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On a London bus

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Trudging tiredly home one evening

stopped dead on wet pavement, astonished

a wonderful polished obsidian head

perfectly shaped like a jetblack Nefertiti

with brilliant many coloured headwrap

from some far sunseared land

flaming in the northern gloom

seen through the dingy raindropped

window of a litup London bus

one dire darkĀ  damp December night

a long time ago.

◄ Leonardo da Vinci

Watching for the beavers ►

Comments

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Mae Foreman

Thu 1st Aug 2019 15:17

Loved this! Kudos Jeniffer! Also I've always loved the -edly words!?
Mae

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raypool

Thu 1st Aug 2019 15:01

Hi Jennifer. It's good that you used the word knowing it was valid - I'm afraid I didn't, as in 75 years I never seen or heard it and doesn't appear in my 1964 Oxford dictionary. Of course words should be made up and we're all the better for it. Where would we be without the Jabberwocky gyring and gimbling etc. I just find it hard to believe that a word like tired which describes a state of mind has to be itself further qualified. Though we all know wearily or sanely etc. I admit. I will try to adjust my brainwashed old mind to not only remember words now hardly ever used which I love but new variations.

Thanks for clearing that up ! I liked the poem a lot as I think you know.

Ray

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jennifer Malden

Thu 1st Aug 2019 14:44

Thanks all for the gratifying comments!! Presumably Ray claimed that tiredly didn't exist? Hate to say so, but in my posh Oxford Dic it does!!!!! . - tired adj. tiredly adv - tiredness noun. Who cares anyway- I see poets often use invented/doubled up/distorted words, so as far as I'm concerned, anything goes. The important thing is that the 'poem' means something to whoever reads it, and the more innovative the better.
this really happened to me, and the memory is still vivid. ( I wasn't 'trudging' but tiptapping along in very high stilettos,) A long time ago!!
Thanks also Devon and elPintor for the likes.
Jennifer

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Don Matthews

Thu 1st Aug 2019 11:32

Please come on Ray don't feel so
Don't feel so sadly-so
We all know tiredly don't exist
We're not against you, foe

Your comment was constructive
And what you said was right
We need you just to enter fun
When fun it enters site.......



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raypool

Thu 1st Aug 2019 10:52

Hi Jennifer. Dueto the defence shown of tiredly in your lovely poem and the sneering defence of it I have now removed my comment which I had misguidedly thought was constructive. Others know better or wish to pretend to. I rest my case. .. sadly I took a chance which was not appreciated .

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Don Matthews

Thu 1st Aug 2019 00:13

Tiredly's not a word?
'Tis in my latest dic
As is all those we use now
Like gonna open mic

I looked up biggo Rose
Thumbs up, you can use this (also littley)
And 'em 'em, bend 'em, break 'em Fish
And shit Don! also shish

Hey Rose and Fish we could produce
A special WOLers dic
Evolving WOLer lingo thus
Yep, biggo's my first pick

I'm sorry Jen got sidetracked here
Blame it all on Ray
Your memory superbly writ
Brought out from where it lay........

(yep? tick. thingo? tick - rhymes with Rose's biggo, near nuf. Hey? it says nuf's a new-age word......

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afishamongmany

Wed 31st Jul 2019 22:18

Oh no Ray no! If tiredly wasn't a word before it certainly is now? Take 'em, bend 'em, break 'em, remake 'em. Main thing is, what we paint with 'em. ? ><>

<Deleted User> (9882)

Wed 31st Jul 2019 21:50

liked and loved biggo fashion!







Rose ?

Philipos

Wed 31st Jul 2019 19:37

An enjoyable read this one, reflections in the rain, mirrors, memories, -mists, where would be without them chugging away at our thoughts. ?

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