People often say that God is merciful.
Then why is it that every night, every day, every waking hour of mine,
I keep reciting the same prayer?
‘Have mercy, my Lord, and put this subject of yours out of their misery’.
If God is so merciful, then why is it that I still find myself breathing?
Exhaling every breath, hoping this one will be my last.
Why is it that I find myself all t...
Tuesday 21st March 2023 10:10 am
How do you dance?
I was once a dancing flame but I forgot how to dance so I mimicked others until one day... pft.
I am unable to see myself burning out untill I spit, clinging to the bitter end of the wick.
At first, I am a soldier, fighting because I know the end is coming.
At the end is a void. Nothing in it and nothing can fill it. Nothing matters.
DESPERATION. Pouring everything and anything into th...
Tuesday 21st February 2023 8:34 pm
On no day in particular
You arose with ease renewed
The dark veil had lifted from your mind
Pulled softly like so many cob webs
Suddenly the rain stopped pouring so heavily and turned to a comforting drizzle kissed with a warm breeze
The sun no longer bore down so hatefully
Instead gently caressed your face soothing
And existence seemed to lean in and whisper, "...
Monday 31st October 2022 4:45 pm
Hello again Mr. Ink
Hello again Mr. Ink,
It's been a long time and I'm kinda glad.
Everytime you come around is because things are bad.
I havn't felt the need to have you in my life.
That desire has been back.
The need to write my feelings down.
The need to cry as I type..
Funny how back then I worte with pen and paper with my tears runing down.
Look at me now..
Thursday 30th June 2022 2:11 am
Imprisoned inside my own head.
Endless loops of excessive or inadequate.
The overwhelming depth of darkness poisons me;
And I'm consumed by voices that scream for release;
the intoxicating craving for peace.
Until I overdose on overthinking,
Yet so tortured by this terrifying emptiness,
That I am just too numb to fear that fear.
I am simply a shell of a girl ...
Tuesday 29th March 2022 5:19 pm
Hang in there or Hang Yourself
I'm defenceless, powerless.
Constrained, by uncontrolled emotions,
To this rollercoaster: up, down, up, down.
Desperate screams silenced in smothering shame.
I didn't consent to this ride,
So why won't you let me get off?
Sadness is suicide;
Anger is murder,
Happiness is euphoric,
And normal? Normal is northing.
And nothing being an insufferable emptiness,
Tuesday 29th March 2022 5:16 pm
My own storm.
I'm sat at the cliff,
Black clouds hold threat over me;
Fog that smothers my vision;
Obscures my perceptions.
Deafened by the dark waves,
Crushing and punishing the soft clay.
My desperate screams mimicked and echoed;
By winds that wrap me up,
Trap me in this silent storm,
I'll squint through the shadows,
Search for the sun they all bathe in.
But my fingernails fil...
Tuesday 29th March 2022 5:10 pm
Breaking The Silence
I seek myself
Fighting demons in my head
I fight a battle daily in my head
These voices in me try to bring me down
Saying I'm not good enough
My chest aches
As though a stone presses on me
My lungs gasp with stifling air
Feeling short of breath
I suffocate with my head barely above water
As much I may try to avoid it
It always finds me in the quiet
Robbing me of...
Monday 24th January 2022 7:16 am
it's taking over me
i am my own worst enemy
i am hopelessly lost in my own head
my words are so hollow and dead
hands over mouths
hands aroundyour neck as the gasps become howls
you are so cold and alone
you can search but you will never seek your home
crawl right into my face
its such a dead empty place
crawl right out from the inside
forced out by a sou...
Saturday 19th December 2020 9:43 am
THE WAY AM I
Nobody knows me,
Not even myself
I meet people everyday
I talk , I laugh , I smile
Others say that I lie.
I’m complicated, orphic
hard to understand
Just like the way we don’t know what happens in between the oceans.
Sunday 26th July 2020 4:34 am
She was trying
Trying to be calm
Trying to mute the
Monologue inside her mind.
Full of contradictions to herself,
Full of arguments
Full of endless thoughts
She felt like being pulled
In a spiral
Down and down and down
With each breath she took
Swallowing her own soul
As if she split up
Into two halves
Halves against each other
She was he...
Thursday 23rd July 2020 5:13 pm
Wish I Could
What would I wish for, if given the chance?
For a start, I'd wish I could dance
Wish I could learn without having to repeat
Wish I could earn my depression's defeat
Wish I could do all the things I want to do
Wish I could prove the love I have for you
Wish I could act on all these wishes
Wish I didn't have to do the dishes
Wish I could be the person you need
Wish I could resist the sin of...
Sunday 10th May 2020 10:58 am
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