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Isobel

Fri 4th Mar 2011 06:57

Thanks for your comment Francine. I would prefer to go with Greg's defiant. Bitter isn't a pleasant word, for me - it tends to go with twisted - which I don't think I am. I would agree with sad though. x

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<Deleted User> (6895)

Fri 4th Mar 2011 00:04

very heartfelt,lovely poem Dave.Thanks for sharing.Best regards to you from Stef and Pat Wilde.xx

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Francine

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 23:18

I haven't listened yet, but I can imagine this coming across as more humorous performed. For me, on the page it reads as bitter and sad.

The line 'regret pressed to every empty seam' says it all.
I like the ending too from 'Consider...' on.

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Joy France

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 23:08

I love this. nuff said!

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winston plowes

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 21:08

Anthony, just spent the last 1/2 hr reading all about the Neil Moss tragedy (inc your links). What an amazing and of course tragic story and fitting poem. Thx Win

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Isobel

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 20:44

Your comment about my comment reminds me of an old joke my dad used to tell. It all hung round the interpretation of these words.

'What do you think - I'll shave you for nothing and buy you a drink?'

Depending on the intonation and whether you left a pause after What, it could reflect astonishment that anyone could be so stupid, or a genuine offer of something for nothing.

Humour used to be a lot more simple back in his day... or maybe it's got more so.

Yep - all the scraps on here can be amusing or upsetting depending on what mood you are in. How deeply you get involved depends on where you are yourself also. In my early days I got right in there and very fired up. Not so much nowadays - I tend to find I've said and done it all before - it is just a little bit of history repeating - just to echo some Shirley Bassey lyrics I know...

Sorry I've no great revelations to show you... you'd probably be disappointed anyway! x



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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 20:43

Thank you, dear Stefan! Love and hugs, Odessa girl.

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<Deleted User> (6895)

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 20:31

enjoyed this poem lovely Odessa girl-thank you!xx

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Anthony Emmerson

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 20:20

Disregard that last message - I totally misread yours. Brain a little worse for wee . . I mean wear tonight. You wrote - "See what happens when you come back!" Which I took to mean "Find out what happens on your return" - meaning later today. I thought it was some revelatory offering. Silly me.

I guess these days I might be more inclined to sit back and smile at it all. I'm not sure it's worth it. (Pretty boring too!) I don't think anyone with any degree of a sense of humour can rail at the world - convincingly at least, for any great length of time.

But you have to admit it's funny to watch though!

Regards,
A.E.



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Anthony Emmerson

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 19:52

Oh come on! You can't leave it hanging in the air like that! (Reminder to self - "Yes she can, she's a woman.")

Do tell!

Regards,
A.E.

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Isobel

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 18:43

Yes - nothing much has changed on here - except recently it has...
See what happens when you come back LOL - Apocalypse Now! x

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Isobel

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 18:41

Thanks for the comments all.

Yes, I thought it was a bit sad too, Dave, which worried me cos I wanted to do a funny performance piece. I've performed it once though and the humour seems to come across more than the pathos.

Greg - you would love my Big Spender - Shirley Bassey has nothing on it!

I doubt I'll ever know how to cartwheel - could never manage it as a child. Those attending the Tudor next week may be in for another treat though :))

Ray you may be right about the second verse. It was a meant to be a lighthearted piece - not serious poetry. It went down well in Middleton - I think because it was easy to grasp and something anyone could identify with. That's the kind of thing I like to write about. x

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Dave Carr

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 18:17

Very good. I like this.
Also read some of your other poems. Very enjoyable.
Best wishes.
Dave

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Dave Carr

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 18:11

Very good. Quite sad too.
See you at the Tudor then.
Perhaps you could learn to cartwheel by then.
Dave

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Dave Carr

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 18:00

"Little pink houses for you and me" - John Mellencamp
Definitely not Claret and Blue!
I didn't see any chickens there. Want some?
Also liked your Clown poem.
Dave

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 17:03

is it because 'them up north' are outsiders?

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Ray Miller

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 08:35

Thanks Greg, Isobel, Win. My wife doesn't realise how lucky she is, now you come to mention it.

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Ray Miller

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 08:32

Good poem, Isobel, I liked the dust reign/rain Miss Haversham style and the Big Spender references - maybe you could make more of that.2nd verse rhymes trying too hard perhaps?Compressed, flattened - that's very good too.

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Anthony Emmerson

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 02:13

Hi Isobel,

Hope all is well with you & yours.

I just saw the comment you left on Rachel's "em." I have heard of Marshall Mathers actually - I even possess some of his music! I thought "Stan" was a great track the first time I heard it - still do in fact.

Nothing changes much around here, does it?

Regards,
A.E.

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Anthony Emmerson

Thu 3rd Mar 2011 01:53

Gulp! Scarily good (in a good way!)

Regards,
A.E.

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Greg Freeman

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 22:28

Powerful, defiant, triumphant. Would have liked to have heard your full version of Big Spender!

