I bought a piece of land, for my family and me,
to build a perfect home on a plot beside the sea.
I employed a local Surveyor to help draw up the plans,
to build my family dream house on the beach near ‘Ainsdale Sands’
He came and took some measurements and samples from the plot,
and I asked if he could include the moorings for a yacht.
The Surveyor did recommend a custom built lighthouse.
He suggested that I go home and discuss this with my spouse.
Accepting his advice we telephoned that day,
and asked a local architect to start building right away.
We installed a lighthouse lamp, a million candles bright,
to warn the ships and sailors on a dark or foggy night.
But my wife and I would argue, due to lack of sleep,
"I can take light nights no more" my wife to me would weep.
Several years have passed and I'm living all alone,
She left me for a sailor, shipwrecked near our home!
One day, whilst drowning my sorrows in my local public house,
I met the smooth talking Surveyor and I called him such a louse.
I said; “I was surprised when you advised a lighthouse by the sea,
But I didn't expect the profound effect it would have on my wife and me”.
“No”, said the Surveyor "I think you misunderstand-my concern was with subsidence and the risk of shifting sand
and I advised you to build a ‘lighter house’ upon your plot of land!”