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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Fri 24th Jul 2009 20:04

Here's to those Japanese art students who 'remade' Tracy Emins bed!

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Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 24th Jul 2009 19:46

This is really good, Emily. You have an great flair for words and phrasing of very original ideas. I look for more. If you don't see a comment from me on a poem, ask me about it, for I probably will have only overlooked it.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 24th Jul 2009 19:31

Despite such fine ideas and the obvious desire to make a good poem , I find this still more like an exercise than a finished product. Tighten it up with exactly the right words that basically scan consistently and rhyme well. Weak rhyme should be used only sparingly.

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Original item by Dave Dunn

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Fri 24th Jul 2009 16:22

Thank you for your comments Andy. The line you object to is in fact central to the poem: It lays in the center 6 th line of 11 and is pivotal as that night was to spin around for days to come...

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Jon

Fri 24th Jul 2009 15:10

Hi Tommy,
Just read through your first posted poem.Really like this one and the message in it!

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<Deleted User> (5646)

Fri 24th Jul 2009 14:41

Hello Cynthia and thanks for your comment on ''the healer'' poem.
Truth is i'm all out of steam right now and can't be bothered any more. Telling is what i do and if it isn't good enough then maybe i shouldn't be here at all but i doubt you've seen the last of me because i actually enjoy writing ''performance'' poetry and my technique is slowly but surely improving.
I do enjoy reading between the lines of ''page'' poetry but as for writing it? Well, i leave that to the ones who are best at it. :-)

I've enjoyed your recent blog posts and will continue to read. Thanks again,
Janet.

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Andy N

Fri 24th Jul 2009 14:10

good stuff, pete..

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Andy N

Fri 24th Jul 2009 14:09

The twist is nice, m8... Feels a bit long to get to it to me - you may want to think about one or two lines for example 'The way you knew who we were that night' seems a bit un-needed to me.. Nice poem thou!

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Cate Greenlees

Fri 24th Jul 2009 13:00

I went to the Tate once and there were a load of train tracks laid out all across one gallery floor, painted red blue and green repeatedly. No one but no one is gonna convince me this was art worth buying, or leaving for posterity!!!!!
Cate xx

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Jon

Fri 24th Jul 2009 12:20

The Last Verse -Really good to read something along these lines and v.touching! I also appreciate your comments on my poem too.

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Jon

Fri 24th Jul 2009 12:17

The Gallery v.funny n true! Thanks for your comment on my poem also.

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Jon

Fri 24th Jul 2009 12:15

Thanx for the comment John.Definetely see you on Sat.

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Fri 24th Jul 2009 11:05

: )

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Steve Regan

Fri 24th Jul 2009 11:00

Cynthia, that’s an unusual and beautifully expressed eulogy. I feel sure it was appreciated. Writing and delivering a eulogy is always difficult - and nearly always a privilege.

I can certainly relate to your poem.

I did the eulogy for at my dad’s funeral in Wigan four years ago. He cane from a devout Roman Catholic family, and family members were, of course, present at the funeral service, but Dad himself a Humanist. So we hired a “preacher” from the British Humanist Society to conduct the service, and he was eloquent and dignified, I have to say.

The only person to mention God during the service was me, just once, at the end of my eulogy, when I called for the repose of Dad’s soul. But even now I wonder if I did the right thing. In the end, I did what my conscience told me to, which is all any of us ever can do in such circumstances.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 24th Jul 2009 09:54

I do too, Amanda. I needed to read it more than once, but everything fell into place with more attention...it's really good, pulls you in (or down) with you; very well constructed.

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Francine

Fri 24th Jul 2009 09:36

So eloquently written...
Amazing how things can trigger long forgotten memories...

