Poetry Blog by Suki Spangles (humorous poetry)

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Fifty Shades Of Freckle-Faced Dalek

i fell so hopelessly in love with a freckle-faced dalek
she was sitting in the park on a swing farouche alone
yet we got chatting and one thing naturally led to the other
so we rolled into a nearby quarry
where she plugged the scintillating us into a pylon
we mind-melded moons stars power-stations and suns
please don't feel envious of our cosmical abandon 
or this most unique slap-and-tickl...

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Sylvia Plath's Silver Fox

sylvia plath
oh how you made us laugh
alas 
if only you had used a microwave oven

ted hughes
like all great poets
you were great with women weren't you
and to be fair
you also wrote a really good poem about a fox
and you got laid many times because of it
and apparently three of your loves killed themselves
three 
and then you published some poems about one of them
but not the other tw...

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humorous poetry

Sun And Air

 

I've fallen deeply in love with the girl 
Hiding in the electronic check-out number four.

She never sounds sad or angry.
Her perfect, modulated tones,
Oh, how I wish to take her home.

There she hides beneath the screen,
"Please place the item in the bag..",
So I respectfully place my vegan mayonnaise,
In the bag.


In the past,
Leaning close to her bar-code reader,
I've whispered,

"Would you like to ...

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Bleeding-Edge Prophet

(folks, this one is a bit of an epic, so have a cup of tea ready, or perhaps a few shots of vodka..)

 

And Lo
So let it be said
And let it also be written thus
And let it be passed down through the generations
Like rare unicorn musk..

There was once a man so wise
And this wise man was a very wise man
And he did offer me deeply learned counsel
And he did point to a very far away place
Way over there b...

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That Inevitable Question

A handful of commuters,
On the platform,
Waiting,
Were waiting,

A man -
Some bloke,
Walked past me,
And up to the self-service confectionery machine,
And started making noises: huh! huh! hoohauuh! hooh-hoh!

So..
I asked myself that inevitable question:
Should I turn around?

Should I turn around?
Do I really need to see why this man -
This bloke -
Is making these strange noises?

I decid...

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humorous poetrypost-rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

The Transcendentalist

So the scents of pre cornflake sex
And post energy drink breath
Pervades the carriage like a squid squadron infusion..

Acrid lemon bleach musk cologne
Tinkly-plink-thud beats effervesce from earphones
She leans arching on the glass pane knackered
Eye-liner Rothko remastered
Her groin marine satyr
Not so lucky a bastard
She receives a sext from another torpedo piece of spam with pecs
Nigh...

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Meanwhile, In Sweden

Human resources -
She works in human resources.
Don't tell anyone.

Sometimes I hear those screams from her basement;
Screams like giving birth to a fully grown and functioning dentist.

Then, after the screams,
There's that familiar matryoshka doll silence.

The crooked blood leaks from her sleek harbinger mouth,
As she carries the sleek heavy-duty plastic refuse bags,
One by one,
To cast ...

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human resourceshumorous poetryhumourpost-rockpost-rock poetrySuki SpanglesSwedish TV detectiveswork

Tycho (Deviationist Astronaut And The Zany Karmic Architect)

I'm rushing below the firmament in a submarine
Pulled up by balloons 
Rocket thrusters won't work in a vacuum
The torrid plasma liquid washes over the viewing screen
And the Hubble telescope cannot anywhere be seen
This periscope doesn't recognise the space handed to us it seems..

Am I floating beneath the epidermis of a prison planet scheme
I fear this is way beyond my theosophical steam
...

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humorhumorous poetryhumourlyricspost-rock poetryscience fictionscience fiction poetrySuki Spanglessurreal poetry

I Had To Write This Poem

I had to write this poem 
because I thought of this one great line,
What do you think -
will it stand the test of time?

Well, I had to write it down
to deter other poets stealing this idea;
You know lines are clutched from the atmosphere,
Or they fall like apples, spill over like beer.

I had to write this poem,
Because I thought of this one great line;
Like a beat messiah,
My acid milk ...

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humorhumorous poetryhumourlyricsperformance poetrypost-rock poetry

Duty Of Care - Extreme Combat

  Staff Notice  


Dear all
Please take this refresher advice as a friendly reminder
Of our protocol for calling in sick
Which is  

In the first instance call the shift supervisor
Inform them why you are unable to attend your shift
Be as clear as possible
The more information the better 
We don't need to hear a blues lyric
Only the truth
This information will of course remain co...

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Poem of the Week

(Inspired by Write Out Loud's discussion thread: Poem of the Week)

So
This week
It can be announced Gong-Ka-Bong
That this poem
Is Poem of the Week
Art 
Love
And a celebration of the communing with our etheric higher sense
Amen
So
Let us join together
And let the blood-letting commence

Observe the cowering bastards sit on the fence
Poets can be a vicious breed
Almost as obnoxiou...

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humorhumorous poetryhumourPoem of the weekpost-rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

Forest Gate Mystery Train (Spoken Word)

https://youtu.be/Qov_y6PMrw8

I'm on the Forest Gate Mystery Train,
With my burgled geranium eyes.
I'm on the Forest Gate Mystery Train,
Sighing goldfish clock sardine spies.

Spammed atomic; trolleyed marine,
Frost-buckled arms glow margarine,
Slender dolls slalom offside knees,
Capsules backslide into the stalagmite City.

Tutankhamen consortia;
Shoulder-penguins soggy cadge the dappled...

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I'm Going To Write A Poem About You


Childish I'm sure
But the way that pavement cyclist 
Pedestrian-pranged me his signature 
I became his press-ganged human speed-bump
Suffering concrete-kissing discomfiture
Well he certainly deserved nothing less
than the back hand of my pierian
So as the pebble-assed smurf pelted away
Revolving dalek camera on his pompous high viz head
I brushed myself down
Bracing myself for what I a...

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humorous poetrylyricsperformance poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

You Should Have Been Here Yesterday (Copenhagen Unicorns And Stockholm Starfish)

You should have been here yesterday
Ten thousand flamingos danced all over the square
A bouquet of jasmine blooms filled the air
Golden geese spiralled a mid-air fanfare
Peace doves gently dropped ribbon boxes of chocolate eclairs

You should have been here yesterday
Billionaires gave away their mansions and wares
Rare paintings
             and rare cars 
                       with free ...

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