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depression (Remove filter)

Never Alone

My mind is the only place I feel understood.

It’s a direct reflection of the confusion,

The hatred,

The insanity,

And yet it is home to me.

It beckons me back when I wander too far.

It calls my name when I’m lost in the dark.

Yet even with a thousand blessings,

I find myself crawling back towards the Hell

That dwells within me.

The chasm therein is deeper still

Tha...

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lonelyalonedepressioninsightdarkgothecho

Flowing

I’m drowning in the remnants of my own mind,

Falling deeper into the abyss of consciousness

That threatens to spill out onto the pavement at any given moment.

Pull the trigger and watch it flow?

Flowing,

     flowing,

          flowing out.

My soul is bursting at the seams,

     breaking out,

          broken up,

               bending wildly.

I’m bartering with my...

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disconnectedinternal conflictdepressionideationinternal dialogueflowdrowningmindfulnessmindful

Black & Blue

Cry me black and blue

     And black and blue 

          And crimson tears will fall.

     Break apart this wanton fret

That consumes us all.

     Broke into my heart again

          To build a crumbled wall

     While I waste internally

Replaying what I saw.

 

Cry me black and blue

     And black and blue

          And scarlet veins will die,

     So strain ...

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depressionbipolarautismlonlinesswavesegobrokenheartedhelplessbruisetears

Can tell

Can tell
Give me your heart, you lied from the start 
Looked in ya eyes ain what you want 
I can telll James got ya heart 
That’s who you wanted it from the start 
Cut me off, youn wanna talk 
Let me die you could just walk 
Really had the key into my heart 
Why you wanna do me this when I’m soft 
Hurt 
All in my thoughts 
Left me dying, now it’s my fault 
Crying 
Lonely in a empty lo...

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Paindepressionlovelessloveheartbreakdeath

Myself

I gave my all into this dhit 

I put everything I had into this bitch 

Just to get chewed up

Left dying,crying, lying in a ditch 

Painful eyes from crying 

Lonely nights, I was dying 

For all the times, I was coming up and could only afford to feed you; and not myself 

This for all the ones I left, even when u couldn’t let me be myself 

I put myself on the shelf just so u co...

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Depressionseparationbetrayallovehatepainmental

Imagine

Imagine

 

 

 

 

 

Why they have my back on the wall 

When my heart was pure, I loved all yall 

Imagine the one you loved, be the reason you fall 

Imagine putting everybody weight on your shoulder 

And they applaud when u fall 

Imagine being so lonely and broken, with no one to call 

Imagine ...

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Crosseddeceptionpainlovehatedepressiondrunkalcoholheartbroken

For When I Was Lost

For when I was lost

I gazed into you 

 

Like the flame of a single candle

You lit up the darkness

 

Kept the beauty of light alive

But as I gazed too long

Your glow began to melt

 

And then the light went

Not in you, but me

 

Your soul within mine

The touch not of a burn 

The glint not of a flame

 

But the sleek of a mirror 

I can see in this d...

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Heartbreakpainlovesoulmatesdepression

Life

Life ain’t play fair 

Prob be the reason why I can’t pay my fare

But somehow I still stayed loyal and fare 

I always tried to get it my own,

Just so I could pay my fare 

I’m down 20 to 30 in the middle of nowhere 

My heart ache

The pain I just wish I could shake 

I wish me and my bm 

Could just relate 

Plz Britt 

Don’t think I’m gonna be a bad parent 

Just becau...

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lovehatemistrustdepressiondrunklifeheart

Moral Support

We shouldn’t be embarrassed
to talk
…. about our problems
to a therapist

always looking at me, before you speak

I’m here for —You
if ever
you feel the need to talk about anything.

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therapydepressionmentalhealthlovepoetrypoetpoemwriterwritingmetaphysicsoccultgodUSAfashionmakeupbeautynature

Myself

I left everything, and made you my everything. Just for you to stab me in the back. Down on my lowest you left. I thought you had my best interest, instead you squeezed my heart to death. And instead of giving it back you left my heart on the shelf. Haven’t let me seen taeden, you got him thinking I left him by himself.  Left me for dead, I was sleeping in the car by myself. Cold and lonely, I did...

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alcoholdrinkingdrowningheartdepressionpain

Tumours

I'm laying on the operating table

The lights almost blinding me

As I wait for the anaesthetic to kick in

Waiting for the bliss of sleep

 

I realise... 

 

There was no anaesthetic

I begin to panic but my body stays still

As if I'm chained up to the table

As if my brain is denying control

 

I feel each cut the surgeon makes

I feel a warm liquid dripping down my...

