Cynthia, Many thanks for taking the time to read my latest blog poem. Of course it pleases me that you find it of worth but in a sense it pleases me even more that you have taken the time to make constructive criticisms. This is exactly why I joined the site. As you say, it's up to me but the point is to have the views of others working with words. I think I do have a habit of over-wordiness at times, hence I set myself to write haiku poems for the discipline! Once again, thank you.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thanks for your comment on my Praying poem James - you were right in your take on it. I have left a further comment on it to explain things. x
Comment is about James Lancaster (poet profile)
Original item by James Lancaster
Yes - it is based on fact Andy. My daughter is dying, I am dying, you are dying...the only uncertainty is when.
James is right in his summary of the poem. We start off in life very innocent and accepting and hopeful but become jaded by life experience and what we see around us.
Cynthia's poem 'Usufruct' is about the philosophy of Lucretius. He says that life is a loan - this is it - there is nothing else - make the most of it. That just led me to thinking how unfair it was for those who couldn't make the most of it due to circumstances. I wasn't thinking just of those whose lives are cut short so much as those who have no quality of life. The long straw therefore has 2 meanings.
I sometimes wonder if my own personal faith is dwindling with time. Does anyone remember the Graham Green analogy of faith turning into a black cat crossing the road? The crossed fingers echo that.
I would describe myself as a hoper rather than a believer. To be a no-hoper would be just too depressing for me.
Sorry about the essay - it just takes a bit of explaining. x
Comment is about Praying (blog)
Original item by Isobel
If I can remember...
I enjoyed this walk down memory lane. You should have bitten that bullet - it might be one of those life long regrets. I like the will I/won't I see saw you creat through the poem. Also the conspiring planets winking at you is a lovely opener linked in to the never that you open and close with. This a sweet touching one. It reminds me of being young and not quite having enough confidence - though the onus is always more on the men than women - though I understand that is changing LOL x
Comment is about Biting The Bullet (blog)
Original item by Tom
Yes - I've had a good chuckle too. I misread it to start off with and thought you were talking about pissing in the wrong direction and hitting yourself midstream - I thought it was an odd thing for a woman to do...
I'm loving all the different angles on this theme - pardon the pun. x
Comment is about Biting the Bullet (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Hi Zion,
Loved "Who pays the real cost?"! I wrote one on the same theme once,called "Every Little Helps",but it's gone missing.You've inspired me to give it another go!...and it's true...their shops do breed and pop up seemingly every few weeks!
Comment is about Who Pays the Real Cost? (blog)
I also would like to tell you thank you, dear Stefan. You are so kind and a real gentleman.
Comment is about It is so good..... (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
<Deleted User> (6895)
Wed 29th Sep 2010 15:05
A really 'loving' poem-lovely girl!and after all,you are indeed a very loving natured Lady-to whom I say thank you!-Stef-xx
Comment is about It is so good..... (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Yes, Lynn! Very good poem and all in it is so true. And it's well written too.
With warmest wishes, Larisa
Comment is about Us and Them (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Thank you Lynn, Isobel, Ann, Stefan for the comments. With warmest wishes, Larisa
Comment is about I Am an Actress (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
<Deleted User> (6534)
Wed 29th Sep 2010 13:17
I much enjoyed Metro lament. it did evoke feelings of nostalgia rather than nervousness but place names can be very potent. Americans seem to incorporate place names into poems and especially songs more than the english. I am fond of Flanders and Swann's Slow train
Regards
Alvin
Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)
Original item by Freda Davis
Cheers all - wasn't going to put this up, glad I did now :)
Comment is about Biting the Bullet (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Thanks for your comments Dave, glad the bullet piece made you laugh, and I do actually agree with you on the ‘what is poetry’ question. It was my first piece up on here though and I was a little hesitant over what reaction it may get, this being a ‘poetry’ site, hence the disclaimer!
Regarding the issue over allusions, part of me would love to explain further all of the inspirations, associations and references. But there’s a bigger part of me that knows how satisfying, delightful and soothing it can be to spot allusions in other people’s lyrical and literary works. Those moments when you almost squeal with recognition, or get an empathetic bit of grit in your eye, you know? This part also likes to avoid authorial intent, and prefers to let the reader make up their own interpretations, cos I know, again, what joy there is in doing that :)
Having said that, I have regularly devoured whole auto/biographical slices of my favourite writers and singers, in an effort to gain more understanding!
I don’t think I’ll ever really make up my mind, so I’ll just incline to the not-telling for now :)
Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
I've been trying not to comment (after the first few) since I'm running this thing, but had to log in to say what a laugh this gave me. This may not win, but it's great.
Comment is about Biting the Bullet (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Hi Anna
This poem is saying something important that affects lots of people all the time but rarely gets talked about. Our society favours the fluent, and it can be painful being non-fluent. I liked this and also your next one - good luck at uni!
Comment is about Aristotle clearly never met me (blog)
Original item by Anna McCrory
Oh Graham - so much to change so much to leave alone - that's the trouble with this friggin' poetry!! Which is which?? ;-) I really appreciate your comments, always! The sun was settling, at least how I imagined it, like a chicken nestles down into her nest at night. But I guess that cosy image clashes with the rather intimidating sea. I will try again with it. Ta once more.
Comment is about two women on the edge (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
this is a good fashioned rant to me, anna but i like it and i hope it isn't the truth as i've had this done to me before now... x
Comment is about To the man who splashed me with a puddle this morning (blog)
Original item by Anna McCrory
This is exactly the sort of poem that both beguiles and irritates me. There is so much to change(just look at the comments) and so much to leave alone, so as not to lose the writer's sentiments.
