I’m not sure how to do this…
to turn around from self-hatred.
to not despise this life of mine.
to no longer want to throw it away.
To realize it was never mine to begin with.
To be thankful for all that I do have
and to seek the flaws in my own logic.
not for self-pity,
but to reorganize my perspective
and see what I’ve had the whole time
and simply missed.
Friday 20th May 2022 6:13 pm
what is it I’m trying to do here?
“your poetry is beautiful”
“you should be proud of yourself”
If only I never hid away.
If only I was still 7,
then it would be acceptable.
If I had opened up back then,
I would have had people falling over themselves
to make me feel better.
But I’m a grown ass man now.
and no amount of complaining will do a da...
Friday 20th May 2022 6:08 pm
Can I have a hug?
Can I not be pulled away from?
Can I be weak, and in pain?
Can I have any physical connection that isn’t sexual?
Can I not be afraid, of the casual flirting,
with the barista behind the counter.
Can I have a small piece of the love,
Shown between a girl and her friends.
She goes to embrace another she,
A group of besties, inseparable from each...
Friday 20th May 2022 6:07 pm
I want to split my head on a fire axe
I want to be found, dangling in a closet
I want to be a fine red mist on the front of a train
I want to be pulled in four by horses and rope
I want to be skewered atop a church steeple,
on display for all to see, as in the ancient days
I want to decorate my room with my flesh,
and turn my sanctuary into a meat locker
I want to...
Friday 20th May 2022 6:00 pm
Suicide was my religion
I woke up every morning and called myself garbage
I went to sleep every night calling myself a coward
I was so absolutely furious that I was alive.
And so petrified that I might actually go that far,
should I ever put effort into my own abilities.
Clinging to life by my depression and sorrows.
I know no other life.
I know no other reality....
Friday 20th May 2022 5:52 pm