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self harmdepressionisolationanxiety

Starry nights

Here I am floating in the starry night

Filling my head with thoughts of delight

Flying through the atmosphere

In fear.

That I might go too far and reach the expanding abyss

 

Here I am floating in the starry night 

Drifting aimlessly through the black void

Without a tether... without a voice

In fear 

That I might drift back into earth's orbit and plummit to the core

...

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dissociationdepressionanxietyout of body experience

Eyes on Me

I don’t want to be seen

 

I don’t want to be perceived

 

I wish I could go anywhere and be invisible.

 

People are everywhere

 

Eyes are everywhere

 

They’re all living their own lives but why do I feel as though mine is being watched?

 

As though they’re looking for a mistake in me

 

Is my hair messy?

 

Is my outfit mismatched?

 

Do I walk wei...

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poetrypoemlifeeyesanxietyhelpdepression

a bad habit

i find myself texting you late at night

until you block me i’ll keep on coming back

wish i was only here out of spite

but in reality i need to talk to someone during my panic attack

 

i know it’s selfish to use you for reassurance 

however it’s the only thing that can soothe my racing mind

and i haven’t gotten enough money for insurance 

so i hope it doesn’t make you feel c...

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depressionattachmentsadtextcallthoughts

late night walking

used to take things before going on walks

it’d be dark and cold

and i’d be underdressed

i couldn’t seem to withhold

 

i’d stumble around the neighborhood 

trees and leaves would move

even though there was no breeze

i couldn’t seem to mentally improve 

 

i grew more and more detached

would walk by a half way house everynight

i thought that perhaps that would one ...

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drugshighsadwalksnightscaryshadowdepressionmental illness

going blind

i know you’re disappointed in me

we always scream for hours and fight

until i decide to go out on a walk by the big oak tree

even though i can barely see the sidewalk at night

 

im starting to think that i can’t see in general anymore

i look in the mirror and see someone new

it’s like i’ve never seen her before

i wonder if you feel that way about me too

 

my therapist...

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sadmental health issuesdepressionglassesanxietytherapy

I still don't know if you're alive

When I close my eyes I see the sun rising over the ocean. I see a succession of cars. I hear you laugh. I see knives in the flesh. I see fireflies surrounding your body. I see endless trees and a forest I have never known. I see barbells and birds. Lots of birds. I see the moment you decided to give up, I see you vomiting in the toilet after taking the pills.  I see you telling me you thought the ...

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deathdepressiongirlhoodhospitaloverdoseguilt

Monsters don’t exist

Monsters don’t exist they say, they aren’t under your bed
I realise now I’m older, it was all just in my head,
but them ones are the scariest, the monsters in your mind,
the ones that make your heartbeat race, the creatures you can’t find.
Only you can feel them there, it’s driving you insane.
your body shakes, your brain, it aches ,from fears that live within,
you cry inside, you’ve got to ...

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Anxietydepressionmonsterspills

Grey Day

Well he's definitely very angry today
He's gone and taken the world's colour away
Left me with only white, black and grey
Nothing, nada, no red, blue, yellow or green
No trace of them, gone! nowhere to be seen.
Vibrant pink, warm orange and vermillion
There nothing left now in this colourless prison
So how to describe the earth's serene face
The tree's and the flowers and wide open space
...

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Mental healthdepressioncolourdark

The Inner Feeling

The inner feeling

In which they are hidden

There’s no power of healing

The things that are forbidden

 

A little, tiny, very small

Peeking through the wall

Short, not very tall

The most whimsical of us all

 

Power we cannot see

The ghastly things are up for a walk

The prisoners are we

Suddenly we’re not able to talk

 

A dried fiend,

A false end,

At...

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horrordepressionrhyme

The Loss

Every loss is felt

Just as a ripple is spelt in water

Ever decreasing, calming asunder

 

A clock ticks in a house even emptier than before

The dark lingers in a hall still and sure

The cat rules now

Wondering why and how

 

Water weeps from a pungent wound

Never to be cleaned but to neglect and fester

Such a thought no beautiful sight could hinder

Leaving the los...

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lossgriefsadnessdeathdepressionhopelessness

My Love Is For Me, Not For You

Roses are red, violets are blue,

When I think of your love for me, I lose love for you.

What does my love feel like to me?

Being surrounded by beauty that only I can see.

 

Hidden behind my smile is someone fragile, flawed, and easily broken.

I showed you all of my healed scars and one by one you ripped them back open.

Again and again, my mind retreats to happier days while I ...

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love lostlovelessmarriagevulnerabilityraw poetrydepressionstrengthperseverancefragileflawedeasily brokendarkloneliness

Coming To Grips

Sitting here thinking, another week gone.

Another small increment moved from the fire.

