Depression (Remove filter)
Where I am
The festive lights sparkle
Glistening in
The eyes of my strangers
I assimilate insensibly
For it is dark where I am
And they do not understand
Why there is no tree
Innocent laughter tears
Excitement free
From warm-hearted tokens
My gift is emptiness
For it is cold where I am
And he doesn’t understand
Why there is no tree
Smiles of c...
Wednesday 9th December 2015 2:01 pm
Bitter
How can something so sweet, be so bitter?
Your love was something special, it has never withered.
The night sky comes creeping in as a shadow
As soon as the light is gone, my smile fades
The true side of my heart turns old and gray
For I do not wish to keep living this way
The bottle has been too friendly to me, these last couple days
Morning breaks, another night accompl...
Friday 11th September 2015 4:23 pm
Smokey Mirrors and Lust
Over and over again the word disappoints me
Friday 11th September 2015 1:22 pm
Internalizations of the External
Internalizations of the External
………today I thought I could,
I really wanted to
And I almost did,
But then I hid beneath
The covers and declared
The morning lost.
Midday came,
I thought of food –
Maybe a cup of tea
To wake me from my slumber,
But the kitchen seemed too distant
To venture, too cold
And far removed from warmth.
I toy...
Friday 11th September 2015 4:28 am
dry drowning
The day suffocates my soul
Each minute sends me further
The more I fight the harder my body fights back
Good things happen but I am blind
The only thing I hear is silence
Faces pass, I smile back only out of habit
My body has learned how to pretend
But my mind will never grasp the concept
My heart aches constantly
It pushes against my rib cage
It is a prisoner trying ...
Monday 31st August 2015 8:33 pm
THE UNINVITED GUEST
Oh deep, dark depression,
my uninvited guest,
the persistence of oppression
is precluding my life’s zest.
The dark before sunrise
of a dawn that just won't break,
suppressed by a thirst for my soul
that only sorrow can now slake.
The wisps that you are weaving
are clouding my damp eyes,
a cold and cloying shroud
that’s covering all that I desire.
...
Thursday 20th August 2015 11:58 pm
The Endless Pit
The crack of dawn, yet absent of light
Darker than the hours preceding
Only one could dread a new day
But it's a constant battle and endless fight
To rise from this dungeon
To enter this isolated Hell
The morning is slow, yet all too short
Lead weights on all limbs and eyes
No routine, but a mission
To begin each day, Only to distort
The true soul trapped inside
Ac...
Tuesday 18th August 2015 4:09 am
THE CLEANSING TIDE
The child in his arms, such a precious gift,
her sweet little smile would make his heart lift.
Born into a love that none could compare,
baby blue eyes framed with curly blonde hair.
Conceived and born on such love filled days,
from the moment he held her he was blown away.
His heart did a flip and his smile was so wide,
his devotion to his daughter could not be denied.
...Wednesday 22nd July 2015 5:34 pm
ONE LAST SHOT
The stains upon the bar
tell of many sad tales
of love, loss and tragic lives;
and drink to drown out the wails.
Another washed out soul
seeks the solace of the glass,
to wash away the memory
of another broken pass.
Another wheeler-dealer,
another gambling god,
another weary player
bet his life upon the sod.
The rings around his eyes
mark the t...
Sunday 12th July 2015 3:53 am
SHATTERED REFLECTION
The hands of time tick slowly by
as dawn breaks in a new day.
A nightmare reality of
the receding night lies marked,
like so many fading stars,
in the shattered glass on the floor.
Silken shards of sorry souls,
their lives now trapped
in a dream of what was then,
what is now and
what should never have been.
Each broken image,
a moment in time captured
...Monday 15th June 2015 12:51 pm
You
You wanted to go to a cliff and scream your lungs out but you realized there’s no voice coming out.
You feel an ache in your heart, the kind where you felt it ripped slowly but you don’t know why.
You wish to voice out those aching but there’s no words to describe.
You’re surrounded by oh so many people and yet you feel you’re the only one alive.
You listened to sad songs to make yo...
Friday 22nd May 2015 5:39 am
DARK PANACEA
A crowded room
is such a lonely place,
wear a fragile mask
upon a weary face.
Everybody’s here
but there’s nobody there
and there’s nothing to do
except sit and stare.
The distant sounds
of joy and laughter
drifting like echoes
in dusty rafters.
As you slowly subside,
sinking way down low
and you're silently wondering
how far you can go.
...Tuesday 19th May 2015 12:08 am
He Inhales
He inhales,
Yet again he finds himself feeling six feet under,
covered by life bearing soil
The life in which he ponders how he missed.
He inhales,
This time,
His sorrow and self loathing are lifted away
Into the clouds
This is where they remain
For a time that seems ever too short.
He inhales,
Hoping to never return
To his sad reality.
He can't escape.
...
Sunday 29th March 2015 12:09 am
In the calm of darkness
I find great peace
The whirring of my head begins to cease
For in my everyday
I so struggle with just being me
Speaking my wants doesn’t come easily
There is conflict
In every decision I make
Trying to act for everyone’s sake
Often I forget myself
In that moment I’m not important
As old beliefs still h...
Friday 27th March 2015 10:04 pm
HOPE WITHIN TIME
As another day draws to a close
So similar to yesterday
In my actions and the thoughts I struggle to keep at bay
Time is a thing I cannot control
Each day passes, then a month, another year
As I struggle on, not being able to change becomes the all-consuming fear
The rawness of emotion lessens
The cycle of terrifying darkness broken by hope has gone
...Thursday 26th March 2015 9:04 pm
What's going on inside my head
Wish I could turn it off
Buzzing
Whirring
Voices echoing around
Wish I could reboot my brain!
I keep it all inside
All my worries
Fears
Stress
But I'm scared Scared I'm going to crack up
There's only so much I can think about
Keep it bottled up
Even though it's not healthy
I need to release the cork
Don't want to be in that dark place again
...
Friday 13th February 2015 4:03 pm
F#ck your depression, F#ck your hope.
Im burning thru my own world, its like I'm on fire,
i dont know how i got here ,could i get any higher?
i dont know why im pacing, but these dones got me estatic,
add a couple xanax to make the situation frantic.
oh shit, im nodding. now its all just tragic.
im getting high off these beans like their fucking magic.
letting go of life, cause the morphine kills the pain..
giving...
Tuesday 27th January 2015 8:04 pm
silence
Sitting
Just sitting
Listening to nothing
Loud thoughts
Consume my mind
Curled up in a ball
While these words attack
Insane
Understatement
Demented
Brain sick
Alone
Silence is killing me
But this is the only quiet place to think
Also most dangerous
Depression creeps
As the silence grows
I am no longer myself
Nor alive
I am now one of many vo...
Thursday 15th January 2015 5:12 pm
Lemons
They say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
You start slicing those lemons
Knife slips
Where's the first aid?
The lemons are too sour to put in a drink
The sugar runs out
The water rusty from the kitchen sink
The lemons keep coming
They're heavy to hold
From innocent lemonade stands
To bags of lemons turning to mold
Wednesday 7th January 2015 5:32 am
Home
Sadness is tears after losing a game or a broken bone, depression is sobs at 3 in the morning when you're all alone. Sadness makes you blue, depression makes you numb. Sadness loses to happy, depression loses to none. Sadness says, "I love you, hold me", depression screams, "I love you, go away!". Sadness is only fleeting, depression brings its bags to stay. Sadness is the curious neighbor, depres...
Wednesday 7th January 2015 5:18 am
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