Julian has written a superb alternative version but it seems unfair to upstage the original on the comments thread. I say that as his version did upstage the original. That said Alex's poem is good its just slight to be showcased I think, then again theres no choice in the matter.

Im like Malcolm in that what I get from the poem, I feel is not what Alex put in (though I may be wrong of course)

it is a very sexual poem, especially with the use of purple and knees wide apart, its only this implication that saves it for me.

"Outside, a girl is sitting -
knees wide apart - on a bench
enjoying a lunch-hour smoke.

Her unbuttoned coat
is spread open, its lining
a purple sheen"


this could be developed a little further, the religion thing just turns me off straight away.The religion thing makes me just want to be promiscuous in order to rebel against the implied authority.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Apollinarie
A Pauline Air
Appalling hair

Excellent

The purple innards of the ripe fig too. Much imagery and suggestiveness here.

Maybe not a Damascene conversion, but a delightfully executed one.

This is far better. Thanks Julian.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

I find it easier to type within the body of the poem - will send this one soon

Comment is about Empathy (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

A Pauline air
lent by
plain purple-shrouds,
so not Damask and,
thus, less figurative.

So, simply,
I am seduced by her
Sheening simplicity.
The purple lining
Lures like
a ripe fig’s innards.

And yet I know
her fag fumes
will give her
appalling hair.

C'est pas mal du tout, Alex!

Merci.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

I hadn't seen this before as I think it was just posted a while back in Alex's profile and hadn't seen any of his work as I recall, having said that it is intriguing even though I know little about Appollinaire.

I agree with Isobel, it could have said a little more, but maybe it wasn't meant to?

It also sounds quite voyeuristic with the girls possibly purposeful seductiveness, you can rely on me not to miss something like that!

An interesting choice, but could have been just that bit better, Jeff

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Bravo Martin! We have them here to. Bush was a right wing fascist, now we have the far left wing fascist. No balance, all scum sucking cheats.Poor fools that voted for them.God help the world. good poem!

Comment is about Powerful Politics (blog)

Original item by Martin Nelson

Can't really connect with the connection to surrealism... although Apollinaire's friend Picasso loved the colour purple too.. love the slightly contrasting images, I wonder the relaxed chick on the bench Is she a madonna with a fag? ..on the whole the poem nicely balanced.

Gus

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

I have had a think about it.

No it's not really very good. Superficial.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

I like this a lot for its simplicity and clarity, yet strong sense of the link between inside and outside. It does have credit because the writer has observed and given thought to the link of colours and put it into words. Nice one. I like churches and often walk in just to absorb the atmosphere , so this really drew me in.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

"Hi Peter,
i'm not political and you know it so i won't go there. :-)

I actually like Kentucky fried chicken burgers and fries with a large coke. I can live without it but i do enjoy it on occasion. Maybe i should eat more. I could do with a bit of meat on my bones. Keep out the cold, wintry stuff for good!

Janet.x


"

Janet thats so honest!!!!!!!!!!! and yes thats how it works, the mono sodium has such lasting appeal, such binding temptation, never goes awy.

are the word police watching> ? I said 'binding temptation' makes no sense, oh dear.

Thanks Janet for reading
Steve e o cheers n Gus ma dears.

Comment is about Supersize (blog)

Hi, tried to find your profile but it's a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack. Sorry for the cliche there. :-)

I think it's because of the drowning sensation as well as the hash rocks falling like a comet.
I saw lava in the imagery, please don't ask me to explain my imagery, it often varies from other peoples. I like the poem but it does make me feel a little strange. I tend to feel rather than think too much about the words. That is how i climb inside a poem. :-)

Janet.x

Comment is about randomidnightreflections iii (blog)

Original item by owen calvert

"burstin Jean seams
means greed" -- quintessentially Crompton.

People shouldn't eat mass produced, globally marketed, greased up food. When society industrializes food, the stuff ceases to be food. It is not sourced locally; the ingredients are not prepared with love, so it is not food.

Pete, they are still talking in New Brighton about your appearance at last month's Bards. Come again.

Comment is about Supersize (blog)

How odd, i got a plummetting feeling reading this poem. Was that intentional?

Janet.x

Comment is about randomidnightreflections iii (blog)

Original item by owen calvert

Hi Jeff,
i enjoyed this poem at Middleton.
Glad you blogged it to show the rhythm in writing. Nice one!

Sorry, can't be at Wigan Saturday. Some of us need to be earning, not spending.
Maybe in another realm or time warp.
Good luck though. ( sorry to tell you Bolton will lose.) :-)

Janet.x

Comment is about Manchester Ritz (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Hi Peter,
i'm not political and you know it so i won't go there. :-)

I actually like Kentucky fried chicken burgers and fries with a large coke. I can live without it but i do enjoy it on occasion. Maybe i should eat more. I could do with a bit of meat on my bones. Keep out the cold, wintry stuff for good!