It feels like it does when you’re just waking up,

half grasping consciousness, half in the mire.

 

When you’re not quite sure if it’s real or a dream,

the one where no matter your efforts you fail.

In total frustration you claw just to move,

and in the struggle, you miss the details

 

...

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regretmental illnessdepression

unachievable dreams

didn't wake up with the intention of being bad

I don't know why there's a pit in my stomach when no one is dead

run around my house and verbally beat up my dad

the screams sound bloodshed

 

he says, "there's so much you wanna do" 

and i obvert my eyes

wait around for a mental break-through

and make unachievable plans doing the highs

 

i wanna be a savior

and get th...

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sadteenagegirlteenagerrelationship with parentsdepressionanxietypoetry

In Case I Lose This Fight

I almost killed myself tonight,

I ran out of reasons to live and reasons to fight.

Each day is a battle just to survive,

How is it that I am expected to thrive?

 

The loneliness in this house is overbearing,

I feel like a fool for even caring.

All I need is to be loved and feel wanted,

But my reality is the opposite while my brain is haunted.

 

Nothing I say or do wil...

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depressionhelplesshopelessself-destructionfragileflawedeasily brokendarkraw poetryvulnerable

When The Darkness Falls

It’s colder now and seems somehow

more empty than before.

I wish I’d known the future then,

and what it held in store.

No longer is there will of heart

to venture form these walls,

and so I sit alone inside…

when the darkness falls.

 

Each stone hand crafted for the cause

to block away the pain.

The mortar mixed to guarantee

no feeling will remain.

A mist ens...

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darknessdepressionemptiness

chronic pain

i'm sick of doing the best i can
because it isn't ever enough
if I can't be good,
what's the point of being here at all?

I never sleep well anymore
even though I tell the doctors I sleep fine
I just stare at the ceiling
and live through the lives of others

sit in class with an ache behind my eyes
I can't even tell if the pain is real
excedrin can only do so much
and I think my toler...

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depressionhypochondriahypochondriacpainhealthhealth anxietymental healthfamily

supporting the economy

my worth is always fluctuating
you talk to me like I'm worth nothing
but when it's past nine pm I'm priceless
I can't tell if I'm a commodity

you told me you liked me out of the blue
it was almost out of impulse
like that pretty journal, you bought but never used
both are just things that are nice to have around

you didn't need to do that
you had plenty of things at home stuffed in yo...

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economyimpulsivedepressionshoppingrelationshipsituationship

the moon and the sun

you told me i’d only fail

laugh at my hopes and dreams

you act as if i’m frail

there’s often reoccurring themes 

 

you know i’m not dumb 

it’s just that you don’t care

so don’t ask me for gum

and don’t you give me that stare

 

i don’t know how we ever got along 

we’re opposites like the moon and the sun

you probably think you’re the moon, but i think that you’re...

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friendsmoonsunspacesaddepressioncruel

Freefall

Sat through another non-eventful free fall through the ceiling

while trying hard to feel something despite the way I'm feeling.

 

Trying hard to find my way back to the time of when

I didn't have to sit in this damn chair time and again.

 

For every day now seems a bit more like the day before.

Just like a cross between a treadmill and revolving door,

 

where weeks and m...

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struggledepressionmental illness

Exit

It’s finally the day to come,

blood mixing in.

Flows like a river

through oceans of sin.

 

Long past the point

where the numbness was new.

Long past believing

that anything’s true.

 

Steel against flint,

only flash in this night.

Desperate to see

but it only ignites,

 

the gasoline soaked

twisted rags in my soul.

No way to stop it

and nowhere t...

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brokendownbeatengiving updepressionheartache

Days End

The days don’t seem to give a damn,

they march in step of time.

They stare ahead with eyes of steel

while never breaking line.

 

They torture me with disregard,

they tread upon my soul.

They seem so unaware I’m here,

they simply come and go.

 

I once believed the day would come,

I hoped that it would give

the thing that I was searching for -

a reason I should...

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depressionstrugglesuicide

Lightening

Lightening burns and strains my mind

Freezes my thoughts like a photo

Open to think again

Alive again to life ever after 

For now at least

Lifting me from depressions hungry jaw

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lighteningdepressionmindclearthoughts

Sorrow's Bounty

In a world of plenty, where joy should reign,

A soul wanders lost, drowning in pain.

He has it all, or so it seems,

Yet inside, he's adrift in shattered dreams.

 

Possessions many, but feelings in drought,

Tears concealed, smiles worn throughout.

Once in a while, breaks down unseen, 

In the quiet ache, where joy's been.

 

Everything's there, yet nothing to hold,

A ...

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depressionplentyabundancelifesorrowcrypain

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