourself - does this poem deserve a 'wobble'? Is it suited to a 'wobble'. Is there another word that could absorb the 'wobbly animation' connatation and show us in a manner in which the rest of the poem deserves?
Feel free to tut and groan at this point.
As they say - keep on writing!

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Hi Sean, what a superb poem, like a tribute in short story, lovely - love the lines

And everyone’s a stool pigeon at the Mucky Duck
Hitch hiking on their pensions for a glass of Guinness
The barmaid wears cheap hooped earrings
A present from her incarcerated lover.

Just one thing and its only me being pedantic, it should be - Your footfalls and - vines were never, it just interrupted the flow of a great poem -

Great lines though, very poignant and sad at the end, but a moving finish, look forward to more, cheers Jeff
Loads of great lines

Comment is about Little Digmoor (blog)

Hi Ant...

Now, it's no secret that I enjoy this type off poetry. Work that begins to show the reader instead of telling them what they should be seeing in their mind's eye.
I think the concept of how these stars would appear today is fascinating, but is answered in someway by today's definition of 'celebrity'. Just about anybody who can convince the rest of us that they are famous for nothing more than not wanting to remain anonymous.
Those 'sonnets' appear to have a hold on you at the moment but I sense that you're beggining to shift in your style. This is good news. Experimentation spawns many things - not least, more inspiration.
The last line caused me to wrinkle the bridge of my nose with thought and imagination - 'life's visual poem' is a great phrase.

Comment is about Stars stuck (blog)

nicely written Dave, as ever. It was so descriptive I could almost have been there; which is why I hated it so much.

Comment is about Hovis in Wonderland : Latitude Festival 2008 (blog)

Original item by Dave Morgan

Wonderful Sean

Comment is about The Shrink (blog)

i really like this poem. I enjoyed the rawness, passion and the honesty. I particularly enjoyed the ending...it is inspirational, without coming across as preachy. Lovely

Mel
x

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki