Poetry Blog by George Stanworth

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George Stanworth on Beautiful Love Poems (Sun, 3 Sep 2017 01:11 am)

George Stanworth on I Potted A Long Red (Sun, 3 Sep 2017 01:10 am)

on I Potted A Long Red (Sat, 2 Sep 2017 08:24 am)

lynn hahn on Beautiful Love Poems (Thu, 29 Dec 2016 05:26 pm)

M.C. Newberry on Sometimes Love Strikes When It Isn't Expected (Sat, 5 Mar 2016 06:18 pm)

George Stanworth on I Love You Mum (Wed, 30 Dec 2015 01:47 pm)

M.C. Newberry on I Love You Mum (Sat, 19 Dec 2015 06:17 pm)

Tommy Carroll on I Love You Mum (Thu, 17 Dec 2015 08:19 pm)

George Stanworth on Misled (Sun, 25 Oct 2015 10:06 am)

John Coopey on Misled (Thu, 15 Oct 2015 08:21 pm)

Disney Days

Below is one of my children's poems called 'Disney Days'.

DISNEY DAYS

Warmer than a Sheep Dog hug
or happiness rolled in a rug;
dancing dizzy Dulux joy,
whirls and swirls and shouts ‘Ahoy!’

Brighter than a scientist,
the artist’s pallet shines and skips.
Free from Greenwich Mean Time days,
they demonstrate their West End ways.​

Talent dazzles, beaming light
into the insides of o...

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I Potted A Long Red

I Potted A Long Red

I potted a long red and gave out a scream,

as it was the best shot that I'd ever seen.

Still needing 8 snookers, I thought this could mean

the start of a comeback. The best that there's been!

I needed to focus and not start to dream,

as my best ever break was only sixteen!

I potted the black and gave out a scream

as I'd aimed for the green in the wo...

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Funny PoemsShort Funny PoemsSnooker PoemsSport PoemsWitty Poems

Beautiful Love Poems

entry picture

Like The Sunshine In The Spring

You're like the sunrise in the spring

that makes the meadows dance again,

and motivates the clouds to sing.

Your warmth and light soothes all the pain

from icy winter thoughts that cling

to memories that still remain.

 

You're like the sunrise in the Spring

that calms the mountains in the rain,

and colours rainbows with a hymn.

Beaut...

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beautiful love poemsgeorge stanworthlove poems

"I'm Leaving For A Wetter Man"

I’m Leaving For A Wetter Man

“I’m leaving for a wetter man”,

your email said. My humour’s dry.

Surely you meant “Better man” or “Weatherman”.

“I’m leaving for a wetter man” -

Perhaps I should have bought a dam,

or dressed up in a puddle tie.

“I’m leaving for a wetter man” -

your email said. My tears won’t dry.

 

From my new collection of 'Short Funny Love Poems'

ww...

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HumourLovePoetry

Sometimes Love Strikes When It Isn't Expected

You lived by yourself and felt so dejected

as your dating requests were always rejected.

Sadness and shame is what you projected.

You got to the point where it all was accepted.

You lived by yourself and felt so dejected,

so went for a walk when fate intercepted.

A ‘Clover’ sign fell and letters defected.

Sometimes ‘love’ strikes when it isn’t expected.

     From my forthco...

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humourLovewit

I Love You Mum

Mum, you are my candlelight,

my angel, and my Silent Night.

More precious than a gift of gold

who wraps me up when I am cold.

 

Mum, you are my Christmas Day,

my North Star, and my snow bouquet.

You are my joy, my verse, my rhyme,

who I love more each Christmas time.

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Fancy That!

Fancy That!

'Sue fancies Bill.
Bill fancies Tim.
Tim fancies Jane.
Jane fancies Jim.

Jim fancies Kate.
Kate fancies Anne.
Anne fancies Pete,
and Pete fancies Sam.

Sam fancies Rob,
but who fancies you?'

'Mum, I don't care,
while I'm having a poo!'

Would you like the chance to win a £10 Amazon Gift Voucher?If so, then enter an original short funny poem of 12 lines or less by midnight Friday Octbe...

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Misled

There wasn't snow last winter.

I thought I'd been misled.

I couldn't throw a snowball,

so threw some sprouts instead!

www.christmaspoemsforchildren.co.uk

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Christmas PoemsChristmas Poems For ChildrenChristmas Poetry

REM's Premonition

The letter ‘E’ fell off the sign at the Globe Inn
striking the landlord and making him sick.
He will recover, but the pub is soon shutting.
It’s the end of the world as we know it!

From http://www.shortfunnypoems.co.uk/poems.html

 

 

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Short Funny PoemsThe End of The World As We Know It

One Night

Syllables pacing like P-Waves swayed in the Lithium light,
strumming on Quicksilver laughter, lovingly lashing the
night. Spinning semantics swirled skywards, startling  scampering
stars, as Lyssa leapt Leopard within her, wearing a tsetse fly
mask. Synonyms senselessly searing, sprinkled with Hydrogen
dreams, tasted the Ready-Meal vacuum of Neverland
freedom again. Sentences pendulum swingi...

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George StanworthOne NightSyllables

I Compare Thee To A Roast Dinner

From my new book:- A Floristry of Palpitations

I COMPARE THEE TO A ROAST DINNER

As cool as a sprout,

and more fragrant than a cabbage -

You turned me on with your Yorkshire Pudding wit.

Your potato looks, and carrot personality

attracted me like gravy to a plate.

Your cauliflower skin, and garden pea humour

was as passionate as a roast beef kiss.

 

Your solicitor was ...

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A Floristry of PalpitationsHumourPoetryRoast Dinner

Flowers

Flowers

I picked Van Gogh’s Sunflowers

and Peploe’s Tulips

then arranged them like the

perfect wedding day.

I tied the bouquet together

with kisses from eternity,

and wrapped them in moonlight

from your favourite landscape.

I presented them to you

like a Jane Austen hero,

as your eyes lit up

my universe.

 

I waited like the stars await their fate.

 

...

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A Floristry of Palpitations

My new comedy/poetry book called 'A Floristry of Palpitations' will be out shortly.

It is published by Desert Hearts and retails at £5.99

       Here is a sample poem:-

                    I CAME LAST

                    A competition

                    writing Rondeaus. I came last.

                    I wrote a Haiku.

For more, please visit my website at www.georgestanwort...

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A Floristry of PalpitationsComedy PoetryGeorge Stanworth

Unbelievable!

Unbelievable!

 

A giraffe fell from a spaceship

and landed in my bath.

I told my friends about it,

but all they did was laugh.

 

They struggled to believe me

until they saw the truth.

A giraffe with a telescope

appearing from my roof!

 

For more nonsense poetry visit www.georgestanworth.com

 

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GiraffeSilly poemsSurreal poetryUnbelievable Poetry

The Final Draft

The Final Draft

 

Always seeking synthetic success, for

reasons no psychiatrist is unsure

of. Like Andromeda’s black hole, the core

is unstable, and breathes in media whores’

influences and agendas. Your IQ

is beyond atomic numbers, but you

are consumed like an ale in Bavaria.

Past Plutonium thoughts grow scarier,

whilst lost dreams entwine with absent lo...

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George StanworthpoetryThe Final Draft

Baaaaa!

That's easy for Ewe to say.

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Comedy PoetryGeorge StanworthPuns

We Visited A Rainbow

WE VISITED A RAINBOW

 

We visited a rainbow

at school the other day.

Every colour said hello

except for gloomy grey.

 

We visited a rainbow,

and used its arch to slide,

then when it started raining,

we used the arch to hide.

 

We visited a rainbow,

but never saw its gold.

Our teacher said it’s locked away,

but we think it’s been sold.

...

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Children's PoetryHumourImaginationRainbow

The Worst Tutor Ever (Fact!)

The Worst Tutor Ever

 

There once was a poet called Lee

who said that he always wrote three

lines in his limericks.

 

From my new free e-book 'Kidnapped By A Public House'

http://www.lulu.com/shop/george-stanworth/kidnapped-by-a-public-house/ebook/product-21007695.html

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Kidnapped By A Public HousePoetrySatireTutor

E-Fail

E-Fail

 

You sent me

flowers as an

attachment

to my work email

account.

 

It wasn’t

quite the

romantic

gesture

I was

looking for.

 

I replied

with a

JPEG of a

dump.

 

I never

received

a postmaster

failure

email

so you must have got the message.

 

From my new book - 'Working Extra Hours Ha...

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e-failflowersrelationshipsromantic poetry

The Photo Finish

The Photo Finish
 
The picture frame was empty.
 
Its blank expression populated cities.
 
The neon lights averted gazes or
focussed even more as
tarry skies consumed
mould memories.
 
Office block shadows
 tormented your
past
and your absent anecdotes,
projecting cataract photos
of lovers inside you.
 
You fell apart
c...

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lossMemoriesphoto framephotos

Save £2 on my book - 'Your Sax Is On Fire'

My book - 'Your Sax Is On Fire' is now an incredible £3.99 when you type SAFIRE into the discount code box on

http://www.troubador.co.uk/book_info.asp?bookid=1594

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Your Sax Is On Fire

I have a new book of satirical poetry published at the beginning of January.

A review of it is below.

http://www.comedycritic.co.uk/bookReview/bookSaxIsOnFire.php

It can be bought from all leading on-line booksellers. Let me know what you think if you purchase it.

Thanks,

George

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The Cleethorpes Treaty

THE CLEETHORPES TREATY

Politicians got their

treaties mixed up.

They agreed for

Cleethorpes to be

the capital of Europe

and for Jedward

to be the new President.

 

There was no referendum.

 

'The Sun' was appalled

because they had no influence over it.

They shifted their allegiances

to Skegness and

'Strictly Come Dancing' instead.

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Despair

DESPAIR

You seduced the moon, undressing it with your soul.

 

You aroused the stars, turning them on with melancholy.

 

You tortured them with anticipation.

 

You wern't into long distance relationships

 

so slept with my best mate instead.

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Melting Ice-Cream

Noughts and Crosses in the sky,

Hopscotch on the lake;

Musical status trees observe

the water muscle's shake.

 

Rhyming smells skip through the air,

sleeping blossom wakes;

Sounds of stillness resonate

like Bluebells' stomach ache.

 

The lemon custard frisbee smiles

as ‘Kiss Chase’ swans play dare.

The tissue paper landscape weeps.

I wish I’d been aware.

 

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There's Another Person Leaving

THERE’S ANOTHER PERSON LEAVING

 

There’s another person leaving.

We’re less popular than thieving.

So I know what I’m receiving:-

     Another card to sign.

 

He only started yesterday.

I never met him anyway.

So what the hell am I to say?

     ‘You’re the fastest to resign!’

 

The comments range from ‘It’s A Shame’

to ‘All the best’ and ‘Call again!’.

But no one seems to know your n...

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IT Support

 

Accused of touching

      female rears,

          the manager

              broke down in tears.

                   His IT colleagues

                         backed him up,

                              restoring

                                   reputation.

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