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Shoes - Draft 1

My dad's leather shoes

Old, dormant, resting under the kitchen table

Curled up at the toe, beaten in at the back

Crispy insoles, like sandpaper, grit from the garden

And odour of turps, and beer slurped

Speckles of white paint dot the tongue

Inky blue, now a gauntly grey

Nuzzled by the dog

Sometimes, he forgets, where he kicked them off!

 

By Belinda Johnston

 

 

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Comments

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Val Cook

Sat 22nd Aug 2009 10:35

Nice one Belinda.

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Jeff Dawson

Sat 15th Aug 2009 07:33

Hi Belinda, good to see you again, hope you're well, like this especially the line about turps and beer, but might sound better saying 'An' odour rather than 'and' just a thought take care Jeff X

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Belinda Johnston

Tue 4th Aug 2009 14:50

Hi Janet,

Thank you for taking the time to comment. All comments are always welcomed and greatly appreciated. I've not posted anything for a while, and I really do mean to getting around to commenting on other peoples work as well as posting my own.

I will have a think about this poem over the next week or so, as I feel it needs playing around with.

Best Wishes

Belinda x

<Deleted User> (5646)

Tue 4th Aug 2009 11:21

Hi Belinda,
i'm certainly no expert and i think this poem does have a strong image.
A bit of juggling around might make it stronger but as you say it is a first draft.
I do love to read your work, it always has strong imagery for me.

Janet.x

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Belinda Johnston

Tue 4th Aug 2009 00:58

I wrote this poem as part of a workshop exercise.

We had to focus all of our energy on a particular object, an object that conjured up alot of images and feelings for you personally.

I wrote about my dad's shoes, as I think they say alot about him.

Best Wishes

Belinda

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