Janet.x

Comment is about Supersize (blog)

Yeah, this poem works. It's neat; it paints a simple image, yet one that evokes ancient mystery and ritual as well as casual modern ways. Don't know that it has got much of a connection with Appollinaire except that churches and sex were among his themes, and that for all his avante-garde connections, he had a fascination with the ancient world. I like the poem but it is rather slight to be showcased in this slot.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

There is another side to the USA read the late Alister Cooke...or listen to some of his recorded
Letter from America...but it did take Englishman to do it... All in all I suppose that you are not far away..but isn't it here already with a different accent same consumerism after all???

The poem is wonderful, English and full of passion... just like you
Love it
PS I 'm off for my Op next Thursday... when I get out ...we must get together for a serious discussion re set up logistics etc, ... I take you are still interested??
Gus

Comment is about Supersize (blog)

I still write the rudest things when i play the same game... must be a man thing
Pete once again ...you have done it again ...
well observed.tasty, feel the pleasre, feel the momentary irritations...
Great!
Gus

Comment is about Accepting Imperfection (blog)

Nice poem.

Comment is about Accepting Imperfection (blog)

very nice poem, fast pace. I know yall dont see things that we do, and we see things yall dont. On a nice note, Colonel Sanders was said to be a very nice ,humble man, true or not, I cant say. For Southern Mothers on a Sunday, he made life a bit more easy. You could go get all that would be a normal dinner.I dont recall us doing that. Fried chicken, fresh beens, and mashed potatos and gravy was the norm, with biscuits. Then it was time for Bluebell ice cream. Those were the days of milk and honey. A ride on a tractor, through the cotton fields, to see the oil wells. Those days are over, everyones fat and lazy, on drugs, and I could go on and on. They are druged, by the ones in power!Polluted by the ones in power. I hope they change. Ps nothing better the a milk shake or a rootbeer float! Home made fried chicken is the BOMB!!!! Cool poem, wish I was not from such a hated place, its not all bad yall, and others helped the problems happen and they live with yall.

Comment is about Supersize (blog)

Well merci Beacoup Francine.
vous pensez toujours je suis marrant! LOL

Comment is about Accepting Imperfection (blog)

Salut toi!
J'aime déjà beaucoup le titre... et j'ai hâte de lire ce que ça va devenir...

'I like the confusion
blank looks
over your pretty head
if I talk of mechanics and silly man things'

'what will become of lovers games
if nothing to tease so tame about?'

'I’m a fiesty sentence stringer too
but
I’ll not turn the saint to sinner in her just yet'

'I recall I get annoyed
at all your mess
once again dismiss the thought
pass the test of accepting imperfection.'


Voilà le sujet de chaque poème ; )

Comment is about Accepting Imperfection (blog)

Maybe it was chosen because of its understatement and simplicity. I also think it had potential to say a lot more - but then I am rather a rambly poet and have never been able to do short and sweet.
Congratulations Alex.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Hi All, really enjoyed writing and performing this, see you at Wigan tomorrow if you're going! Cheers Jeffarama! X

Comment is about Manchester Ritz (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Lydia :) NEVER let the truth get in the way of a good story .

Comment is about The Lying Woman (blog)

Original item by Lydia

Made me laugh and remember the time all my family stock piled tins and made contingency plans at the turn of the century. Boy doesn't that make me sound old?

Comment is about Sunday, Speakers Corner (blog)

Is it better to lie than to hurt someones feelings?
or to make them feel better?
I doubt it.

Love the twist at the end of your poem,
nice one.
Janet.x

Comment is about The Lying Woman (blog)

Original item by Lydia

You went for tea at my nan's house then?
Cx

Comment is about Doctor Curio (article)

Not sure what it has got to do with Apollinaire unless he thinks that the image is surreal. I don't.

The image is quite interesting. The girl with a purple lined coat and given a sort of halo by the sun identifies quite well with the guady imagery of some Catholic or high Anglican churches.

I quite like thinking of a girl with relaxed coat, sexually ambiguous pose and smoking fag in a stained glass window or in a stations of the cross series. It contrasts with and challenges the carefully contrived folds of Mary's cloak; the daintily contrived positions and strategically placed arms, leaves, etc. The effortless relaxation as opposed to all the suffering of tortured execution and grief of the observers.

She becomes more of a saint to me than those inside the church and she is anything but 'of the same religion'.

I am sure what I get from the poem is not what Smith put into it, but there you go.

For me it is worth being the poem of the month because it has given me what I describe above. Is it a good poem? Dunno really. I will think about it.

