Hi pete,
good to see you posting again. Do I sense a change of style in these last two. This one... a true story for many no doubt. Win

Comment is about Dormant Virus (blog)

Can relate...
Lovely, yet some very sad sentiments expressed...

xxxxx

Comment is about Dormant Virus (blog)

Tommy, really liked the content. Again its the presentation that turned me off. Why make it look like three different pieces of work, cut and pasted together. You lost the poignancy by separating the stanzas.

Comment is about Blackened Berries (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Janet I have just realized that I didn't comment on the poem apart from its structure.
The imagery I thought was wonderful. The choice of words in places I thought poor. There were too many I's, ands, of's etc. They are a waste. When you think that one word synchronicity says so much, try to use strong words in future. Haiku is hard, good haiku is incredibly difficult.

Comment is about Out of the Darkness (revised edition) (blog)

Perhaps you could just change it to 'beneath oil-rig blackened sky'. Hats off to you - it is so hard being confined to such a rigid structure.
x

Comment is about Out of the Darkness (revised edition) (blog)

Hello Janet. Unless I'm mistaken your syllable count is out on some of the middle lines. They should be 5-7-5 shouldn't they?

Comment is about Out of the Darkness (revised edition) (blog)

Hi Tommy, i really enjoyed this poem of yours.
It shows a more understanding side than your recent posts. I realize we shouldn't make assessments of people through their writings but it does happen so it's nice to see you have multi characteristics. :-)

Janet.x

Comment is about Blackened Berries (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

I'm a bit like Chris in that i tend to avoid reading war poetry but in this case i'm glad i did.
It tells the feelings and thoughts of one soldier and yet so many more have this very same story, even those who engage in their own wars of emotions. As Francine rightly says, those lines can be associated with on many levels.

Nice one Pete.
Janet.x

Comment is about aint no hero (blog)

Janet, how terrific! Good haiku verses picking up different aspects of your main idea. The choice of words (diction) is imaginative and the music within the words flows along. Also for me, I enjoy that each verse could actually stand alone as a complete, engaging, provocative thought.

Comment is about Out of the Darkness (revised edition) (blog)

as a poet friend said to me this might be the afterlife if so we dream it!

Comment is about ARE WE ALREADY DEAD?.... (blog)

Je t'avais dit qu'il ne faut jamais dire jamais ; )
Tu sais ce que je pense de toute façon...

This is so true... you capture it well.

'every day we fight, it never ends in the head
I have not a shred of emotion left except anger, guilt and disgust
I trust no one not even myself
you ever felt like that?,
when you can’t feel nothing,
and you don’t want to either.'

xxxxx

Comment is about aint no hero (blog)

I don't often identify much with war poetry, not only beyond my experience, but beyond my understanding - I tend to think in terms of the philosophy of the 'Universal Soldier'. But - as ever with your writing, it is a good read, and fantastic to see you back here.
Cx

Comment is about aint no hero (blog)

Another great contribution Tommy. Like this a lot. Win

Comment is about Blackened Berries (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

I truly meant to congratulate you on being recognized on WOLOP. This a separate post just so you won't miss it.

Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

It's so good - captures a great moment with honesty and humour. The detail is marvellous, and the repetition shows how scored your experience was.

Comment is about THE BANTAM COCK (blog)

Original item by Rodney Wood

I adore this. Not sure why, but I do. I don't know enough yet about poetry than to offer a 'personal opinion' based on the feelings that it evoked in me...it hit the spot for me. Very lovely. I think its simplicity is the key.

Lovely.

Jx

Comment is about Blackened Berries (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanks Spencer.
I really enjoyed Tuesday and nice to meet you.
I've been to a couple of Open Mics before but they were 10% Poems and 90% Discussion - mostly a load of bollocks. So Chapel Allerton was a pleasant revelation.
Keep posting.
John

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Tommy,
I expect Jerry would love the poem. I'm one of those people who just don't get him.

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

I really like this Tommy. Its different from your usual style, and shows a a gentler, more lyrical side of you. Good one.
Cate xx

Comment is about Blackened Berries (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

I LOVE Jerry Sadowitz

Comment is about JERRY SADOWITZ (blog)

Original item by Rodney Wood

Thanks Isobel, gobbledegoookeeoohgooksomemoregoodecrap.
nkidsssdeermmmpackitineeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrmdehobbllledegookgookdeermdeeebedtime

You know what I mean.

nicky x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Nicky
I said all I wanted to elsewhere : that sometimes it's better to leave oneself out of a poem in order to develop further the portrait of a life which you are painting. I can imagine your poem as the basis of a film-script : glimpses day by day of the life of another, and the story unfolding (Hitchcock country..).
I wanted to know more -- that's a good sign ?

