Edge

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Edge

Gone is the mind where love and hope once played,
She feels the urge to paint a world with blood.
She watches moonlight dance along the blade.

She dreams a world of red in every shade,
Would banish all the rainbow if she could.
Gone is the mind where love and hope once played.

All trust now shredded, reason torn and frayed,
A hollow corpse where once a woman stood;
She watches moonlight dance along the blade.

A tortured love, deceased and now decayed;
From drop to river, now a salt-eyed flood.
Gone is the mind where love and hope once played.

All options spent, one judgement to be made
It matters not for evil, nor for good;
She watches moonlight dance along the blade.

A price to pay for selfless love betrayed,
No question in her conscience if she should.
Gone is the mind where love and hope once played,
She watches moonlight dance along the blade …

betrayaldeathlovemurdersuicidevillanelle

◄ "John"

Beyond the Equinox ►

Comments

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Petrova Fairhurst

Tue 15th Mar 2011 21:46

Very moody & dark, what is this style of poetry called (at the risk of showing my ignorance)?

The pain is palpable as is the despair, beautifully written.

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Ann Foxglove

Thu 13th May 2010 01:36

Hi Anthony - just read this. It is a wonderful poem. And thanks for your kind words, much needed. xx

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Steve Regan

Wed 19th Aug 2009 10:43

Anthony, a brilliant poem. I've read what you said about the form, though I haven't had time to read the links. Whatever ... your poem works really well.

It's dark, of course, and menancing, and those repeated lines work really well. One of those lines contains the most important words in the poem, and perhaps in human life, "love" and "hope".

You've written here a great poetic affirmation of the truth that without love and hope humans are nothing. Great work, Anthony.

PS> I think the others are wrong. 'Edge' is way too good for the Poem of the Month slot!

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Cat Parsons

Tue 18th Aug 2009 21:01

Wow!
this poem is great! there is certainly a villainous element to your villainelle!
It reads so well on page and aloud, and I found it really conjured up images to match the poem when I read it!

Cat x

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Isobel

Sat 15th Aug 2009 09:13

Yes - on second reading I do think this should be poem of the month - so clever in structure and choice of words. I really wish we could nominate poems - I like this almost as much as 'Lifelines'.

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Dave Bradley

Fri 14th Aug 2009 15:19

I'd agree with the other comments - this deserves wider publication. Must be a candidate for Poem of the Month. Thanks for your explanation, Anthony - helpful.

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Cate Greenlees

Fri 14th Aug 2009 12:30

Very powerful imagery here Anthony..... and very disquieting.
Cate xx

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Anthony Emmerson

Fri 14th Aug 2009 00:47

Hi Everyone,

And thanks for all the positive comments. I'm having a "difficult" period writing-wise at the moment. When this happens I have often found it useful to return to the basics for inspiration, and especially discipline. For those who might not have come across it before this poem is written as a "villanelle." See:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle#Form

I don't usually like writing to strict rules, but I guess it's akin to forcing myself to do a crossword - better to write something than nothing. Since the form is already decided the only thing to worry about is the content. Perhaps the most famous villanelle in the English language is "Do not go gentle into that goodnight," written by the great Dylan Thomas.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/do-not-go-gentle-into-that-good-night/

Forcing myself to write to a strict form works for me, when I'm feeling uninspired. It's a challenge and tends to focus my thoughts and get me back into writing mode. It might be interesting to start a discussion thread which focuses on a particular form every so often, simply as an exercise for those similarly afflicted with so-called "writer's block." Anyone up for it?

Thanks again for your comments.

Regards,
A.E.

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Isobel

Thu 13th Aug 2009 23:49

Can't quite find the words to comment on this one Anthony - unusual for me - very raw, very powerful - I like it.

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Gus Jonsson

Thu 13th Aug 2009 22:31

all the verses hurt.. especially this one


... ouch ouch ....agghhh


Gus

Deborah Jordan

Thu 13th Aug 2009 19:15

I really like this Anthony i can imagine it all..her head on one side, empty eyes watching the moonlight reflect on the metal..so evocative,
deb

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 13th Aug 2009 18:35

My word, Anthony. My word! What a piece! The stuff of masters.

Janet

Thu 13th Aug 2009 14:41

You already have my thoughts on this poem but it looks just as good here as in your samples.

Janet.x

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