When night comes

The tangerine sun died gallantly

succumbing amid coral pink and turquoise,

then disappearing into slate blue oblivion.

Slowly the sky became black sequinned velvet,

and a pale moon crept timidly forth

outlining all with a silvertipped pen.

In the warm jasmine-scented dusk

the long sharp grass-stems rustled softly

under the deepest tree-shadow.

Night birds call over the dark creek,

all is quiet and waiting....................


◄ Love neat

A Dying Art ►


Profile image

Jason Bayliss

Sat 15th Jun 2019 23:08

I love this Jennifer, for two reasons. One, because it's so well written and two, because it's so beautifully descriptive of a magical moment in a magical place. Beautiful.

J. x

Profile image

jennifer Malden

Thu 13th Jun 2019 15:20

Thanks Mona, Don and Devon for the very generous comments. Delighted to hear i use poetic devices!!!! (Do get it.)
Devon - I did add another line - 'hoping to see the dawn again', but preferred the original as perhaps it gives a sense that something, anything, or nothing might happen. This is a place we go to, and at night I always have a sense of expectancy - exactly for what i don't know.

Thanks again. jennifer

mona s

Thu 13th Jun 2019 04:21

Skillful and beautiful use of poetic devices. Love this..

Profile image

Don Matthews

Wed 12th Jun 2019 00:20

So good Jennifer. Yes, I can see the space, waiting in anticipation for it's comma - or hyphen ?

Devon Brock

Tue 11th Jun 2019 23:22

The sun dying gallantly - a unique and unexpected image. Taken already. Your movement from sky to ground is silky smooth. Perhaps a comma or hyphen after "waiting"? All in all, placid and evocative.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message