But I acknowledge that what I have in mind is not the poem you've written or wanted to write.. However, I love poems which call out my feelings about the lives of others. So I was glad to read it, and wouldn't want to unpick your knitting, pearl by dropstitch...

Comment is about Single Malt Rain (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

I can certainly identify with the feelings in the poem Nicky - you and I have just been there too many times...
Long gone are the days when I can enjoy long stretches of restful unbroken sleep even when the kids aren't jumping up and down on me. Once you have children, compress too much into too little, you kind of lose the ability to switch off.

Comment is about Apples and Pears (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

So when are you going to post your 'Take a Break' poem Chris? Loved it last night at the Tudor and this site could do with a laugh...

Comment is about christine yates (poet profile)

Original item by christine yates

Nice to of met you the other night , I have just about got over my coughing fit. It would have to happen as I am about to read and put me off my stride. I liked your spot it was great.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Absolutely beautiful Cynthia. You make such a statement with just a few lines.

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

This is a fine poem Cynthia ,Dare I suggest " is re-born" instead of "converged". Steve Smith

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I've read this loads of times and love it!

Janet.x

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Very amusing. I can picture you singing this.
Do you have a eukelele? (pardon me if i spelled it wrong)
Janet.x

Comment is about When I'm winding cleaners (blog)

Original item by Horace Thespider

That's a question i ask myself daily. :-)

Janet.x

Comment is about Holes in the Box (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Ah yes, that weird word rang a bell and indeed its an incredible musical feat. the poem is a suitable tribute / accompanyment. win

Comment is about Gymnopedies (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanks for the comments! It is a lovely thing to go mad isn't it?....!

Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

Thanks for the comment Cate, 'double bummer' when your are working till four thirty because the only quiet time in the house is after 10pm......and then the youngest decide to wake up at 4pm, and by the time you have settled them by 6, the next wave errupts, and the rest of those beautiful little blighters come 'a bouncing' on your bed, pinching your pillow, sticking fingers up your nose and in your ears and throwing dodies and bottles with deadly aim, that normally bounce off your head!!:-)

11 cups of coffee later...........school run, and third wind takes over. haha.

nicky x :-)

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Hello.. not seen you post for a while since your last spidery poem, but I do like reading your work. Its light heartedness always amuses me and brings a smile.... something not often achieved on this site!!
Cate xx

Comment is about When I'm winding cleaners (blog)

Original item by Horace Thespider

Beautiful sensual imagery here.
Cate xx

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

This appealed to me Tommy.... how shall I say?....it has a resonance!! Cate xx

Comment is about Gymnopedies (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Hi Nicky... I loved it too.....All mums can identify with the 4 30 touch... a bummer when your counting the hours down when you have to get up for work!!
Cate xx

Comment is about Apples and Pears (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

He was a bit of all right then, Cynth!

Lovely poem, and proof that sometimes it pays to go purple.

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

A superb poem always leaves you wanting more. ( I believe I heard this off someone once before - can't quite recall who it was that said that to me x). Cannot top the other comments, but what a beautiful way to reach fullfillment of any kind.

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

This is a special thing. Take care of it. Win x

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Phil Great stuff. A litarary Buttress of a piece. Lots of interesting aspects to delve into. Win
P.S. Great Pic, Look into the eyes... not around the eyes! lol
P.P.S. Apostrophe in Eagle's :-)

Comment is about To write a poem! (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

Well... Tommy I really liked this musical piece.
Is Gymnopedies something to do with piano music? Winston

Comment is about Gymnopedies (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanks John! I have more stuff up at www.myspace.com/jackiejuno but will add more here when I have a minute!

Comment is about Jackie Juno (poet profile)

Original item by Jackie Juno

...the ending often does.

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Think I missed that one Graham in the 'How to be a Mum' handbook.

Very well said. Then maybe it is true that you can never find 'silence'.

Comment is about Silence (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

I thought that the first half of this piece was really special but I'm afraid it left me hanging there. I wanted more from the ending, either that or the ending came too quickly.

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

that must have been one hell of a fart

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Nicky, hasn't anyone ever told you? Silence is deafening!

Comment is about Silence (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

saw a lot in a few words - good stuff!

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas