Some great lines in this...'I'd drink them in at 3am with sea salt and lime.' and pretty much the whole of that 3rd verse

Comment is about Looking Back (blog)

Thanks, Nick. Second Life is an online game/world where people can play at being who they are not. I'm trying to show, in my clumsy way, how our public space has been abandoned, or stolen, and replaced by the private sphere, cyberspace.

Comment is about Your Space or Mine (blog)

I think we could all do with an hour a day in a room like this.

Comment is about Mavis (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

A joy to read

Comment is about An Avian Theme (blog)

You capture the reader in this Laura, and you don't let them go until after they have spent the day with you in this magical room you knew in your childhood. Brilliant.

Comment is about Mavis (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Does 'Second Lifer' mean you've to kill again? You're right we should lament the passing of decent - indecent - graffiti (hope you've speeled that correctly 'cos I copied yours) I must infer from the 'courting couple's loss of premise' that there is no conclusion! Goodly stuff, ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about Your Space or Mine (blog)

I don't know what to say. I'm overwhelmed really. Thank you all. I was planning to enter the Rialto comp. but it didn't occur to me that these poems count as published work. I'll have a think. I've never had any luck with previous comps. Ray, i agree with your comment about 'archipelago' if only because it makes the line one letter too long - and i do like precision. Mind you, nothing i write is ever finished and i constantly edit so i'll give it some more attention. Thanks again.

Comment is about An Avian Theme (blog)

Great poem.

Comment is about Then (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

This is good. I especially like the lines..

'No trial you can set me will diminish my responsibility

To love you all.

I will love till the hatred batters me dead

And I will be reborn

Again'

Comment is about Agape ( A-gap-ay) (blog)

Original item by Rachel Bond

barbi, thanks for all your supportive words. i too love your poetry and am happy that love is the thing. i love writing. i love reading. i love, you love, we love, loves up. i just posted a poem about love. xx

Comment is about BT (poet profile)

Original item by BT

this is fucking brilliant.
this is the kind of stuff that its all about.

every line great.

star x

more!

Comment is about Efflorescence. (blog)

Original item by Danny Metcalfe

All I can say to this Lynn is-
AhWmMMk OOO+2 FLEbs.

Roald Dahl-eatcha heart out!!xx

Comment is about "KRUNF!" Says The Fnurk (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Jon. Wow this is powerful.
I myself have panic attacks and sometimes
nightmares. I wrote my poem "The City" after
a panic attack.
Your poem brings to mind vivid images.
Good writing. You should use this poem during Halloween also.

Shirley

Comment is about Night Terrors (blog)

Hello John. Thank you for your comment on my poem "The City". I actually wrote this after a panic attack. I suffer from these and it made me think about how a crowded side walk would feel.

Thanks
Shirley

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Stunning images delivered in brilliant word pictures.I keep re-reading them. This is one to be proud of and, as Laura says, definitely competition material. Quick fill in the entry form! xx

Comment is about An Avian Theme (blog)

These are very good. These two lines are as fine as I've seen for a long while.

in mirrors made by cloud, for cloud,

to catch its own decline.

Mind, I'd do without "archipelago".

Sprung, like novel punctuation - that's terrific, too. Pity you haven't a rhyme for "grace"!

Comment is about An Avian Theme (blog)

I must be psychic. I was just thinking of Blakes Tyger, Tyger and surmising that someone must have parodied it at some time, when lo and behold up pops Spanyel.
I love this take on a dog owner's blues. Anyone who has had a dog will recognise this. Great fun, done well.

Comment is about Spanyel (blog)

Original item by Marnanel Thurman

Thank you for the responses. This incident occurred some years ago. It is unclear if the guys were gay though I suspect this sort of thing is not restricted to the gay community.

The long term result is quite real but arguably feminine . Body dysmorphia like anorexia does occur among blokes.

I wanted to show a young man 17 ish who sauntered without a care into the gents but in the short space of the incident is changed rapidly by the events ..which is what happened

Comment is about Acid Attack (blog)

Original item by fiona sinclair

here she is again, the queen of the flobadobs.
There's a whole new language here - when are you producing the dictionary? Have you thought about auditioning for Bill And Ben?

Comment is about "KRUNF!" Says The Fnurk (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Not sure about this either. Title's not helping me. If it's about masculinity and size or hair, or lack of it, then would he be "sauntering" into toilets in the first place?
lay-by should be hyphenated.
I like the last verse best. Not come across mizzled before, nice word.

Comment is about Acid Attack (blog)

Original item by fiona sinclair

Hi Gareth - welcome to WOL.

Comment is about Gareth Mathias (poet profile)

Original item by Gareth Mathias

Hi Danny - welcome to WOL.

Comment is about Danny Metcalfe (poet profile)

Original item by Danny Metcalfe

Well, this is the 2nd of the 2 poems I have written to date. Not quite the finished article yet - it's probably too long and I think you need to be a lover of words to stand any chance of getting through it!
It does "scan" though - particularly if read with a northern / regional accent, but I'm aware this is rather untidy, so any contructive pointers to help it flow better would be appreciated. Thanks :)

Comment is about O-U-S (blog)

Original item by David Lindsay

Thanks for these encouraging comments. I might get round to tidying it up at some point, but will leave it for now I think. Happy to take on board any specific pointers on particular lines to get me on the right track though.

Comment is about Two Suns (blog)

Original item by David Lindsay

Not so much "fake Blake" as an amusing "take" on Blake. Paws for thought!

Comment is about Spanyel (blog)

Original item by Marnanel Thurman

A really imaginative analogy of love and the seasons, with a clever use of the late winter months "courting" the beautiful Spring who surrenders herself to the promises of handsome May.
Extraordinarily good for one whose English is not the first language.

Comment is about Happy Marriage (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Strong stuff. Though I'm not sure if this is a vignette of predatory gays at work on youth - or sadistic verbal assault by bullying straights on self-conscious youth. Certainly, the content is potent but the long term result appears to be feminine "self-loathing" - more likely than any masculine equivalent: a personal (male) POV, of course.

Comment is about Acid Attack (blog)

Original item by fiona sinclair

Julian - each one is different, I've found. I've asked publishers before and almost all of them have said that WOL isn't the same as being published, but I suppose with such a big comp as the rialto one, better to be safe than sorry.

This is a brilliant poem btw - you'd be daft not to enter it

Comment is about An Avian Theme (blog)

Why thank you Mr Pryce. Was a pleasure to have you perform!

Review is about Write Out Loud on 24 Apr 2012 (event)

Thanks guys.

I am snowed under with work this week Winston but going to be doing Stirred next monday if you are around? Have a good 'un tonight - I'll be thinking of thee. x

Comment is about Portrait of Love on a Dove’s Tail (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

better check the regs for the comp. if it needs to be unpublished, take it off here and put it back after the competition deadline. I keep saying that we should treat these blogs as unpublished, work-in-progress; an online workshop, to distinguish it from publication that would prevent entry to mags and comps.
perhaps we need two sections: one called work-in-progress, one called published, or similar.
or not?

Comment is about An Avian Theme (blog)

Couldn't agree more with Laura, Reading at Bad language in Manc tonight (John will be there too). win x

Comment is about Portrait of Love on a Dove’s Tail (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

If you haven't already entered this into the RSPB and Rialto nature poetry comp, then you should!

Comment is about An Avian Theme (blog)

Reminds me of Blake in a way, this.

Just read it again - this must be a spoof of Tyger :D :D

Comment is about Spanyel (blog)

Original item by Marnanel Thurman

Absolutely lush from start to finish!

Comment is about Portrait of Love on a Dove’s Tail (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

An absolutely brilliant night, with a high standard of Open Mic talent before the three guests.
Rod Tame is a very friendly, encouraging and approachable host, and 'Open Micers' travelled from as far away as Yorkshire to participate.
A good balance of humour, feeling and genuinely beautiful poetry (and poets!). Go along next month for more fantastic guests and Open Mic talent.

Review is about Write Out Loud on 27 Mar 2012 (event)

quiver rut of rabbit clots - immense line that. This piece is packed with some beautifully alliterative lines, and really brutal and aggressive imagery. The title fits the piece well.

Comment is about A Suggestion of Defence (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Hmmm...can't quite work this one out. Is it really about body dysmorphia?

It's very well composed, anyway, great opener, and flows nicely

Comment is about Acid Attack (blog)

Original item by fiona sinclair

I used to get actual night terrors, since childhood, but they've lessened now. I managed to tear a mattress all the way down the side during one once.

I thought this was going to be about that sort of thing, but it's a bit different. I do like the lines 'Drinking in the night I become helplessly small'

Comment is about Night Terrors (blog)

Hi Chris, thx for your note. In reply
1) All is well on the Rochdale Canal and in the world of poetry.
2) Yes Hebden WOL does not exist at the mo but plenty of other monthly events in or near hebden (Puzzle poets, Sowerby ,Magic words, Tod, 2 other open mics in Hebden also).
3)Sailing / Cruising even driving all ok by me. No I am not planning relocating.
4) You can now keep up with my monthly poetry news here - www.winstonplowes.co.uk

Carry on...

Win x

Comment is about Chris Co (poet profile)

Original item by Chris Co

This should include winners of a competition to give unpublished writers something to be proud of. But still a great idea nonetheless.

Comment is about Poems set in stone: launching the Pennine Stanza trail (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks for the comment on When One Night I Slept. I'm not suprised you have trouble getting up for work when you're posting comments on 'Write Out Loud' at 2 minutes to 1 in the morning. Thanks again.x

Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

I have sleep paralysis from time to time and this poem reminded me of the grip. Frightening.

Comment is about Night Terrors (blog)

This is a poetic feast!!
Every line is perfection - I really love this.

Excellent.

Comment is about An Avian Theme (blog)

Beautiful, particularly -
"the dreams I'd dreamt of you, and how it took
a dozen books to hope to reach your ears;"

Comment is about Coincidence (blog)

Original item by Marnanel Thurman

Ah yes I so recognise this!
How come I sleep soundly up to and even through the alarm on workdays but am awake at the crack of dawn on non-workdays and nothing can help me go back to sleep?
I like the concept of 'dreaming I was sleeping'
Nice one!

Comment is about WHEN ONE NIGHT I DREAMT' I SLEPT. (blog)

Original item by Peter Asher

Thank you for you comment on Canvas Larisa.
Hazel

Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Thank you, really constructive remarks .

Comment is about The Room (revised) (blog)

Original item by fiona sinclair

Thanks for your comments on The Funny Farm : )

Comment is about fiona sinclair (poet profile)

Original item by fiona sinclair

Sex Symbol/Sensible Shoes is very fine

"localised smile" will remain with me

Comment is about fiona sinclair (poet profile)

Original item by fiona sinclair