I think this is quite dark. Have to say i think you could do more with this poem but wouldn't know how to explain the idea. Hope you don't mind my including my thoughts. I like it.

Janet.x

Comment is about Sister Mercy (blog)

Hi Dave,
Hope all is well with you, and thanks for comments on "Edge." I enjoyed your tale - and the implications of the possibilities of imagined continuations! Bilberries - my favourite, did you find some? A laborious task, but well worth it.
A hint of cynicism here:

Was he glad to avoid the cost of replacement

of ring

or woman?

But, like everyone else, I hope they lived happily ever after!

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Lost and found (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Bernie,
No Blackpool! Sacrilege! I love the place - with all its quirky imperfections. It always brings to mind that immortal phrase "all human life is here." Long may it continue.
Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Imagine (blog)

Hi Daniel,
I really like the idea of a "poetry bomb!" I think you have something here, that with careful editing and tidying up could be very original. Keep them coming.
Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about The strange death of a poet (blog)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

Hi Cate,
And thanks for dropping in on "Edge." I liked this a lot, your Grandfather seems like a wonderful role-model. With your musical talents I suspect that this would make a good song - or perhaps it is already? Good to see words like "mirps" resurrected, they enrich the language so much.
Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Our Gramps (blog)

Original item by Cate

hi janet
thanks for the comment you left on my poem 'theme:cruelty' opem - the joy of messy break ups hey!

really like this poem 'if I had a pound for...'
It's sadly a true depiction of some relationships!

Cat x

Comment is about If i had a pound for... (blog)

hi steve,

thanks for your lovely comments on my poem 'theme:cruelty'. Sadly is a true story behind the poem but I won't bore you with that!

I really like your 'love's lost curage'-fantastic! didn't know it was easy to find love in new brighton! - my mum's family are all from Wallasey!

Cat x

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

all the world was and is built by such gramps and grans! well done you! now playing marbles (in the gutter) lead to many minor infections but helped build the immune system (see George Carlin-swimming in the Hudson)

Comment is about Our Gramps (blog)

Original item by Cate

Very good, Emma. Read it three times, and liked it better each time. Thought-provoking.

Comment is about banality cont (blog)

Original item by Emma Roy- Williams

You are an absolute scream! It's like being a clown: you really have to be part genius and super-skilled in your craft to be really funny.

Comment is about A Bad Day In Heaven. (blog)

Super poem, Dave. Loved it. Never dropped tension for a beat, and character development is superb. Enjoyed all the possibilities of 'the situation' offered and thus open to other personal inferences.

Comment is about Lost and found (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Yes - on second reading I do think this should be poem of the month - so clever in structure and choice of words. I really wish we could nominate poems - I like this almost as much as 'Lifelines'.

Comment is about Edge (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

A lovely poem Cate - can't remember having heard it before. Particularly like the line 'this land was built on the sweat of his brow'. So wish I had known him. x

Comment is about Our Gramps (blog)

Original item by Cate

Cate

This is really good. It very effectively gets across some of the richness of life from the point of view of a child. It made me (and I suspect other readers) feel "I wish I had a grandad like that".

Thanks for your comments on Lost and Found. Not a great poem but it demanded to be written. It was good to meet at the Tudor and find we had things in common. And yes being alone on a camping tent is great for philosophising. But as the saying goes "sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits"

XX

Comment is about Our Gramps (blog)

Original item by Cate

Hi Winston

Thanks for your comments on Lost & Found. It IS strange how much significance can attach to a simple band of metal. I wonder if Tolkien wore a wedding ring.
I hope we meet one day, it would be good to hear you live. Well done for venturing on to Youtube

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hi Pete, great images conjured up here, great performance of it at the slam too. Cheers for great slot in Southport last night!!! Jeff

Comment is about this is war (blog)

Hi Belinda, good to see you again, hope you're well, like this especially the line about turps and beer, but might sound better saying 'An' odour rather than 'and' just a thought take care Jeff X

Comment is about Shoes - Draft 1 (blog)

Original item by Belinda

Thanks Winston.
Bernie

Comment is about Imagine (blog)

Hi Winston, thanks for your comments re "Imagine".
Bernie

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

ThanX Cate for comment on Someone in particular - its gone far better than I imagined and love performin it so did it again tonight lol, good to see you as always Jeff X

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Glad you approve Winston - have been taking some tips on punctuation - or at least not starting each sentence with a capital, as I used to. Thanks.