I don't like the sun settling. Why aren't you sipping, swigging, guzzling etc the champagne? I don't like the swap between we and you? as you appear to have stopped narrating and started talking directly.
After all this the idea is lovely but I think the tension should either be about the environment that you are both sharing or the renewal of your relationship.
Sorry for the epistle Ann, but to my thinking your work is making a transition these days and I am reading it more and more.
Comment is about two women on the edge (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
It's nice to get even in a poem isn't it Anna! I wrote a poem ages ago called The Carpet Fitters Broke My Pot" - self-explanatory! Having only seen a couple of your poems I can't say if they all sound the same. Certainly you are writing about quirky individual subjects, that's great. And good luck at uni!
Comment is about To the man who splashed me with a puddle this morning (blog)
Original item by Anna McCrory
wrote a comment but the system lost it - bloody long one too - will have to return later
Comment is about Biting The Bullet (blog)
Original item by Tom
<Deleted User> (7212)
Wed 29th Sep 2010 08:10
Hi - thanks for the comments Lynn. all the best. B
Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Love this one too. Great that you've made a poem of it. The lens can't really capture vivacity, personality or laughter very well though can it? It just captures the double chin that you get when you laugh - or the nose at the wrong angle not at every angle. I appreciate that there is furhther depth to your poem than I am suggesting. Staged photos capture staged emotions - 'Fraudulent smiles' - sometimes we wear them for more than photographs. x
Comment is about Portrait (blog)
Original item by James Lancaster
<Deleted User> (8702)
Tue 28th Sep 2010 23:50
Hi Winston
Glad you've joined in with 'Bullet' - in such an interesting way too! Thanks for the suggestion. Whoever does it next may well take it up, but I'm actually quite optimistic about people voting - we'll see come Friday and the weekend.
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
Hi Lynn - thanks for your appreciation of 'Riff Raff', glad you like it. :) Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)
Original item by Lynn Dye
<Deleted User> (6895)
Tue 28th Sep 2010 23:26
Good evening Larisa-very clever poem-your best one yet! lots of love-Stef-xx
Comment is about I Am an Actress (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
<Deleted User> (6895)
Tue 28th Sep 2010 23:16
Up the workers!-whats left of them! nice poem Lynn-sleep well-see you soon-Stef-xx
Comment is about Us and Them (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
This is lovely, Ann. I think either option works. On reflection, maybe your newer idea. xx
Comment is about two women on the edge (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Oh, the joys of Lego land! I enjoyed this, Ann, brought back a few memories of my own. xx
Comment is about plastic garden (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Really enjoyed reading this, Cynthia, love your descriptions.x
Comment is about Martini On The Rocks (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
hi Dave. Sometimes in this sort of comp you can only win if you vote. (and obviously not for yourself)Controvertial perhaps but it does ensure participation. Could be in the rules of future comps but not here as it would need to be anounced at the start I think, Thanks for organising this it has added another dimension to the site Dave. Win x
Comment is about Biting the Bullet. Prize follow-up to Pandora (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Thanks both. Not sure about the last line. Might change it to
"Behind us in the dark a planet sparkles."
Hmmm......
Comment is about two women on the edge (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
I think this is really good, Dave. It's sad but unfortunately true.
Comment is about Riff Raff (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Hi Dave. Managed to squeeze one in :-) Win
Comment is about Biting the Bullet Final Reminder (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
I can definitely associate with your poem, David - I've had a few nights like that on and off! Good poem.
Comment is about Do Another Day (blog)
Original item by David Mac
Hi Lynn. thanks for the comments on the bullet thing. Just looked your contribution up. A great passionate tale. Win
Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)
Original item by Lynn Dye
I love the tenderness in this too, Isobel, beautiful poem xx
Comment is about Praying (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Hi Dave thanks for the bullet comments. In fact I started another some weeks ago which had some very strong similarities to your first stanza! Win x
Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Carr
Thanks, great site you've got here.
Comment is about Michael Scott (poet profile)
Original item by Michael Scott
very sad, isobel.. hope it isn't based on fact my dear but i love it... wonderful stuff xx
Comment is about Praying (blog)
Original item by Isobel
really enjoyed this, phil.. particularly strong ending for me...
get submitting this!!!
Comment is about Life is.... (blog)
Original item by Phil Golding
welcome onboard michael.. nice start..
Comment is about Michael Scott (poet profile)
Original item by Michael Scott
very touching, ann indeed - up to you whether you want to do it, but i am wondering whether stanza 5 and 6 are needed as i like stanza 4 when it finishes 'but we are here,
above it.'
and then moves to the concluding line...
either way, enjoyed it.. x
Comment is about two women on the edge (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
I found this very touching. A simple moment but full of life and feeling.
Comment is about two women on the edge (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Wow - I like your stuff! Welcome to WOL. Swindon eh?
Comment is about Michael Scott (poet profile)
Original item by Michael Scott
<Deleted User> (7075)
Tue 28th Sep 2010 18:10
Hi Michael, Welcome to WOL. Winston
Comment is about Michael Scott (poet profile)
Original item by Michael Scott
<Deleted User> (6895)
Wed 29th Sep 2010 20:35
Good Evening Larisa-nice,neat optimistic poem('new start')remember you asked me to help you if needed-som is it ok to suggest'no one-CARES-to see it bleeding? don,t worry if you prefer your line-its still a really nice poem-Thank you-Stef-xx
Comment is about Don't Touch My Heart! (Biting the bullet) (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska