I was out for an eye test when we met

We stood there, chastened, two old lags

It must have been quite thirty years

You couldn't see her eyes for bags

Straight off, I grasped her clammy hand

She blinked at me, looked even sadder

When out of guilt I blurted out:

"Did you ever see about your bladder?"

She'd had it since the twins came

It meant our love life did a ...

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Away The Lad

When you haven’t got a friend

Or a carer you can reach

Then plan a family trip

To the better equipped North East

County Durham’s nice this time of year

Or so I hear them say

And simply by happenstance

It’s only my wife’s birthday

You see me and the Missus

developed a little cough

so we panicked and headed North

and all the newspaper can Fu...

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