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Many thanks Winston..... all mistakes edited out!! "mirps" is an old Wigan word for marbles.
Cate xx

Comment is about Our Gramps (blog)

Original item by Cate

bravo, nice condensed words here. Win x

Comment is about Words (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Nice tale Dave, carried me along nicely. Personally I hurled my wedding and engagement rings into a river. Metal detector no use in that case! Some Smeagal like character may find it one day perhaps although it is not as powerful as the 'one ring' (or is it) winston

Comment is about Lost and found (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Ah, bit more direct with this one Marianne, not such an oblique aproach or maybe I am just less confused tonight? lol , liked a lot. Win

Comment is about Echo and Narcissus (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

ah, but everyone loves Blackpol. even the dark side! nice. Winston

Comment is about Imagine (blog)

Hi Cate

Your reminiscences really come through in this poem. Great source of inspiration your Gramps! Took me back and places me right inside the scenes you describe. Great. Win

you might want to think about these -
- (Minor) do you mean miner
- povery needs a 't'
- billycan is usually one word
- (mirps) what is this game?

Comment is about Our Gramps (blog)

Original item by Cate

.hello steve.....I don't understand your comment...I'm simply saying that if man disappears from the Earth there'll be no 'religion' or 'time'.....they're both 'man-made' ideas...you've interpreted something that's not there.......cheers for commenting.

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Orrrr wern`t you? Shame. I thought you were on your camping trip and philosophising about what was happening around you! Nice to meet you at the Tudor last night!
Cate xx

Comment is about Lost and found (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Excellent write Elvis, enjoyed? the read.
Bernie

Comment is about This Land's Not Your Land (article)

Thanks for commenting. The poem is based on an actual incident though I've elaborated. As one does (-;. For the avoidance of doubt I wasn't the bloke in the field

Comment is about Lost and found (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Steven,
Loved ur two poems last night at the Tudor,especially the Work related one! I've actually done one in a similar vein myself,as have a couple of others at Write Out Loud,so it seems we're not alone in our frustrations! Haha

Comment is about Steven Kenny (poet profile)

Original item by Steven Kenny

Or was he sorry to find it? Fascinating story - I would like to think that they were happy too - is it a true story?

Comment is about Lost and found (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Interesting story, enjoyed the read.
Bernie

Comment is about Lost and found (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Liked this well written piece but go along with what Steve says re Charity Pimps.
Bernie

Comment is about Lady of Shalott Day (article)

Two very good samples here Emma! I'm particularly fond of the first one! Great work! :-)

Comment is about Emma Roy- Williams (poet profile)

Original item by Emma Roy- Williams

hi jeff,

thanks for your feedback- i always like to hear what other poets have to say about my poems.
I like your style too it is a little like mine in that you like it to rthyme (is that how you spell it?) it is never deliberate.

I am afraid I do not have enough attention to detail to change wonder for wander- although I wish i had. Just bad spelling on my part I think.

I like your poem darker skies and the bit about just another baby to add to the list. It reminded me of this baby p business and how there are 30 kids a week dying at the hands of negelgent carers but they never make the press and no one knows about them. A tragedy.

Anyway on that happy note.

Hope to see you at the green room sometime. Cheers Emma

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Hi Cynthia

thanks for taking the time to read and make comment on SOAP.

the solution to the inference can be found in the BOBO doll experiment

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks Cate for your comments on"Know It All"
Bernie

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

I'd agree with the other comments - this deserves wider publication. Must be a candidate for Poem of the Month. Thanks for your explanation, Anthony - helpful.

Comment is about Edge (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

I liked this a lot Isobel. As Andy says, a change in style, but nothing wrong with that. You are saying something so true here and saying it memorably. More! x

Comment is about Words (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Thanks Cate for your comments on "Fish"
Bernie

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Steve, Isobel, Cate thank you all for yor comments.
just a bit of fun.
Bernie

Comment is about Fish (blog)

Blimey Deb, you're on a roll, beautiful words here with great imagery, great reading Jeff X

Comment is about Aurora (blog)

Original item by Deborah Jordan Bailey

Hi Jeff - thanks for your comment - yes it went a lot better last night. Re Southport - have had a rethink - have cleared my head and probably will make it. My friend would really like to hear me read so don't give my spot away. How many am I allowed to do? Would kind of like to do 3 but will restrict it to one if you are short of time...
Isobel x

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

like the new poem , my attention span is short so less is always more for me :)

good to see you get your poem out last night enjoyed it .

Comment is about Words (blog)

Original item by Isobel

A wonderful poem here Anthony. I, like Dave, have also taught special needs and downs children, and can attest to what loving and sweet natured souls they have.
I found this very moving.
Cate xx

Comment is about "John" (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Still a bit long for my liking Dave, could do better! Ha, cheers good to see you last night, Jeff

Comment is about Attention spans (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Emma, like this anecdotal, diary like poem, nice one. One thing that puzzled me is did you mean to use wander/wandered etc rather than wonder etc, bit ambiguous under context its written but obviously changes the meaning and probably subtley clever if you did!

By the way I work for MCC (benefits and council tax in moss side), maybe see ya soon, work or poetry, best wishes Jeff X

Comment is about 18 months experience (blog)

Original item by Emma Roy- Williams

Very powerful imagery here Anthony..... and very disquieting.
Cate xx

Comment is about Edge (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson