Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

When night comes

The tangerine sun died gallantly

succumbing amid coral pink and turquoise,

then disappearing into slate blue oblivion.

Slowly the sky became black sequinned velvet,

and a pale moon crept timidly forth

outlining all with a silvertipped pen.

In the warm jasmine-scented dusk

the long sharp grass-stems rustled softly

under the deepest tree-shadow.

Night birds call over the dark creek,

all is quiet and waiting....................

 

◄ Love neat

A Dying Art ►

Comments

Profile image

Jason Bayliss

Sat 15th Jun 2019 23:08

I love this Jennifer, for two reasons. One, because it's so well written and two, because it's so beautifully descriptive of a magical moment in a magical place. Beautiful.

J. x

Profile image

jennifer Malden

Thu 13th Jun 2019 15:20

Thanks Mona, Don and Devon for the very generous comments. Delighted to hear i use poetic devices!!!! (Do get it.)
Devon - I did add another line - 'hoping to see the dawn again', but preferred the original as perhaps it gives a sense that something, anything, or nothing might happen. This is a place we go to, and at night I always have a sense of expectancy - exactly for what i don't know.

Thanks again. jennifer

Profile image

mona s

Thu 13th Jun 2019 04:21

Skillful and beautiful use of poetic devices. Love this..

Profile image

Don Matthews

Wed 12th Jun 2019 00:20

So good Jennifer. Yes, I can see the space, waiting in anticipation for it's comma - or hyphen ?

Devon Brock

Tue 11th Jun 2019 23:22

The sun dying gallantly - a unique and unexpected image. Taken already. Your movement from sky to ground is silky smooth. Perhaps a comma or hyphen after "waiting"? All in all, placid and evocative.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message