Comment is about On a theme of Apollinaire (article)

Good luck to her but a poisoned chalice, millstone and straitjacket rolled into one if there is such a thing.

Comment is about Carol Ann Duffy - Poet Laureate (article)

I adore this lady, who radiates warmth and welcomed me when I needed encouragement to grow as a writer.

It is her influence on me and my writing, as a person and a tutor / mentor that has taken me to heights I would not have reached before .

Comment is about Carol Ann Duffy - Poet Laureate (article)

Oui Steve, je pense que c'était une photo pris par Lee Miller : )

Comment is about Steve O'Connor (poet profile)

Original item by Steve O'Connor

the only way I can get anything out at the moment is to just do 'one takers' as I call them. Never finished, but they never are, wants chopping, the final cut will do that nicely, thanx 4 the read. Im really getting into non narrative work too, have you tried that. Super. Ill start a topic on it for us.

Comment is about beyond beyond and before before (blog)

Hi Peter
Tis is very energetic...save the last stanza (verse)
which almost shouts I do not really and honestly belong to this poem.

love ya millions x
Gus

Comment is about beyond beyond and before before (blog)

Very nice poem, so full of questions, that so many wonder about.All you can do is have hope. You are here and alive, you question, thus you are. ah deep stuff. great poem

Comment is about beyond beyond and before before (blog)

Yep, its all hype! Im sure we all may have had it here. The worst was, in my opinion, the 4am headache with all day neck pain. Then about a week later all got some tummy thing. I have read that this strain cant happen without a lab being involved. Dont know for sure, but hope not many die from it, its never good for anyone to die. I read in Egypt they are killing all pigs, shows just how smart they are there.People are such sheep, they believe anything the TV says. great poem. hope your well.

Comment is about Sunday, Speakers Corner (blog)

Thank you Sian for taking the time to read and comment on my poems... so appreciated... and as the saying goes:
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.'

Comment is about sian howell (poet profile)

Original item by sian howell

So looking forward to seeing you again at hebden next month !!! soon I love this piece I felt the grass touch my face as i bent down to listen

Comment is about Scar (blog)

Original item by Deborah Jordan Bailey

i thought i had commented on this , but perhaps only in my head :)

tis a funny one aye , and kinda loving too

Comment is about "HAVE AT HIM TOMKINS HE'S A BLOODY POET" (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

the end especially rings true with me , but then i am a girl child for the rest of it

Comment is about beyond beyond and before before (blog)

Very well written Mike, superb arrangements of words and potent content. Visual dream.Sombre and dark dreamlike, glimmers of hope, shadows of insecurites. EXCELLENT and a re- read as Gus says, you re read re read and it just grows. Lovely stuff'
what the heck is goin on in there Mike, fabulous.

Comment is about Swan (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Hi. Nice to see u on here ...I didn't know u were the guy at Hulme who read so beautifully and it is a pleasure to see ur work on here and I do admire your style a lot. Thanks for reminding me that we have met before :) think there was a problem with chat earlier.

TC speak /see soon

Good luck with degree . I have just finished 2nd yr of MA and feel very 'light'

Comment is about Simon Rennie (poet profile)

Original item by Simon Rennie

Hi Mike
This is very special...I have read three or four times through... its a story that rings several bells within me...
Superb... great rythmic flow... love it

Gus
PS Nice to meet you, albeit briefly last Sunday

Comment is about Swan (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Now that's what i call funny.
Grand.

Janet.x

Comment is about "HAVE AT HIM TOMKINS HE'S A BLOODY POET" (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Well that is praise indeed... you are very kind, of course I am not like this in real life ...just a quiet old grey thing.

Gusx

Comment is about sian howell (poet profile)

Original item by sian howell

Hi Deb,
this took me aback a little at first read, but the second reading became much clearer.
I love the layers and the echoes. Diving into the tunnel and out again, symbolically. :-)
Using whatever is available in the form of warmth, (rabbit pelts and scraps of wool).

As Gus says, superb!
Janet.x

Comment is about Scar (blog)

Original item by Deborah Jordan Bailey

Cheers guys, much appreciated.

Comment is about Simon Rennie (poet profile)

Original item by Simon Rennie

Yes Ditto Ditto... The very best of luck with your exams!
See you soon
Gus

Comment is about Simon Rennie (poet profile)

Original item by Simon Rennie

Good luck with the exams: hope they go very well indeed.

Comment is about Simon Rennie (poet profile)

Original item by Simon Rennie

Thankas for your comments on 'Requiem' - much appreciated.
I don't always comment on your work, but I do like it, tend to identify with it too. I think there are a few of us on here who are a little bruised by love, life, and the universe!
Cx

Comment is about sian howell (poet profile)

Original item by sian howell