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Greg Freeman

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 22:23

Top-notch, Ray. Life-affirming

Comment is about Clown (blog)

<Deleted User> (7212)

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 21:58

not really a poem - but very well written. It's a pity we can't all get along a bit better given that we're only here such a short time.B

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alisonsmiles68@gmail.com

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 21:22

Thank you - I'm kind of chuffed!

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alisonsmiles68@gmail.com

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 21:21

Thank you - first time I've won anything with a poem, really rather chuffed.

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<Deleted User> (6895)

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 21:09

ta for your kindness re 'Keef'-I shall never call you Nana again.On one condition....you drop by specsavers(only jesting)x

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Isobel

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 18:04

I love it! You restore my faith in humanity. A passionate husband who goes the full distance, is tolerant of chaos AND has a sense of humour... does your wife realise how lucky she is? I'm guessing she is very special lady also.
Don't ask me to critique it - I couldn't. x

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Francine

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 17:08

Hi Elaine,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on
'All that you want...'
It is always interesting to me how someone interprets... x

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winston plowes

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 16:51

Interesting how you have incorporated the words here Cynthia. Many of these lines are reasons I moved out of Manchester! Win x

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winston plowes

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 16:49

Hi Cynthia, thank you for your comments on belt, glad you liked it. Win

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winston plowes

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 16:48

Hi isobel, Thankyou for commenting on Belt. yes there is a shift between the emotional and the descriptive which seemed to happen by itself! Win

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winston plowes

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 16:44

refreshing rhyming scheme with this on Ray, good story to carry the reader along too. Win

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Francine

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 16:35

This is so full of emotion and images that paints both a sad yet heart-warming tale.

Oh how I LOVE red flowers!... It is enough to brighten anyone's day!

xxx

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David Mac

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 15:13

all i was trying to say was there is only life or death, and you can choose to keep living or to die at any point, to commit suicide or not, to keep on living a little bit longer.
this is what my days are like lately: heads or tails...

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David Mac

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 15:12

all i was trying to say was there is only life or death, and you can choose to keep living or to die at any point, to commit suicide or not, to keep on living a little bit longer.
this is what my days are like lately: heads or tails...

Comment is about Life Bores Us All To Death (blog)

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Isobel

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 15:05

Can I just add my congratulations.

That is a very powerful poem and you are indeed a worthy winner. I am sorry that you have had to go through such experiences to write it though. Your grit and determination not to be beaten does you proud. x

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 14:41

This is interesting. In stanza 4, the theme seems to be inevitability. Even if 'death' is 'Boredom', then I think the idea still gets a bit 'iffy' putting 'death/life' into the simplistic, unarguable category such as the odds of heads/tails. Assuming the work pokes hard at choosing not to live Life at its fullest, to deliberately curry pessimism and personal put-downs, I feel the two ideas of mathematical certainty and choice do not join well in one poem.

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Anthony Emmerson

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 14:40

Hi Alison,

Well done on your much deserved POTM.

Regards,
A.E.

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winston plowes

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 13:28

Hi Steven, looking at your poems, this one came out. http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=19680

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Andy N

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 08:19

like the loop in this piece, Steven.. I think you work really well in bringing the piece full circle.. Well done..

Comment is about The Little Things (blog)

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Rachel Bond

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 02:33

loved 'lifelines' going to give a copy to my mum, shell like it. she sits and knits all sorts of wonderful things xx

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Rachel Bond

Wed 2nd Mar 2011 02:30

thanks for comments on em..nice to connect with another fan, there is some snobbery surrounding eminem's poetic genius...but with lyrics like "shove a gerbil up your ass..through a tube" Ive no idea why ;)
Truly yours, his biggest fan, 'i killed stan',
X

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Elaine Booth

Tue 1st Mar 2011 21:16

This was a pleasure to read, Jane.

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Elaine Booth

Tue 1st Mar 2011 21:09

This is stunning. "Where suicidal thoughts seep between the bricks and mortar / And knives on skin is just one of those daily things" and "And I’m proper fucking rude to him / ‘Cause he challenges everything I know about me" are fantastic lines. There is no question - this is a lived experience. I recognise it but this is so strong that even if the reader didn't have personal experience it would still be a very potent poem.

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Jon

Tue 1st Mar 2011 20:52

Hi Elaine,
Nice to hear this again.This haiku has a cosy atmospheric feel to it. The words sound fascinating when said slowly. Thanks for your comments also on "It's So Touching".

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Elaine Booth

Tue 1st Mar 2011 20:23

Thanks for your comments on the haiku. xxx

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Elaine Booth

Tue 1st Mar 2011 20:21

Thanks for your comment on the haiku. It was good fun to do! x

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Elaine Booth

Tue 1st Mar 2011 20:20

Andy, would love to read that rude limerick of yours sometime. And who was the famous co-author? Thanks for commenting on our haiku! x

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Elaine Booth

Tue 1st Mar 2011 20:19

Thanks for your comment on the haiku. Tried writing one with 4 of us last week - good fun to see what turns up! x

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