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 24th Jul 2009 09:27

Great social jibe

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 24th Jul 2009 09:26

dangerous practice but very good poem - really like its pointed brevity -

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 24th Jul 2009 09:13

short and to the point - super

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Chris Dawson

Fri 24th Jul 2009 09:07

Hi Cynthia,
Thank-you so much for reading and commenting on my work, I'm pleased you liked it.
I'm not sure what a 'flip off the end of the pen' poet is - I imagine someone who just throws it out and sees what happens - in which case, yes - mostly I am.
I have a friend who is (what I consider to be) a 'proper' writer - i.e. someone who gets paid for it! - and she's always urging me to put my writings away in a drawer for a couple of months and forget about them, then when I do re-visit them, she tells me, I will see more clearly and objectively how to edit. But mostly - I'm just too impatient for that!
Thanks again - I appreciate your input,
Cx

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<Deleted User> (8634)

Fri 24th Jul 2009 07:21

You must have a lot of money to buy that many lamb chops. Maybe you need to sleep less during the day, get up early and work like a dog all day - I find that helps.

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<Deleted User> (8634)

Fri 24th Jul 2009 07:07

Thanks for your comment on my poem - Blood Onion made me want to cry - you have written some good stuff.

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Isobel

Fri 24th Jul 2009 06:47

You make your point well Tommy - the media like to celebrate the success of tiny minorities. Reading your comment on POM I see that you are of the same opinion as Clarissa who in the racism thread offers her opinion that nothing will ever change over there whatever colour the leader. I find that pretty depressing - I'm a great 'believer' in having hope - and I just love Shirley Bassey.

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Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Isobel

Fri 24th Jul 2009 06:32

A humouress reflection on modern art. You could have collected together a pile of litter, arranged it just so and maybe won 2nd prize also! LOL

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Isobel

Fri 24th Jul 2009 06:23

A haunting one Pete but then I guess some memories are.

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clarissa mckone

Fri 24th Jul 2009 01:30

so true.

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Dave Bradley

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 21:18

Had to log in to agree with everyone else. Very very good.

The power (and civilising influence?) of curses shouldn't be underestimated. I was in another country which had better be nameless and remarked to a local on the respect with which the elderly were held. He agreed but then sadly commented that it had a lot to do with the younger generation wanted to avoid being cursed by the older.
Just think of the good you could do if people believed in your curses!

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Cate Greenlees

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 20:44

Lovely imagery here Anthony. A little gem.
Cate xx

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Cate Greenlees

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 20:37

Its still a beautiful and touching poem no matter what the time scale Cynthia, and I dont suppose grief for someone dear to you ever goes away. You just learn to live with it.
Cate xx

Comment is about The Last Verse (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Isobel

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 17:19

No need to apologise Cynthia - whether your mother's death was recent or 4 years ago doesn't change the nature of the poem. For me it is a poignant one that gives us a little insight into the relationship with your mother and gets me thinking about life, death and what it's all about - just like you have always done...That's what good poetry does,

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 17:13

As for 'crystal wand' , Janet: my first gut reaction was to make it specific with 'the crystal wand' since you are speaking of a definite accessory to the healing ritual, and propelling the reader headlong into your poem.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 16:03

Dear people, I am so sorry for the misunderstanding I've caused. This death of my mother was not recent. I couldn't believe I had been so careless in the posting, and you all have been so kind. One line of the 'explanation' didn't copy over. This poem was given as my contribution to the Eulogies at my mother's funeral. Hence the present tense of "Now .....the rest." Everything else is absolutely true. Once again, I'm so sorry.

Comment is about The Last Verse (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

<Deleted User> (5646)

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 15:48

AT LAST!!
a BL**DY FUNNY POEM!!!

Not a race in sight, and enough to make me actually log-in. Well done Anthony!

ps. hope it doesn't come back to you though.

Janet.x

Comment is about a curse - for the mildly irritating (blog)

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 15:00

haha! very good. There is one curse NOT contained in your poem that my family (males) used:
May your balls turn square
and rot at the corners!



well cursed!

Comment is about a curse - for the mildly irritating (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

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Isobel

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 14:31

Oooh Anthony - didn't know you had it in you to be so naughty. Hope I'm not on your list of wrong doers. This has the hint of a Celtic blessing gone delightfully wrong. May the roads rise up to applaud you....
Isobel x

Comment is about a curse - for the mildly irritating (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 13:51

There is as much going on in the comments as is in the poem. I love 'one sided political poetry' As I have been blessed with the Lenin's gift: The inability to see my enemy's point of view! Enough to know that they are what they are. Would someone please direct me towards a brilliant poem by a right wing bigot that does not contain bucolic imagery! This rant is a minute by minute 'forehead-to-bridge-of-nose' account of neo-conservatism- we need more much more angry stuff like this! I will add; that though the 'spokespersons' of neo-conservatism have left center stage, they're still in the wings and writing the script.

