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Acid Attack

 

Acid Attack

 

Seventeen, he saunters into the gents,

traces of a mate’s joke on his lips.

The two skulking men leer over shoulders

to appraise the boy’s threat.

 

Croaking Alright

as if pacifying a pair of dangerous dogs,

he selects the furthest urinal.

But they see the fumbled flies,

smell his sweat

hear his tachycardia and

 

slide either side of him

to begin a vicious audit of his body.

Tearing himself from the paralysis of their venom words

he stumbles out the door,

stutters excuses to his pals of ‘feeling unwell’,

then sits in a lay- by sobbing.

 

Twenty years on , every looking glass shows him

a fairground mirror reflection.

So out with mates or on first dates,

a taunting tinnitus   ‘ You are grotesque’.

 

Despite holding our own wasps’ nest pasts,

the therapy group stares, through mizzled eyes at

this man who could adorn an aftershave advert.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

◄ The Room (revised)

Mother's girl ►

Comments

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fiona sinclair

Wed 28th Mar 2012 20:37

Thank you for the responses. This incident occurred some years ago. It is unclear if the guys were gay though I suspect this sort of thing is not restricted to the gay community.

The long term result is quite real but arguably feminine . Body dysmorphia like anorexia does occur among blokes.

I wanted to show a young man 17 ish who sauntered without a care into the gents but in the short space of the incident is changed rapidly by the events ..which is what happened

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Ray Miller

Wed 28th Mar 2012 20:21

Not sure about this either. Title's not helping me. If it's about masculinity and size or hair, or lack of it, then would he be "sauntering" into toilets in the first place?
lay-by should be hyphenated.
I like the last verse best. Not come across mizzled before, nice word.

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 28th Mar 2012 17:20

Strong stuff. Though I'm not sure if this is a vignette of predatory gays at work on youth - or sadistic verbal assault by bullying straights on self-conscious youth. Certainly, the content is potent but the long term result appears to be feminine "self-loathing" - more likely than any masculine equivalent: a personal (male) POV, of course.

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Laura Taylor

Wed 28th Mar 2012 14:25

Hmmm...can't quite work this one out. Is it really about body dysmorphia?

It's very well composed, anyway, great opener, and flows nicely

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