Poetry Blogs (2013, Humour)
(with apologies to Michael Jackson)
They told him Christmas time is getting so near
Don't want to go shopping you'd better look right here
The goods are there and the instructions are clear
So click it, just click it
You better order stuff whenever you can
The Trafford Centre is one big traffic jam
Just sit back, wait for the delivery van
So click it - cos you nee...
Saturday 14th December 2013 10:04 am
They say the playing fields of Eton
Have given this nation so very much:
This current set of mental inbreeds
Who’ve lost the common touch?
They’ve taxed our beer, cigs and patties,
Expect us all to work some years longer
All in the cause and the name of making
Both us and the nation that much stronger.
They’re the one nation Tories;
Thursday 3rd October 2013 12:55 pm
Monday 9th September 2013 2:39 pm
A slide show of Walmart customers triggered this acrostic
So many people walk through the store
Every one of them unique, wanting more
Excess love of gadgets and household gear
So much in their trolleys they can hardly steer
And we see their pictures on You Tube these days
Wall flowers they are not, but on Walmarters craze
When they reach the check outs they look all around
He has more than...
Saturday 24th August 2013 10:09 pm
( A praise poem - of sorts)
I'll not forget the day we met
on the Piccadilly line
the memory lies grafted
embedded in my mind
I'd been working late at the office
commuting home alone
when you approached me with your mobile
and by that I don't mean phone
And I'd like to say you were beautiful
but in truth it was a shock
I never looked up f...
Tuesday 23rd July 2013 7:53 am
Friday 24th May 2013 7:51 pm
Pepped up with pills and various potions
Zimmer frame ready to help forward motion
Wired for sound and to aid dicky ticker
Capsules to slow it - or make it go quicker
Now where's my bifocals to help me to see
- and all this just so I can go for a wee.
Saturday 18th May 2013 11:36 pm
We visited a rainbow
at school the other day.
Every colour said hello
except for gloomy grey.
We visited a rainbow,
and used its arch to slide,
then when it started raining,
we used the arch to hide.
We visited a rainbow,
but never saw its gold.
Our teacher said it’s locked away,
but we think it’s been sold....
Sunday 12th May 2013 9:16 am
Oh to be in prison now that April’s here.
The council tax is rising
And they’ve upped the price of beer!
The kids want pocket money
The wife wants – well, don’t ask!
When all I want’s a simple fag
And ale straight from the cask.
Oh to be in prison now that April’s gone.
There’s nowt good on the telly
And they’ve built a bigger...
Monday 1st April 2013 7:20 pm
I’ll make you laugh I’ll make you smile
I’ll use my charm I’ll use my style
I’ll give you drinks I’ll get you drunk
you’ll look at me and see a hunk.
We’ll have a meal we’ll have a dance
we’ll dim the light for ambience.
I’ll kiss your lips I’ll kiss your neck
you’ll say to me, “Oh what the heck”.
Forget your worries and your cares
as I race...
Thursday 28th February 2013 8:21 am
No matter who,
No matter where,
No matter when,
It only matters why and what for.
Yesterday was early,
Tomorrow will be late,
Today I have no time.
You can’t train in a gym?
You want to look young and slim?
Stay close to the old ones and fat.
There are many ways to skin a cat.
Sometimes I think:
Wednesday 9th January 2013 7:31 am