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Cate Greenlees

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 12:50

Oh what a touching poem Cynthia. Ive not faced losing my mother yet, but the thought fills me with dread. My heart goes out to you.
Cate xx

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Cate Greenlees

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 12:45

Yep... me too!!!! Sooooooo funny it had me laughing out loud!! Guess you just about cursed the whole of the human race here Anthony!! I just love clever wit.
Cate xx

Comment is about a curse - for the mildly irritating (blog)

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 12:15

pps...though I do have a ' high tolerance level ' for Seamus Heaney.

Comment is about Summing up Ted Hughes' poetry: (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 11:58

ps and an aside (re 'repetitious themes)..I remember after Quentin Tarrantino's second film (both involving underworld/gangster themes) critics worthily advised us all to wait and see if he had more than 1 string to his bow...and I sat there and thought...John Ford..22,000 cowboy films and...erm...no such criticism!

Comment is about Summing up Ted Hughes' poetry: (blog)

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 11:54

haha (AE) don't tempt me...please....

Comment is about Summing up Ted Hughes' poetry: (blog)

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Anthony Emmerson

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 11:50

Hi Tommy,
And welcome to WOL. I liked this brief pop at our past Laureate very much - sort of like "The Condensed Shakespeare Company!" It might be good to expand this idea to other poets guilty of the self-indulgence of repetitious themes. (I guess that's probably all of us then!)
Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Summing up Ted Hughes' poetry: (blog)

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Anthony Emmerson

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 11:37

Hi Cynthia,

Breavement is perhaps the most traumatic of life events. It often leaves the bereaved lost and their family and friends lost for words; except for the usual trite phrases. May comfort find you.
This is a very intimate glimpse of your relationship with your mother, made even more so by your footnote. It seems that at the last your mother found what she needed to allow her to let go, and "go gentle into that goodnight." Be good to yourself.
Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about The Last Verse (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 11:29

You bet your booties! Francine.

Anthony, this is hilarious. Love it - love it - LOVE IT. And it REEKS of REAL - no fantasizing here. Great piece. Give us more.

Comment is about a curse - for the mildly irritating (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

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Francine

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 11:14

Wow Anthony... didn't know you had this in you ; )
Some very funny lines here...
I always like to believe that what goes around, comes around...

Comment is about a curse - for the mildly irritating (blog)

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Isobel

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 08:39

Dave I agree with all you say. Thomas - I think you could have said more - we all know you have the words in you - but I guess you don't comment on many so you must have really liked it.
Cynthia - this is a personal moment share and one that really gets us all thinking.
Thank you.

Comment is about The Last Verse (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Isobel

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 01:32

Thanks to all for commenting - this obviously strikes a chord with many. I have to say - my favourite school nativity play anecdote has to be Peter Kayes - when as a child, he was cast as the inkeeper he jettisoned the immortal lines and said instead 'come inside, there is plenty of room...' - you can only imagine the kerfuffle that must have caused amongs his teachers...

Comment is about The School Play (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Isobel

Thu 23rd Jul 2009 00:50

Love your new book 'The Importance of Magic in the Void' and the lovely personal inscription you wrote for me. Will be sure to 'dip my feet in the colours of the earth' as often as I can... And to think I thought you were recommending the benefits of a walk in the park....

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Dave Bradley

Wed 22nd Jul 2009 22:53

This is really great. Common humanity - it works very well - we're there with you, we've all lived something like it.

Comment is about The School Play (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Dave Bradley

Wed 22nd Jul 2009 22:47

Hi Cynthia

This is very arresting, very effective and obviously very personal. Thanks for sharing it - hope you're OK

Comment is about The Last Verse (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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