WTF?

I used to play at games all day

With me young mate Gad

Now been told to give it up

Play cards with mum and dad

Card games? shit, how boring

Card games, shit, they suck

Wanna go and play with Gad

Card games? WTF?

Don Matthews April 2020

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I'm a Celebrity. I'm Self-Isolating in my Mansion. Watch Me on Instagram

I'm Dave Geffen celebrity

Isolating on my yacht

In pristine waters Grenadines

Easy? Shit, it's not

Yacht's 600 million

Can't party with my friends

On board we have all luxuries

When will my pain stop, end?

I'm also a celebrity

“We're all in this together”

Concerned I am abo...

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“Irresponsible and Dangerous Mr Trump” (Dr Gupta, Global Health Policy Expert)

My scientists have told me some info

That chemicals kill Covid quick smart

Chemicals like bleach and rub alcohol

Ideas this has given me, let's start

Since bleach disinfectant kills Covid

This virus which many infect

Let's get bleach direct into body

Just grab a syringe and inject

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Whacky

This lockdown's sent me whacky

Whacky reigns supreme

Three cheers for whacky, one, two, three

Whacky on your screen

But whacky does have advantages:

Whacky relieves pressure

Whacky reigns supreme

Three cheers for whacky, one, two, three

Whacky on your screen

'ray 'ray 'ray

Don Matthews April 2020

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My Neurons They Are Groaning

My neurons they are groaning

Under all my rhyme

Why are you always whipping us

Whipping us big time?

You should be grateful neurons

With all your dose of whip

If not you'll get slack, lazy and

My poetry will slip

Gosh!, can't let that happen...

Quick, whip us some more....

Don Matthews April 2020

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My Rhymatic Friend

I do like doing things different

In my own unconventional way

Inventing new words, absurd and unheard

And looking for new ones to say

Yes I do like doing things different

Unconventionally day after day

I like me like that, so's the cat and his hat

We don't care what others may say

Doctor Suess had it right when he said

To conventional...

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No “Oans, Zwoa, G'suffa”

No bottoms up in Bavaria

No bottoms up this year

Corona's upset the applecart

No schmear, no cheer, no beer

Don Matthews April 2020

https://youtu.be/VZHcc9bF2jc

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Wonky

My eyes are seeing double

Double on the screen

Everything I seem to post

Has a double mean

Took myself to optom who

Deals with wonky eyes

To me, “please cover left, then right”

I asked him wonky? Why?

You're old he said, get muscle droop

Won't do what brain tells to

We fix you up, no problem Don

Choogaloogaloo

(Choog,. Nothing to do ...

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Happy Little Covid Family

I am a little Covid

But not Covid 19

I only have four knobs on me

(Long way 'til I'm a teen)

My dad is Covid 19

My mum Covid two-three

23 take 19

Explains their name for me

Covid 4...

Scientists are bit puzzled

About my mum and me

Despite a Covid family

We leave you symptom free

We have them racing (franti...

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Should Have Tied Skip Up Last Night. Just Plain Forgot

Skip is my pet kangaroo

I tie up at home overnight

It seems that he wanted to go try his luck

In finding a lady, last night

G'day.....

The police they were good, they did track him

“A suspect in a grey furry coat”

Unfortunately they lost him in the parklands

The second line above is their quote

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Should Have Tied Skip Up Last Night. Just Pain Forgot

Skip is my pet kangaroo

I tie up at home overnight

It seems that he wanted to go try his luck

In finding a lady last night

G'day.....

The police they were good, they did track him

“A suspect in a grey furry coat”

Unfortunately they lost him in the parklands

The second line above is their quote

D...

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Coronavirus Psychosis and Belarus

I am President Lukashenko of Belarus

I rule with an iron fist

My people love me

All this fuss about a virus is just ridiculous

“Coronavirus psychosis” has taken over

Our factories are open

Our kindergartens are open

Our restaurants and universities are open

Our football league

With spectators, still play

Th...

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I'm scripting LMS's

Next ride in the Park

Hear the Rollercoaster coming?

Hear it coming? Hark?

No...

No?...

No.  Can't hear anything....

Bother..forgot the audio...

Don't worry. Join me up.  I'll listen in virtual life....

Lucy?....A new member...

Nice one Don....

Head of Publicity....

Nice to meet you Miss...

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Scroll

If my poem don't appeal

Don't send your mind agog

I don't mind if you do decide

To scroll down to next blog

D. Matthews (Learning Poet)  April 2020

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Tick Tock Tick Tock

I have an over-active

An over-active mind

I wish it would go stop itself

Go stop and just unwind

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Unwind to where it started

Adjust it's tick and tock

Back to where I want it

Want my neural clock

Tick Tock Tick Tock

To me this isn't normal

A normal thinking mind

One who thinks his mind is like

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The Problem of Wanting to Increase Birthrate

They're saying our birthrate needs increasing

But misses the point of house cost

In the 60's a mortgage was affordable

But in today's market one can get lost

The husband could work at his occupation

And the couple have children without bother

While the partner could stay at home working

At being what she wanted – a moth...

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Seeking, Asking Answers

Who created our world?

Or did it just begin

From one giant explosion

Left over, when it fin?

Who created biosphere?

Or did it just evolve

From one small fish so long ago

This question, who can solve?

Who created flora?

Or was it from one spore

Evolved across millennia

From where it was before?

I'm seeking, asking an...

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Puzzled Supermarket Shelf

(Some enterprising supermarket seems to have given up)

I am a supermarket shelf

Where have my rolls all gone?

You've filled me up with Easter eggs

Whatever's going on?

Supplies of you loved toilet rolls

Have all but vanished, gone

You being empty, not good look

You've nothing for the john

For Easter we are telli...

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Deleted User

Some people come

And some people go

Why this does happen

I really don't know

Did they see something

Something on site

They thought was offensive

To them, was not right?

Maybe their muse

Had tripped off on hols

Leaving them lost-like

Writer-blocked on WOL

Maybe were embarrassed

To post on the screen

Thought them not good ...

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Two Dealers in Death

Deaths in the State of New York now

Compare with those in twenty oh one

When terrorists attacked with their evil

And blocked out with darkness, their sun

Don Matthews April 2020

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I Will Get the USA Open By Easter

Donald Trump wants the USA open by Easter

Because the economy is more important

Than a silly virus

Argument 1:

“We lose 1,000's and 1,000's of people a year to flu”

“We don't turn the country off”

Argument 2:

“We lose much more than that

To automobile accidents”

“We didn't call up the automobile companies to s...

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Waaaaaaaaaaa !

Our Chinese shop is closed Layla

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !

MacDonalds is closed too

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !

You'll have to now eat mummy's cooking

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

There's nothing I can do

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !

Mummy? Pizza Hut? Open?

Sorry Layla no

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !

You'll hav...

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Tradwives. A Mashup of Traditional Wives

(Adapted from a newspaper article)

A bevy of women want to return to the 1950's

And have dinner on the table at 6.30 for their husbands

They want to don aprons

Spend afternoons baking

And be the only ones

Who get to scrub the toilet

The dream of hoovering in heels

Putting on a pretty pinafore

Putting th...

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