This is really sad Ray, and to my mind, really well written, not bang-on obvious but hinting around the sides sorta thing
Comment is about Unwound (blog)
Mmm, depressive, heavy, really gets the (un)feeling across. Nice one Stella
Comment is about Unfeeling (blog)
Thank you Patricia & Stefan. He is indeed a great companion!
Comment is about He knows! (blog)
Original item by zethembiso mkhize
excellent stuff, dave.. need to show this to my other half - she's a proper romantic - she will love this xx
Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
ha ha excellent, lynn.. freaking me out however how near it is in particular when i am seeing christmas cards in the shops already xx
Comment is about Mama Santa (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
the ending adds a nice twist to the rest of the piece, stella (which i enjoyed too of course) but it's top stuff all round xx
Comment is about Unfeeling (blog)
nice stuff, Kath... little change in style I would say for it going even more shorter and shorter here... i think i can see a subtext here which i'll pull up in a pm too but top stuff xx
Comment is about For a moment (blog)
Original item by Kath Hewitt
<Deleted User> (9635)
Tue 11th Oct 2011 08:11
Hi Ann, thanks for the kind comment, Neil
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Hi Larisa, Thank you so much for your kind comments on 'True Love Starts' - the inspiration for that piece came from the picture I posted with it. :) Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Enjoyed this; sounds very much in the spirit of A Boy Named Sue. That eternal theme of trying to win a parent's approval.
Comment is about DADDY KNEW JOHNNY CASH (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
I wouldn't like to say that this poem is sentimental. It is more mental It's true, it's sincere. that's why it is so dear.
Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Is it possible to say that true love starts from nowhere but comes to somewhere?
Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Dave! This poem is beautiful! It is so nice! It's just incredible! Love it so much! Can't find the words to express myself! This poem is really one of the best.
Love and hugs,
Larisa
Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
<Deleted User> (6315)
Mon 10th Oct 2011 23:35
Those last two line pack the punch as I guess you wanted..but to be honest I like it without lol..good read either way sir.. :)
Comment is about Eraser (blog)
Hello MC - Thank you for your kind comments on 'True Love Starts' - they were much appreciated. Good luck with your book! Dave
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Hi Shirley, thanks for your comments. I'd give it a go, it's only 70p or so for 40 such articles in a trashy mag so you can scribble on them until you get summing useful! My book is called 'A Method In My Madness'. You can buy it on Amazon, order it through a book shop using the ISBN or get it from me! :)
Comment is about "Love You Millions" A Cut-Up Type Poem (blog)
Original item by Gemma Lees
Thanks, Stef, but have to admit I never did learn how to play the thing! xx
Comment is about Mama Santa (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
<Deleted User> (6895)
Mon 10th Oct 2011 20:45
a silk scarf!!!
now come on Lynn-
what can you play on a silk scarf?
'wrapping around the christmas tree' p'raps?
I,ll get me coat-
I,m presently having guitar lessons
-so far I ,ve learned how to
unzip the case-hahaha!
made me 'chorkle L.D.
was gonna say it made me feel highly strung
but I,ve only got one coat-lol!
S+P=xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Comment is about Mama Santa (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Honest sentiment and sentimentality are unrelated. I like this - coming as it does from the heart.
M.C.
Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Franz- the click and the tut have differing sound values- :o)
Comment is about Persephone's Perpetuum (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
<Deleted User> (6895)
Mon 10th Oct 2011 20:15
Hi Zeth
(please pardon the liberty)
you will never find
a greater companion.
lovely poem.
thank you.
Patricia&Stef.xx
Comment is about He knows! (blog)
Original item by zethembiso mkhize
Mike - thanks for the kind enquiry. Never felt
better! But the imagination is God-given in my
view.
M.C.
Comment is about BE STILL (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Wow! You've done something I've never had the courage to do. Well done.
It flows and reads very well.
Martin mentioned you have a book? Is it listed? I'd like to take a look at it. Cute illustration.
Shirley
Comment is about "Love You Millions" A Cut-Up Type Poem (blog)
Original item by Gemma Lees
Philipos
Mon 10th Oct 2011 16:51
Hello Ann, 'Sensorial' just thought i'd let the pen go where it wanted to although originally it began as a 'Men are from Mars' idea. Appreciate your comments thanks.
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Yes, this was way too cryptic, Ray, but now I find it interesting as you've told us a story through the names of cocktails!
p.s. I have only ever heard of two of them - Screwdriver and Fuzzy Navel!
Comment is about Shortlist (blog)
Compere is the lovely Louise Coulson
Comment is about Back to business at Write Out Loud Wigan tonight (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Yikes - think I would have needed to be psychic to work that one out! Now I understand, I see more humour in it though. Maybe you could give us some explanations and ask us to put the cocktails to it next time.... xx
Comment is about Shortlist (blog)
You're not the only one by any means, Isobel. It's a list of shorts/cocktails. Shortlist. One is meant to discern in the narrative arc a night of debauchery
Americano - a yank
Cable Car - on top of the world
Hollywood - living the dream
Redheaded Slut - he meets a girl
Screwdriver - speaks for itself?
Pearl Harbour - suddenly the drink takes its toll
Mudslide - things get messy and slide downhill
Banshee - she's not too good, either
Tomahawk - and she has a tomahawk
Fuzzy Navel - things calm down, you try to contemplate and make sense but...
Sombrero - you're out.
Comment is about Shortlist (blog)
Sorry - it's lost on me. You'll have to explain it. I did think it was an odd poem. I like to understand stuff though - so if you would be so good...
Comment is about Shortlist (blog)
I'm so glad your STD test was clear Jeff - we don't need to worry about you coming to Wigan! ;-) xx
Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Thanks for your comment on my poem - glad it entertained. I've enjoyed taking a look through yours. I like your Thoughts at Christmas - in particular the way you accept loss as part of life and the fact that you can still see the magic in that life.
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Aaa but... I wonder what the bore exercising his jaw is making of you? Funny subject for a poem. Most original.
Comment is about Bore (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Review is about Blind Poetics on 14 Nov 2011 (event)
Oh yes Jeff! there are many things that we wish for to happen that just aint gonna happen!
Comment is about It Just Ain't Gonna Happen!! (blog)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Thank you guys for welcoming me so warmly. I do feel at home. I am really going to enjoy my time here at WOL! I can feel it!
Comment is about zethembiso mkhize (poet profile)
Original item by zethembiso mkhize
Hi Jeff. Thanks for your comments on Autism. There is a good clear explanation on Autism and Aspergers syndrome on the National Autistic Society' website. It can be a difficult thing to understand but affects far more people directly and inderectly than most realise. Keep Well. Win
Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Hi Tom. Thanks for your lovely comments on my poem 'autism' It wrote itself in my head! Win X
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
<Deleted User> (6895)
Mon 10th Oct 2011 10:24
we shall brave the elements
and say-WOW!
P&S
Comment is about The End of Summer (IV) (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Hi Win;
Regarding End of Summer IV.. I agree m8. I will sit down and get onto this when I get chance (Running round looking for a new job at the moment).
Hope you are good. May have a idea for you regarding readings in the new year too (Will drop you a email).
Cheers
A
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
Hi Win;
Regarding End of Summer IV.. I agree m8. I will sit down and get onto this when I get chance (Running round looking for a new job at the moment).
Hope you are good
Cheers
A
Comment is about The End of Summer (IV) (blog)
Original item by Andy N
<Deleted User> (6895)
Mon 10th Oct 2011 10:18
your best one yet young Dave.
so say two-
of one heart!
Patricia and Stef.xx
Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Hi Andy, glad you liked Autism. Yes it is rather compact. I like that style hence I suppose my comments on your latest. Win x
Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)
Original item by Andy N
Hi Andy,
You have capture things very nicely in this one.
Could it do with a trim however? e.g.
In 1st stanza didn't understand 2nd lne.
'like they are' could be replaced with 'as' in 2nd stanza
'making it appear' with 'so' in 3rd
the last part is perfect for me. A great seaside snapshot. Win x
Comment is about The End of Summer (IV) (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Hi Jeff;
thanks for the comments over End of Summer IV.. Yeah, there is a little edit or two that needs making which I'll get to in the future.
As for been a Means to an End, I can imagine it been a nightmare but oddly fun too! See you Tuesday!
Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Thanks Jeff, Francice and Philipos for your comments here..
I agree with you Philipos over the first stanza.. Am proud of the full piece, but am a huge fan of the first stanza too.
Yes, Francine the piece is very atomsphere based. Was a challenge to write something where so much is sad but not really said.
And Jeff - As a means to an End.. I could imagine it been a total nightmare trying to do this but who knows! lol
Comment is about The End of Summer (IV) (blog)
Original item by Andy N
good stuff, terry.. may have split up the last line a bit but it's a top piece, man.. A
Comment is about And After (blog)
Hi Noetic - thanks for commenting, it is much appreciated. I guess red roses 'crop up' in quite a few poems, though dear Spike's 'The New Rose' is perhaps the poem you were alluding to - the one where the baby discovers their thorns...
I wonder why thornless roses aren't cultivated - have they never been admitted to Eton? ;)
Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Ragged plastic bags of men,
corrugated steel in makeshift den,
bellies begging bring me bonee to chew,
for i haven't eaten for a week or two.
'we' are eating sunday lunch,
already bursting from a blow up brunch,
no time to let and digest mass,
while their skinny selves have had no faecal pass.
Why is it, why indeed,
do we sweat so much,
while their stomachs bleed?
The world is destroying itself nick, destroying itself with the greed of the west. Yet still while we are doing this their are peoples that cannot eat.
Top poem nick
noetic
x
Comment is about UNCARING MAN (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
Laura Taylor
Tue 11th Oct 2011 10:39
I'm a huge JC fan and yup - it totally has the rhythm of one/loads of his songs! I really like this.
Have you heard of a band called Alabama 3? They did a tribute song to JC which was made up of loads of his song titles, clever stuff - it's called Hello I'm Johnny Cash. Bloody brilliant.
Comment is about DADDY KNEW JOHNNY CASH (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry