Poetry Blog by Wayne McLellan (humour)
humour (Remove filter)
Devon Brock on You Cheating Bitch! (Mon, 17 Jun 2019 10:35 pm)
I remember the day when we first met, the day I made you mine,
our eyes met across a crowded room and I fed you a funny line.
"What's a cute thing like you doing in a place like this?" I said,
you came home with me that day and spent the night with me in bed.
I considered you my best friend and gave you everything,
I gave you a home, looked after you and took you unde...
Sunday 16th June 2019 9:40 am
Coco the clown went sailing one day
to a holiday destination far far away
Suddenly, the sky went dark and the wind did blow
and the waves beneath his boat did grow and grow
He lost his oars as the winds blew and blew
so he paddled his way with his size 50 shoe.
Through a telescope he saw an island far away in the distance
and he made it to shore with his skill and persistence
Friday 14th June 2019 8:01 am
I bought a piece of land, for my family and me,
to build a perfect home on a plot beside the sea.
I employed a local Surveyor to help draw up the plans,
to build my family dream house on the beach near ‘Ainsdale Sands’
He came and took some measurements and samples from the plot,
and I asked if he could include the moorings for a yacht.
The Surveyor did recommend a custom built lighthouse.
Thursday 13th June 2019 3:24 pm
I saw her standing on a crowded train,
a beautiful face and a perfect frame.
With oriental features and flawless skin,
was this superficial or was there beauty within?
She caught me looking and to my surprise,
she smiled and looked directly into my eyes.
I felt transfixed and my heart took flight,
is this what they mean by 'love at first sight'?
As the train ...
Tuesday 11th June 2019 7:09 am
Long long ago there once lived a King
who wished that a child the stork would bring.
You see he and his Queen were very sad
at the thought of an heir that they never had.
Then, whilst walking beside the sea one night
a talking fish gave the Queen a fright.
It said “soon your wish will come to pass
and you, my Queen, shall bear a lass”
As the fish had predicted th...
Saturday 8th June 2019 12:55 am
At the end of the world where the sea meets the sky,
there's a small strip of land where the mermaids lie.
Where they chit and they chat, or play and have fun,
and top up their tan in the midday sun.
Now it's rare to see a mermaid, and you may never again,
so to see a whole shoal is a rareness x 10.
But this is what happened, or so it is told,
to a young keen explore...
Saturday 27th April 2019 2:45 am
"Fattening up time" the wall calendar read
which meant only one thing to old farmer Ted.
Christmas was coming and there's money to be made
you see the bigger the bird the more he'd be paid.
He'd saved up all year and bought high quality feed
to ensure that his flock was the best he could breed.
So this year Ted's turkeys would be the tastiest in town
and the best biggest...
Wednesday 24th April 2019 9:22 am