Dave,
Just been reading up on quarks...I must say that from bottom to top your poem has a strange charm and flavour (The search for fundamental particles makes all this mere evolution stuff seem a bit old hat)
I love your humorous take on it and the way you`ve got so many of the relevant `in words` into such smooth and amusing rhyme.
I like the way line ten gets those three `en` words in...all different.
And that last line is as good as one of Hughs.
Thoroughly enjoyed
Comment is about Omniverse (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Changed that offending line. Happier with that. Still thinking about capable creation.
Comment is about Omniverse (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
me in 3 minute theatre manchester
Comment is about Old Skool (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
nick at gullivers, manchester november 2012
Comment is about Word of? (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
Wow!
Comment is about FOR LINDA ...Just turned fourteen....? (blog)
This will be a night to remember! Come early for an open mic slot and a seat!
Comment is about Pre - Birthday Party night at the Bar des Arts (photo)
What a gift!
I echo everything Anthony says...
Comment is about FOR LINDA ...Just turned fourteen....? (blog)
Thanks for comments here.
Sid, I like the Theo Walcott analogy.
I have to agree with you about the other comments.
Will try to improve those lines.
Dave
Comment is about Omniverse (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
What a beautiful tribute and dedicication Harry. Anyone would be moved to have something this eloquent written about them. In this age of materialism something so personal and heartfelt has no price, yet shows perfectly the old adage - It's the thought that counts. I hope it brings a tear to her eye, for all the best reasons.
Regards,
A.E.
Comment is about FOR LINDA ...Just turned fourteen....? (blog)
Hi Sid, thks for the suggestions re Lumb Bank. Win
Comment is about Ray Miller (poet profile)
Original item by Ray Miller
Hi Dave, Thx for the comments on Lumb Bank. Such a beautiful place on that particular day. Win
Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Carr
Peter Ashworth Head of Culture and Leisure for Stockport Council will be coming to our next meeting on the 12th November.
He will be giving a ten minute talk on the present cut-backs and will gladly answer any questions the group might have.
The theme for the night will be what does the Art Gallery mean to you!
Comment is about Write Out Loud Stockport back fight to stop art gallery cuts (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Glad you're coming to Cadence! :)
And thanks for reminding me re the xmas bash - I have just this second booked off the day after haha :D I usually forget and have to try and get through a day in work feeling like death-from-hangover :D
See thee in Tyldesley! Have fun tonight :)
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Wonderful.I love the turnpike
As speed becomes more accurate, position just gets worse - I'm thinking Theo Walcott.
A world of ten dimensions of space and one of time - the one line in the poem that is not so smooth.
The capable creation - hmmm, I think you could do better than that.
Comment is about Omniverse (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Thanks, fellas.
I dunno, Greg, whatever did happen to Augusta Darling? I know Wendy Darling. She has lots of nice houses.
I'm not that keen on the last 3 verses to be honest, Dave. I must use the last verse because I like the jungle/dunghill rhyme, but I need to rework it somehow.
Comment is about Sky Garden (blog)
Original item by Ray Miller
Hi Cathy
Thank you for your comments. I like the way you write that my heart had a word with your heart.
Much appreciated!
Ally
x
Comment is about Cathy Crabb (poet profile)
Original item by Cathy Crabb
Fantastic!
I love the capitals and brackets lines.
Also the next verse is brilliant.
The last verse is my least favourite.
I think the poem would stand up without it.
(IMO ha ha)
But let that not detract...
Dave
Comment is about Sky Garden (blog)
Original item by Ray Miller
Thanks for your comment on Small Talk, Sid. Yes I think I will probably tweek that now line - probably just get rid of the word - I'll see how I feel after performing it tonight.
I see you've been scribbling again - will take a peek when I'm feeling more up to critique - leaving comments can be quite a draining process when you really think about what you are writing.
Comment is about Ray Miller (poet profile)
Original item by Ray Miller
Kenneth Eaton-Dykes
Thu 8th Nov 2012 14:02
Oh - what a shame! And John Coopey's going to be there! I don't know much about the Tyldesly thing - I'll have to ask Jeff about it. I'm going to something he's doing on Saturday, so I'll see. Crumbs - it'll be December before I see you otherwise! Take care anyway - and make sure you save enough dosh to make the Christmas bash! x
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
And not just writing any old guff, it's quality writing :) Nice one.
Nah, not going tonight - combination of skintness, and being a tad hungover ;) Am blaming that on Obama celebrations and having Bob's son round for tea last night ;D
Shame I won't be able to see these being performed. Are you coming to the Tyldesley thing that Jeff's doing? It's on 23rd November at the Cadence cafe. You could do the new ones :)
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Hmmm...yeh. I would go with the upper part being neat and the lower shambolic though - and that's NOT just me being contrary! ;)
Comment is about Bubble (blog)
Chris,
Thanks for your comment on Compy Dompy.
Sorry it took so long to get back.
Dave
Comment is about Chris Co (poet profile)
Original item by Chris Co
Hi Margaret,
Thanks for comment on Compy Dompy from way back.
Dave
Comment is about Margaret Holbrook (poet profile)
Original item by Margaret Holbrook
Hola Dave
Hey thanks :) Glad you enjoyed it. Was an absolutely cracking day - shame you couldn't be there. Next year!
Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Carr
<Deleted User> (10439)
Thu 8th Nov 2012 13:02
Behind every successful man, there is a woman, but behind every successful woman is there a man ?
Comment is about Obama wins with a little bit of help from his female following (blog)
Original item by hugh
Thanks for your comments Laura - yes it's a relief for me to be able to write again - I was starting to go stagnant performing the same old...
Never worry about not commenting. There is so much stuff on here it can be overwhelming to comment on them all. Hope to see you tonight. x
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Thanks for your generous comment on Compy Dompy. Sorry it took me so long to get back.
Dave
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Sorry to hear you won't be with us tonight Dave - we'll miss you! I'm also hoping your surgery isn't owt serious. If your man flu's anything to go by, it's probably an in growing toe nail and we don't need to worry too much about next month ;) x - and another for your toe x
Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Carr
Very sad but beautifully told.
Dave
Comment is about HEARTBREAK ETCHED IN STONE (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Perhaps those Tudor kind of streets could be neat shambolic - from the first floor up they are all over the place - but at street level they can be tidy?
Comment is about Bubble (blog)
Hi Laura,
Thanks for comment on Compy Dompy (ages ago I know)
Just found time to view your Diggers video.
Excellent
Dave
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Another new one! On a roooolllll!
Clever, succinct, very different from previous form. Good poem - enjoyed.
Took me years of self-tuition to learn small talk, as it goes. Couldn't understand how people opened their mouths and said...nothing.
Comment is about Small Talk (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Sorry it's taken me so long to comment on this - I saw it, meant to, then got busy with other stuff.
Anyhoooo - what a wonderful poem. Nice to see a new piece from you Is. Totally agree re performance making all the difference, but I can't fault the rhythm in here.
Comment is about Preparing Lamb (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Haha - oooo so cutting :D Love it. That intro's funny as owt too :D
Comment is about Posh Tramps (blog)
Original item by Cathy Crabb
Actually I think you should take all the previous ones down right now, and then post them back up, one per week.
Anthony's right - barely anyone will look at them now cos they're backed up into hyperlinks.
Your writing is interesting, and politically right up my street. Do us, and yourself, a huge favour, and put them up slowly and that way you'll get more exposure and the people reading them can ingest one at a time :)
Good performance piece this - enjoyed it, some killer lines
Comment is about I might look like a mortal man to you (blog)
Original item by Wez Jefferies
Unusual structure to this...can't help but think it may be improved visually by playing with the structure on the page, but as for the actual poem itself, nope - leave that. A beautiful poem sonically - I can hear it being read out. Very musical, lilting. Lots in there to tickle my curiosity, however the neat/shambolic jars a teeny bit.
Surplus apostrophe after 'breezes'?
Comment is about Bubble (blog)
Hi Katherine.
Thanks for comment on Compy Dompy.
Sorry for not getting back sooner.
I enjoyed Dedicated Follower of fashion.
Dave
Comment is about Katherine Shirley (poet profile)
Original item by Katherine Shirley
Hi Isobel.
Thanks for comment on Compy Dompy. Ages ago I know. Am recovering from surgery so can't make Tudor tonight. Gives me time to look at WOL though. Dave
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Another wonderful piece of writing Marianne - crafted and yet seemingly so easy
Comment is about Discipline (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Jampacked full of hugely evocative imagery - your writing is changing and flowing so fast these days, and this one seems to have more...what's the word...form?structure? It is less fluid/stream of cons whilst still holding onto the process that kicks it off. I know what I mean!!
Love it, fantastic piece. I read those first 3 verses in awe.
Comment is about Blue (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Hi Sid,
Had to look twice there - like the name -incognito in your Holt. Thanks for comment in another life. Dompy is to Compy as Dumpty is to Humpty. Whimsical I suppose.
Dave
Comment is about Ray Miller (poet profile)
Original item by Ray Miller
Thanks to all for comments on this. Seems ages ago. Been busy with family stuff.
Comment is about Compy Dompy (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Enjoyed the journey this took, Sid, and a very credible one it was, too. Your poetic style is confident and assured. Which reminds me, apropos of almost nothing ... whatever happened to Augusta Darling?
Comment is about Sky Garden (blog)
Original item by Ray Miller
Hey Laura,This is a great piece;esp love the third stanza with the references to 'coalition buzzword bingo,sign on and shout house'.Haha!Clever and funny!By the way,loved your performance at the John The Baptist gig.
Comment is about Brand New Lexicon (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 7th Nov 2012 23:33
Girl power to the rescue again!x
Comment is about Obama wins with a little bit of help from his female following (blog)
Original item by hugh
tony sheridan
Thu 8th Nov 2012 23:57
I like this. Nice one. Take care, Tony.
Comment is about Word of? (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER